Project ALF

ALF:
[strapped into an electric chair] I take it this isn't the word association test.

Dr. Warner:
No, no. We're going to conduct a different test.

ALF:
I'm not sure I like the word 'conduct'. [looks at a High Voltage sign]

Dr. Warner:
Oh, pay no attention to that sign, it shouldn't even be there. I'll remove it if it bothers you.

ALF:
It bothers me. [Warner gets electrocuted when trying to remove the sign and falls over as he begins to sizzle on the floor] Medic. Medic.

Dr. Stanley:
Let's try some word association. I'll say a word and you say whatever pops into your mind.

ALF:
Food.

Dr. Stanley:
I haven't said anything yet.

ALF:
Nothing interesting, at least.

Dr. Stanley:
Sit.

ALF:
I am sitting.

Dr. Stanley:
No, that's the first word: sit.

ALF:
Oh, um... food.

Dr. Stanley:
Sunrise.

ALF:
Breakfast.

Dr. Stanley:
Square.

ALF:
Meal.

Dr. Stanley:
Left.

ALF:
Overs.

Dr. Stanley:
Should we stop and get you something to eat.

ALF:
I could use a little snack.

[some time after Dr. Warner was electrocuted]

Dr. Newman:
Hello, Alf, I'm Dr. Newman.

ALF:
No need to ask who you're replacing.

Dr. Newman:
We're going to try a little game called numeric sequencing.

ALF:
Does involve electric shock?

Dr. Newman:
Absolutely not.

ALF:
Forgive me if I'm still paranoid, there's still a silhouette burned into the linoleum.

ALF:
I'm a bit curious about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy here in the military.

Dr. Carnage:
What about it?

ALF:
Well it assume it's worked to you advantage.

Dr. Carnage:
[to the camera] Stop the tape.

ALF:
[Rick is angrily venting his contempt for Dexter Moyers] Rick, I've never seen you like this.

Dr. Mullican:
Nah, I just don't like the guy, is all.

ALF:
No, I mean from this angle... and I thought I had a lot of nose hair.