Punch-Drunk Love

Barry:
I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

Barry:
At that restaurant, I beat up the bathroom. I'm sorry.

Lena:
Oh... I'm sorry... was that like a secret pudding?

Barry:
Pudding...

Barry:
Ummm, let's just... keep it between you and I, if that's possible.

Lena:
Sure, Sure...

Barry:
Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together and put this promotion: If you buy any 10 Healthy Choice products, they will reward you with 500 frequent flier miles; with this special coupon, they'll up it to 1,000 miles. So, I think they are trying to push their teriyaki chicken which is $1.79, but I went to the supermarket and I looked around and I saw that they had pudding... for 25¢ a cup... comes in packages of four. But insanely... the barcodes... are on the individual cups! So, quarter a cup, say you bought $2.50 worth. That's worth 500... with the coupon it's 1,000 miles. It's a marketing mistake but I'm taking advantage of it. If you were to spend $3,000, that would get you a million frequent flier miles. You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life.

Lena:
You... you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flier miles?

Barry:
I would say that's that, mattress man.

Barry:
I know... yes...

Lena:
That's insane.

Barry:
I'm guessing it was a mistake... but... I'm taking advantage of it while it's offered. Who knows how long it'll last...

Barry:
too many people start doing it...

Barry:
I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna f***in' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty.

Lena:
I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.

Barry:
OK. This is funny. This is nice.

Barry:
Teryaki chicken. Tery... aki chicken. Soup? Soup... soup... Chicken noodle...? Cookies. Pudding. PUDDING!

Barry:
This really looks like Hawaii.

Dean Trumbell:
Shut up! SHUT THE F*** UP! Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, SHUT UP! Are you threatening me?

Barry:
Umm... yeah.

Dean Trumbell:
That wasn't good. You're dead.

Barry:
Well bye-bye, then... you stupid mother f***er...

Barry:
I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.

Barry:
Is this confidential?

Barry:
I don't know if there is anything wrong because I don't know how other people are.

Barry:
You can go to places in the world with pudding. That's funny.

Barry:
I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me?

Walter:
Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could give you?

Lena:
People are just crazy in this world, I think.

Lance:
The chair broke!

Anna:
You strokin' yet?