Rock Star

Chris:
You're gay?

Bobby:
No, I got both my nipples pierced and bought a house in Morocco because I'm John f***ing Wayne!

Chris:
I don't want to be in some cut-rate cover band that butchers the music the people come to hear, just so you can play your crappy originals!

Rob:
Crappy originals? I think "Hole and a half" kicks ass, and I'm proud as sh*t to have written it.

Chris:
Yeah? I guess that's why we get so many requests for it.

Chris:
Well yeah Rob, maybe you can write me a song about why the hell I would ever want to do that!

Rob:
Bradley's our new front man.

Chris:
You've made your point...now, get him...out.

Rob:
See this? This is the new PA he brought with him. Oh and that...that's the mixing board he brought with him too.

Chris:
Have you heard the voice he's brought with him?

Bradley:
Maybe you can make me some pants like his...or did your girlfriend already rip out the seats in the Dodge?

Emily:
Oh no no...I could make you a pair of those. But first you gotta tell me what you shove in there to make people think you're a guy.

Joe:
Isn't the rock star fantasy thing something you're supposed to grow out of...like around 14?

Chris:
Oh, maybe if I get really lucky, I'll get to grow up and listen to Air Supply and wear jack boots.

Joe:
What's wrong with Air Supply?

Chris:
Nothing, if you're the cop from the Village People.

Chris:
We are NOT a cover band, we're a TRIBUTE band!

Rob:
No Dude, WE are a cover band! Problem is, we've been covering the tunes, you think you're in goddamn Steel Dragon...I love you man but you're mental, you really are. You need to get a grip on reality, man, you don't know where Bobby Beers ends and you begin.

Rob:
Wouldn't you rather fail as yourself, then succeed as some Bobby Beers clone?

Ricki:
Dude, do I have too much foundation on?

Rob:
Dude, I just keep putting this sh*t on until I want to f*** myself!

Chris:
You know, I'm just a regular guy who grew up with the posters of these guys on my wall...and now I'm one of them! That's right, I'm standing here, living proof that if you work hard enough, and you want it bad enough..dreams do come true. So follow your dreams....

Emily:
Rob, I'm a business woman, and rule number one in this business is you go where the talent is...and all the f***ing talent that was in this band has just left the room!