Pro-Black Sheep

Rashad:
Also, when we get the funds, we should gather all the parents at your church, Reverend Blunton, and you give an encouraging speech before handing over the check to the principal of Stuyvesant.

Rev. Jones:
An encouraging speech.

Rashad:
Yeah. I could hear it now. Blunton giving a speech, directed at the poor black folks, denouncing further spending on depreciable products while investing more in their children's education. We'll be leading by example when handing over the check.

Sandra:
What?

Alex:
Poor black people?

Rashad:
Blunton can also encourage everyone to start celebrate black intellectual ability, not just athletes and rappers.

Courtney:
Who doesn't do that now?

Rashad:
Most black people I grew up with.

Blunton:
I'm not doing anything of the kind.

Rashad:
Why not? The dropout rate was at its highest last year at the Stuy. Education is no big deal to them.

Sandra:
Rashad. It would make Cal look like a... middle class elitist.

Alex:
An obnoxious, middle class elitist.

Courtney:
A non authentically black, obnoxious, middle class elitist.

Rashad:
Morning ma.

Niema:
Morning. Job hunting must've been good. So good you stayed out all night.

Rashad:
You can say that.

Niema:
Uh-uh. What you doing? You have job hunting in two hours.

Rashad:
C'mon mom. It's Saturday.

Niema:
So? Until you find a job, your job is to find a job.

Rashad:
I think she's right Lazer.

Lazer:
Who?

Rashad:
Dinah... Maybe there shouldn't be any affirmative action. It does more to-to hold black people down. Depending on it makes us settle for mediocrity. Without it, we'll be forced to do our best. What's better than that?

Rashad:
And who you going out with?

Tamika:
His name is Warren Brothers. He's a colleague of mine.

Rashad:
Damn Mika. Our engagement ain't even lukewarm in the ground yet and you're already starting with someone new.

Tamika:
I never said he was new.

Rashad:
Where are you going?

Tamika:
To see a Broadway show.

Rashad:
Trying to get back into that?

Tamika:
I was always into it. You never wanted to go with me.

Rashad:
Damn right. The great 'white' way is too white for me.

Tamika:
Meanwhile, your favorite playwrights are Harold Pinter, William Shakespeare, Euripides...

Rashad:
Don't forget August Wilson.

Rashad:
What you know about hip-hop's origins?

Tyrone:
It started on some cheap stuff, in New York, putting nursery rhymes on a Casio beat or something.

Rashad:
Nursery rhymes? What if I told you that true hip-hop can be traced back to poets like Ovid, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Blake...

Tyrone:
Wno? What?

Rashad:
Great poets you can find throughout history.

Tyrone:
Sound like a bunch of white people.

Rashad:
Okay. Buss it. Who's your favorite rapper?

Tyrone:
Fi'ty, Cam, Hov, Mims...

Rashad:
What about Nas?

Tyrone:
Nah man. He lyrical but... he be contradicting himself.

Rashad:
Could it be you're confusing 'contradiction' with 'complex'?

Blunton:
'As a true leader in the black community, improving the under funded schools and demanding more of an unswerving and valiant effort from the lower class in parenting their children should be eminent on your list of priorities... ' You think Cosby is sending these?

Lazer:
Bill Cosby? I doubt it. You're not that important.

Blunton:
I'm not what?

Rashad:
Why are you reading my book Emily?

Emily:
I know you get all... whatever about your books but... I was getting curious about the brown paper covered ones.

Rashad:
I protect them with the brown paper. Haven't you ever done that?

Emily:
Yeah, like in elementary school.

Emily:
You're reading Noam Chomsky? I was expecting it to be Nelson Mandela or something.

Lazer:
I need that. Those f***ers in there got my balls in a bear trap.

Rashad:
Sounds like they're just taking over for Emily tonight.

Lazer:
Emily? She hates them, flat leaving me for a preferable night at her dentist to get a root canal.

Niema:
Look, forget all that cleaning stuff. You must pay rent. Four hundred a month.

Rashad:
Fo' hun'ed?

Niema:
I'm sorry. I meant six hundred.