Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead

Player:
Events must play themselves out to aesthetic, moral and logical conclusion.

Guildenstern:
And what's that, in this case?

Player:
It never varies — we aim at the point where everyone who is marked for death dies.

Guildenstern:
Marked?

Player:
Between "just desserts" and "tragic irony" we are given quite a large scope for our particular talent. Generally speaking, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go when things have gotten about as bad as they can reasonably get.

Guildenstern:
Who decides?

Player:
Decides? It is written.

Rosencrantz:
Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?

Guildenstern:
No, no, no... death is not. Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.

Rosencrantz:
I've frequently not been on boats.

Guildenstern:
No, no... what you've been is not on boats.

Rosencrantz:
Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?

Guildenstern:
No.

Rosencrantz:
Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead, for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" Naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out." [bangs on lid] "Hey, you! What's your name? Come out of there!"