Primeval

Connor Temple:
[running after Nick and Stephen] Professor! Professor Cutter! [Connor catches up to them and extends a hand to shake] Connor Temple.

Nick Cutter:
Sorry, never heard of it. I think you want archaeology. If you go around up there to your right and keep on walking, it's on your left.

Connor Temple:
No, its not... it's not a place, it's my name. I'm one of your students.

Nick Cutter:
Really?

Connor Temple:
Uh-huh.

Nick Cutter:
Well why... why don't I recognise you?

Connor Temple:
Well... you've never actually turned up for the seminars.

Nick Cutter:
Uh-huh.

Nick Cutter:
Connor never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like.

Connor Temple:
I'm one of your students.

Nick Cutter:
Really?

Connor Temple:
Uh-huh.

Nick Cutter:
Well why don't I recognize you?

Connor Temple:
You've never actually turned up for the seminars.

Abby Maitland:
[on seeing her first giant spider in a tunnel] Does anybody have a really big slipper?

Connor Temple:
[having told incredulous fellow students of his episode 1 adventure] I saw a Gorgonopsid... But it's all true! All right: I swear on my Empire Strikes Back first edition poster signed by Luke Skywalker and Dave Prowse.

Tom:
Careful! That's invoking a sacred relic.

Duncan:
Yeah, like the Bible.

Connor Temple:
Yeah, I know what a sacred relic is, Duncan. I have seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. [Exits]

Duncan:
He's lost it.

Tom:
Totally! That's the saddest thing I've seen since Matrix Revolutions.

Connor Temple:
Look, if I don't come back you can have my Star Trek Next Generation Top Trumps.

Abby Maitland:
I'll treasure them.

Connor Temple:
D'you know what? On second thoughts I think you should bury them with me.

Connor Temple:
The same thing happened to me once with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I admit she's a fictional character but, you know, when it feels real... then she starts hanging around with this badly animated dog and it all got a bit... weird. They always break your heart in the end, don't they?

Connor Temple:
Oh, God! You know what? All my life I've wanted to be in a crime-busting gang! And now I am. So... I don't suppose you'd consider giving me a cool nickname, would you?

Professor Nick Cutter:
No.

Connor Temple:
I thought not.

Connor Temple:
You know it wasn't until you got bitten that I felt that one of us could actually die from doing this. It really upset me.

Stephen Hart:
You must have gone through hell.

Connor Temple:
Yep... It did make me think about what's important though; you know, sorts out your priorities a bit. If you get killed, can I have your iPod?

Connor Temple:
Is that perfume?

Abby Maitland:
I can do the girl thing, you know.

Connor Temple:
Ooooh!

Stephen Hart:
You look really good.

Abby Maitland:
Thanks.

Stephen Hart:
It was good of you both to come; you shouldn't have bothered.

Connor Temple:
Don't flatter yourself. Some of us just like hanging out with nurses.

Abby Maitland:
Come on. I'll give you a lift home.

Stephen Hart:
Oh, there's no need; my girlfriend's picking me up.

Connor Temple:
Girlfriend?

Stephen Hart:
Alison. She's been in the rainforest for two years researching infectious diseases.

Connor Temple:
Let's hope she's not one of those girls who brings her work home with her.

Abby Maitland:
Hmm. You must have missed her.

Stephen Hart:
Yeah... I'd better go. Goodbye. [Exits]

Connor Temple:
Two years! How much sex are they going to have over the next few days?

Detective Inspector:
Pretty obvious she killed her boyfriend but we don't know what she did with the body. Just keeps babbling on about monsters and sea serpents.

Professor Nick Cutter:
Would you like me to talk to her?

Detective Inspector:
What about? Monsters? I'm conducting a serious murder investigation here ...

Professor Nick Cutter:
It wasn't a murder. Anthony Barton was killed by an ancient marine predator which then returned to its home millions of years in the past.

Detective Inspector:
Who are you people?

Claudia Brown:
I'm sorry; thanks for your time, Inspector. Cutter! Wait...

Professor Nick Cutter:
The girl's innocent.

Claudia Brown:
I know.

Professor Nick Cutter:
We can't let her go to gaol for something she didn't do.

Claudia Brown:
Leave that with me; I'll do what I can for her.

Connor Temple:
So! How's Alison?

Stephen Hart:
Jet-lagged.

Connor Temple:
[watching Abby pointedly] You see, it's funny 'cos you always give the impression like you were single.

Stephen Hart:
I didn't think I was giving any impression whatsoever.

Connor Temple:
You'd be surprised.

Stephen Hart:
Connor, I'm flattered, but you're really not my type. [rolls into swimming pool]

Claudia Brown:
The police have charged Diane Johnson.

James Lester:
The police have charged Diane Johnson!

Claudia Brown:
We have to intervene!

James Lester:
We're not going to do that.

Claudia Brown:
Why not?

James Lester:
Because I won't allow this story to become public property. At least in prison the newspapers can't get hold of her.

Claudia Brown:
So you're just going to let them lock up an innocent and traumatized girl!

James Lester:
Of course it's undesirable, but it would be far worse to release her to cause panic and disorder. I'll see that the charges are dropped when the immediate crisis is under control.

Claudia Brown:
But that could take months!

James Lester:
And would you rather tell the police that an ancient sea monster is cruising our swimming pools consuming life-guards? I know the injustice stinks, but, um, the correct decisions are often painful. That's the burden of government.

Claudia Brown:
We haven't clarified the exact picture yet, but it looks like a plumber was attacked in some womans cellar.

James Lester:
I'm not surprised. Have you seen how much these people charge?

Connor Temple:
So, eight years, she's been living in the past. My God! How are we going to explain Celebrity Love Island to her?

Helen Cutter:
Presumably there are still laws against kidnapping.

Sir James Lester:
Mmmm, though officially you're dead! We can't have kidnapped somebody who doesn't actually exist, can we? The only way you can get out of here is by telling us everything you know about the anomalies.

Helen Cutter:
I'll tell you one thing: you're the spitting image of a Utah raptor I once met in the Jurassic.

Mrs. Davis:
I didn't expect the SAS!

Professor Nick Cutter:
The town council takes pest control very seriously, Mrs Davis.

Abby Maitland:
Uh... what're you doin' here?

Connor Temple:
The room; do you remember? Don't worry; you'll hardly know I'm about. Listen, you... erm [c*cks an eyebrow towards Tom and Duncan watching from their car]... you couldn't just give us a kiss, could you?

Abby Maitland:
No!

Connor Temple:
I'll give you twenty quid.

Abby Maitland:
Huh! What d'you think I am?

Connor Temple:
I think you're... a person who kidnaps dinosaurs and hides them from the authorities.

Abby Maitland:
You wouldn't! [Connor does the eyebrow thing again and so Abby, wearing only her briefs and a T shirt, emerges from behind the door and gives him a peck on the cheek]

Tom:
[watching from car] Unbelievable!

Sir James Lester:
I think I trust her about as much as I could throw a Stegosaurus.

Professor Nick Cutter:
We better ship this lot back before we upset Darwin. Now, err... everybody grab a dodo.

Tom:
They tried to take me over... but I fought them, Con... I fough - -th - ...

Connor Temple:
You did a really good job.

Tom:
M-Mmh-mm... I'm a hero.

Connor Temple:
I can't do this anymore.

Professor Nick Cutter:
[after Claudia is knocked out by a semi-tranquillised pteradon] Ooops

Claudia Brown:
Four hours? I told you to seal the perimeter, not drystone-wall it!

Connor Temple:
[answering the telephone] Abby Maitland's love shack; number one stud speaking. Oh, n-n-nah it's... it's Connor, professor!

Connor Temple:
Re-e-ex! Where are you, dude?

Abby Maitland:
Did you think he was going to send up a distress flare or something?

Connor Temple:
He knows the sound of my voice; I'm thinkin' he might come running.

Abby Maitland:
He's a lizard, not a golden retriever!

Professor Nick Cutter:
Let's have a look. [shines pen torch into her eyes]

Claudia Brown:
What're you doing?

Professor Nick Cutter:
I've absolutely no idea... but I've seen them do it on ER so there must be something in it.... How are you feeling? Any nausea?

Claudia Brown:
No.

Professor Nick Cutter:
Any headache?

Claudia Brown:
No.

Professor Nick Cutter:
Does anything feel odd at all?

Claudia Brown:
Just the one thing.

Professor Nick Cutter:
What?

Claudia Brown:
I can't see anything.

Professor Nick Cutter:
If I don't make it back, push Lester through the worst anomaly you can find.

Stephen Hart:
It's a given.

Helen Cutter:
[Speaking to Claudia] Who knows? Maybe that's how humanity meets its end, by becoming the food source for a more successful species.

Professor Nick Cutter:
[watching a raptor on video.] It's beautiful. [the raptor eats the camera and the team turns to stare at Nick.] I said it was beautiful; I didn't say it was friendly.

Professor Nick Cutter:
[staring at an unconscious raptor.] Look at it. It's a perfect killing machine. In a fair fight, a mammal wouldn't stand a chance.

Stephen Hart:
Speaking as a mammal, I'm in favor of cheating.

Connor Temple:
How hard can it be to see a raptor in a shopping center?

Boy 2:
[the team is chasing a raptor through a parking garage] What the hell was that?

Professor Nick Cutter:
Radio-controlled Cretaceous-era raptor. Be on the shelves by Christmas.

Claudia Brown:
[as Jenny] Let me help. I want to do something.

Nick Cutter:
Okay. I want you to go and bully a few traumatized bystanders, and then I want you to come up with some spin to just smooth all this away.

Claudia Brown:
[as Jenny] You don't approve of me, do you?

Professor Nick Cutter:
You gave me a fright there. Valerie, what are you doing?

Valerie:
What am I doing? What about you? Don't tell me that you're not responsible for all of this.

Professor Nick Cutter:
What?

Valerie:
You people... with all your mysteries and secrets... I knew who you were from the first minute. You created him in some kind of, horrible genetic experiment, didn't you? He escaped, and now you've come to take him back. Well I won't let you.

Professor Nick Cutter:
That's not how it is.

Valerie:
Please don't lie to me! I'm not stupid. I'm going to take him somewhere safe, and I'll tell everyone what you've done.

Professor Nick Cutter:
But what are you going to say? That you buried your boyfriend after your pet killed him?

Valerie:
...It was an accident. Dave got careless, he didn't know how to handle him...!

Professor Nick Cutter:
And you do?

Valerie:
He trusts me... I'm the closest thing to a mother he's ever had. I went into my garbage one day, and he was just, somehow, magically, there... a tiny cub, frightened, alone. Half-dead. I had to look after him.

Professor Nick Cutter:
I can understand that. And you've done very well, Valerie, but you have to give him up.

Valerie:
So that you can torture him? But of course, you don't call it that, do you? You call it research.

Professor Nick Cutter:
No nonono no, that's not what's going on.

Valerie:
Do you think I can't see how special he is? How unusual? You created him, and now you want to destroy him!

Professor Nick Cutter:
I care about that animal as much as you do, but he doesn't belong here, and you can't help him. I can.

Valerie:
You don't care about him. If you did you would tell the truth!

Professor Nick Cutter:
I'm telling you the truth. You have to trust me, Valerie... okay, okay, it's okay... come on. Help me... please.

Valerie:
It's too late. I'm sorry. I don't want any of this to happen. But I can't abandon him now.

Jenny Lewis:
Maybe you're right. Maybe we're looking for the creatures in the wrong place. At the very least, it's definitely worth checking out.

Nick Cutter:
Hey. As petty-minded bureaucrats go, you're the best.

Oliver Leek:
Sorry, sir. Terrible loss. Such a brilliant man and, of course, a good friend.

James Lester:
Are you out of your mind? Cutter and I loathed each other.

Oliver Leek:
Oh, I didn't realize.

James Lester:
If there's one thing I despise more than stupidity, it's sentimentality.

James Lester:
One more thing.

Oliver Leek:
Yes?

James Lester:
You really are a tiresome little man.

Oliver Leek:
You see, people like me and you, we don't get the pretty girls, Connor. We're the nerds, the losers, the uncool.

Connor Temple:
Speak for yourself.

Nick Cutter:
Connor Temple, Abby Maitland, this is Captain Becker. He's here to protect us so do what he says. [Connor and Abby look et each other puzzled as Cutter turns away]

Nick Cutter:
Unless I think he's wrong.

Sarah Page:
I can't believe I saw Ammut, well, what the Egyptians thought was Ammut, a genuine living legend.

Nick Cutter:
[Having an epiphany] Legends. If anomalies have appeared in the past, and they have, if Pristichampsus is sunning itself on the banks of the Nile 3,000 years ago, that's the stuff of legend.

Connor Temple:
What are you going to do?

Helen Cutter:
Oh, you're going to like this, Connor. I, Helen Cutter, am going to save the world.

Emily:
[after an outside encounter] Don't be scared. It won't hurt us. I look after it. I feed it so it doesn't eat Alfie or the other pets. Everyone pretends it's not real, but it is. I have to stop it from being bad. It's my job.

Abby Maitland:
It's okay, Emily. You can leave that to us now. Okay?

Sir James Lester:
What the hell has got into Cutter?

Abby Maitland:
That's not him.

Connor Temple:
There's two of him.

Sir James Lester:
Two versions of Cutter. Sounds like some sort of nightmare.

Helen Cutter:
[after a clone's suicidal jump] Death means nothing to you, does it? You're lucky.

Nick Cutter:
You still don't get it, do you? That no matter how many times you interfere, you still can't get the result you want because evolution can't be bent to your will.

Helen Cutter:
I really hope you're wrong.

Danny Quinn:
The door's jammed, Connor, go round the other side.

Jenny Lewis:
Oi, I give the orders around here. [Connor pauses] Connor, round the other side.

Jenny Lewis:
I warned you to stay away from this Danny.

Danny Quinn:
See, I thought we were flirting, it's so difficult to read women these days.

[Walking in on Connor who is made home temporarily in one of the labs]

Sir James Lester:
I know some of the creatures can be frightening, but surely this many pairs of underpants is overdoing it.

Sir James Lester:
You know I'll never look at athlete's foot the same again.

Jenny Lewis:
[about Danny] He's really overdoing the alpha male bit isn't he.

[Danny reverses back]

Jenny Lewis:
Something's wrong

Danny Quinn:
No Sat Nav, show us the way back to the ARC.

Danny Quinn:
[about the fungus infected man] So we corner it and then we grill it, right?

Abby Maitland:
Isn't that cruel?

Danny Quinn:
What?

Abby Maitland:
That thing was a man not long ago, suppose he's still in there.

Danny Quinn:
So we ask it nicely and then we grill it, right?

Abby Maitland:
Thank you.

Sir James Lester:
[Looking at the Fungus covered man] Well this could be tricky to explain to the next of kin. Good news he's not technically dead, bad news he's turned into a mushroom.

Captain Becker:
With respect, ma'am, if he discovers he's not been fully informed...

Christine Johnson:
The minister is an imbecile. He can barely blow his own nose. Do you really think I'm going to let a Whitehall glove puppet with the I.Q. of a root vegetable tell me how to do my job? Now find Quinn for me.

Knight:
I am in hell.

Connor Temple:
Technically it's London, but you know, it's an easy mistake to make.

Connor Temple:
Why are you staring at me?

Abby Maitland:
Jack told me what you did.

Connor Temple:
Whatever it is, there's a reasonable explanation for it.

Eve:
[Speaking to Danny] Now will you help me? Please. I have to get a message to a man called James Lester.

Captain Becker:
[Speaking to Connor and Abby] I hope you brought me back a souvenir.

Duncan:
It was after I left, the killing started. People disappearing.

Connor Temple:
Duncan, they probably just moved out because of all the building work.

Duncan:
No! Bodies started turning up, ripped to pieces.

Matt Anderson:
Who's Ethan? Where are you from? When are you from?

Emily Merchant:
I have to find the man who came through with me. We must go back before it's too late.

Philip Burton:
[Speaking to Abby about the animals in the menagerie] I think we seriously have to consider putting them down. It's the only humane solution. It's the safest, the kindest course of action.

Jess Parker:
[Assisting] It helps if you put the volume up.

James Lester:
Yep, sarcasm won't get you promoted, Jess.

Jess Parker:
[Leaving] Hmm. Must've worked for you.

James Lester:
Don't think I didn't hear that.

Matt Anderson:
[Noticing her ring finger] Are you married?

Emily Merchant:
I should've told you.

Matt Anderson:
Forget about it. I guess we both have our secrets.

Ethan Dobrowski:
[Speaking at gun point to Matt] Let me go through the Gateway and you'll never see me again.

Abby Maitland:
Connor?

Matt Anderson:
Abby, I need to know what he's doing for Philip.

Matt Anderson:
We're the people that deal with this sort of thing and we're gonna need your help.

Officer Sam Leonard:
I'm just a sonar officer.

Matt Anderson:
Sam, your senior officer is disabled. That makes you the ranking officer.

Matt Anderson:
[Speaking in 1868 England] Come with me to the ARC. That's where you belong now, Emily.

Emily Merchant:
This is my home and you have your own commitments.

Captain Becker:
Here, you need to drink this. That's an order.

Jess Parker:
You're mean, you know that?

Captain Becker:
Yes I do know that. I'm very mean. Now drink this.

Jess Parker:
I hate you.

Captain Becker:
No you don't.

Jess Parker:
I'm sorry, you're nice really. And you've got lovely hair and a good jaw.

Captain Becker:
I'm uhm, I'm uh, I'm uh going to go and do some security stuff.

Connor Temple:
[Stuck in a disabled car] See, I know that you think you're doing the right thing, but you couldn't be more wrong. New Dawn kills everything.

Philip Burton:
[Squatting outside the car] That is pure nonsense.

Jess Parker:
What if they've failed and this is the beginning of the end, just like Matt said? What if they're all dead?

James Lester:
They're not dead, Jess, and it's not the end of the world. If it was, someone would have sent us a memo.

Aviva Masters:
[about her "relationship" with Tim and Steven's boss] We go to dinner, and to art openings, and people assume...

Steven Johnson:
Of course they do!

Aviva Masters:
Look, do you think if he gave a sh*t about me, I'd be here right now? He just... he likes to be seen with women.

[Tim and Steven sit up in surprise]

Tim Manfrey:
Roger's gay?

Steven Johnson:
International playboy, married six times? He's not tapping your ass, somebody's tapping his?

[Tim and Steven laugh and bump fists]

Aviva Masters:
Look, guys, please don't tell anybody. Please don't...

Steven Johnson:
[they're in the middle of a swamp] Aviva, who the f*** am I gonna tell? Jojo? Hey, Jojo, you know Roger Sharpe?

Jojo:
[sleepily] No.

Steven Johnson:
He's gay.

Jojo:
Okay.

Steven Johnson:
[sees an random African in the airport] What up, my brother?

Steven Johnson:
[guy stares at him] Well, f*** you, too.

Tim Manfrey:
It's stuck.

Aviva Masters:
It can't be stuck. It's a f***ing Range Rover!

Steven Johnson:
You know what? This crocodile's like O.J. Simpson. He messed up when he killed that white woman.

Steven Johnson:
[to Jojo] If I have to shove you up my ass to get you through customs, you are going to America.

Steven Johnson:
I'd never say this in front of a bunch of white people, but slavery was a good thing. Anything you gotta do to get the f*** out of Africa is OK with me.

Steven Johnson:
I HATE F***ING AFRICA!

Mathew Collins:
It's a wonder there are any crocs left.

Jacob Krieg:
You may be grateful for my skills. You're after a maneater.

Mathew Collins:
There are more than enough human beings on this planet. The crocodile is exceptional. A creature of far greater value.

Jacob Krieg:
You don't seem stupid, so you must be insane.

Aviva Masters:
Sorry I called you an a**hole.

Tim Manfrey:
I'm sorry I am one.

Steven Johnson:
[to villagers] Y'all ever seen Jaws, the movie? Might wanna check that out.

Steven Johnson:
I feel like a pork chop on Queen Latifah's dinner plate.

Aviva Masters:
He works for Little Gustave too.

Harry:
So many of us lead double lives. In the city I'm just another functionary, but in the bush, I am God.

Tim Manfrey:
He is Little Gustave.