Ride Along

James Payton:
You want to marry my sister? Show me you're worthy of her. And prove to me you got what it takes.

Ben Barber:
How do you want me to do that? I don't get it.

James Payton:
Tomorrow, I'm going to take you on a ride-along. You can show me what kind of man you're made of. And prove to me that you deserve somebody as special as Angela.

Ben Barber:
Hell yeah.

Ben Barber:
[breaking up a fight] Hey! You're white! You're white! You don't fight.

James Payton:
I tried to help you! You came to me and said, give me a date and show me what you got. I gave you a date. It's not good enough. So the answer to your question is, no. I do not give you my blessing.

Ben Barber:
I don't need your blessing. This ain't Afghanistan. I'm not about to buy her with a goat. That girl loves me, man. That girl all of this. Breathe it in, 'cause it's in your face. I'm taking care of her, not you.

James Payton:
You?

Ben Barber:
Me.

James Payton:
You can't even take care of yourself. You wouldn't last one day out here.

[Criminals break into a stripper club]

Ben Barber:
Man, you got to be kidding me! You gonna pull out a gun, when you're looking at this?

[points at a well-endowed stripper]

James Payton:
How you know about Omar?

Ben Barber:
I overheard you guys talking at the station. So, what's this Omar guy look like? Does he have a scar and everything?

[listening to Ben and his girlfriend over his headphones]

Assface23:
Uh, dude, turn your mic off. This is awkward.

Male Gamer:
Is that why you call yourself the Black Hammer? I thought it had something to do with Thor from Avengers.

James Payton:
[to Angela] I picture you with somebody with a little more prestige. Somebody who plays for the Falcons or the Braves, or the even the Hawks. Not with the mascot.

James Payton:
Aw, damn, it's Sir Scream-a-Lot.

Ben Barber:
I was responding to a hostile situation, James. I have no shame in that. You call for backup when there's a hostile situation.

James Payton:
That wasn't calling for backup. That was a high-pitched scream, and you pushed my sister in the way.

Ben Barber:
I pushed your sister out of harm's way. You shined the light at us, James.

James Payton:
Got a little kick to it.

Ben Barber:
Oh, sh*t! My stomach in my ass.

James Payton:
Oh, yeah, you're ready for the streets.

Ben Barber:
This gun should be banned.

Ben Barber:
What, you think I'm gonna become a cop so I can get myself killed? Leave her by herself?

James Payton:
This conversation is over. Get in the car.

Ben Barber:
This is your problem, man. That's why you don't have no damn partner. Because you're walking here by yourself and don't trust nobody. Eventually, you're gonna have to trust somebody, James.

James Payton:
I'd never trust you, man. I'd never trust you with my life. And my family's life? Can you comprehend that?

Ben Barber:
You don't even know why you don't like me. Tell me why? You don't why. Because you don't know me, James.

James Payton:
I know who you are. You that clown always trying talk yourself out every situation. No matter how deep you in, that's a bad character trait for a cop.

Ben Barber:
I got him to talk though, didn't I?

James Payton:
Yeah, you got a very interesting interrogation voice. Nice and screechy.

James Payton:
So, you Omar! Damn, man! You ain't what I pictured. You ain't nothing but a black dude. Probably from Decatur.