Room 101

[On things he wanted to get rid of but that didn't make his top list]

David Baddiel:
Yeah people who drink tea and then go "Ahhhh". I mean, it's tea not a blowj*b.

Paul Merton:
[to previous host Nick Hancock] Are you familiar with the concept of Room 101?

[Paul reveals that Boris was born in New York]

Paul Merton:
You've lost the accent remarkably well.

Boris Johnson:
I was born in New York because I wanted to be near my mother.

[Paul hands Boris a Chinese Century egg]

Boris Johnson:
Has this been passed by Health and Safety?

Paul Merton:
More times then you'd care to mention.

[Paul brings out a standard egg, which has started to go off]

Paul Merton:
Shall I break this egg open, then?

Boris Johnson:
What's in there?

Paul Merton:
Well, what do you *thinks* in there?

[Boris wants Lynda Lee Potter put into Room 101, but Paul is reluctant]

Boris Johnson:
You want to rescue her?

Paul Merton:
Yeah, she's not going in, so, um, she's not going in.

Boris Johnson:
You're a coward. I think you're frightened of her.

Paul Merton:
Well, she's going in, then. In she goes.

Paul Merton:
Not many people do eat backside of chicken, to be honest. Not even in KFC - not even if you get the bargain bucket. Not much of a bargain - it's somewhere to dip your fingers, I suppose.

[the audience laugh]

Paul Merton:
As if you don't.

Paul Merton:
[on Michael's school] We looked it up - it was a convent.

Michael Gambon:
Yes, it was. I was the only boy there.