Rush Hour 3

Chief Inspector Lee:
If you're half-Chinese, I'm half-black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, isn't it?

Chief Inspector Lee:
The ambassador is my responsibility!

Chief Inspector Lee:
Sorry. I don't know him.

Chief Inspector Lee:
I'm not constipated anymore!

Chief Inspector Lee:
Oh, sh*t.

Chief Inspector Lee:
You're glad we're not in Hong Kong. Phone book is twice as big.

Chief Inspector Lee:
Maybe we should put on a dirty movie. Only $9.95.

Chief Inspector Lee:
My ass still hurts.

Chief Inspector Lee:
[a dog pisses on Carter] Good girl!

Detective James Carter:
For your information, I'm half-Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Garden Massage Parlor in Pico and Bundy. I'm half-Chinese, baby.

Detective James Carter:
In case you missed it, man, people are trying to kill me! I'm covered in sh*t and some French cops whupped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business!

Detective James Carter:
Fine. I'm not your brother.

Detective James Carter:
Lee, I'm in trouble. I need some assistance!

Detective James Carter:
Sister, you tell this piece of S-word that I will personally F-word him up.

Detective James Carter:
I am tryin kill somebuddy, man! Damn!

Detective James Carter:
I wouldn't say nothing. He has me. His brother from another mother.

Detective James Carter:
You Asian! Stop humiliating yourself!

Detective James Carter:
I need a big suite, two beds, two showers, a massage therapist, some new clothes and a case of Old Spice.

Detective James Carter:
Lee. I got a big problem, man. This guy's on steroids. He got a head like Barry Bonds.

Detective James Carter:
Do you know who I am? Detective James Carter, LAPD. My family owns half of Crenshaw Boulevard.

Detective James Carter:
We almost killed your ass! Why you didn't move? I would like for you to meet our dates for tonight, Marsha and Zoe. Fat one's yours.

Detective James Carter:
Sorry, Lee. You can't be black. There's a height requirement.

Detective James Carter:
I don't know what the hell you feedin' him, but he is too damn big!

Detective James Carter:
I'm about slice you up like a giant California Roll! (Grabs a spear nearby).

Detective James Carter:
Holy mother of Jesus! She's a man! I went to second base with a damn Frenchman! It's the Crying Games! I'm Brokeback Carter!! Oh God...

Detective James Carter:
(after beating Kenji's men) Everybody was kung-fu fightin! That man was fast as li-Soo-Yung!

Detective James Carter:
I don't know what you been feedin' him, but he is TOO DAMN BIG!

Detective James Carter:
[holding a gun to a goon's ass] Don't move or I'll blow your asscheeks off!

Detective James Carter:
[to Jasmine after thinking that she and Lee were having sex instead of fighting] You are a Superfreak!

Detective James Carter:
[catches a woman who falls while they escape from the Triad club] Do you have a boyfriend?

Detective James Carter:
[Lee sword-fights Kenji] Lee, he might be your brother but turn him into your sister!

Carter:
For your information, I'm half-Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Garden Massage Parlor in Pico and Bundy. I'm half-Chinese, baby.

Lee:
If you're half-Chinese, I'm half-black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, isn't it?

Carter:
Sorry, Lee. You can't be black. There's a height requirement.

Carter:
You know what I think? I think you feel sorry for this guy. Maybe Kenji didn't get away in L.A. Maybe you let him go.

Lee:
The Yakuza killed his family in Tokyo. He was sent to China when he was seven. He was put in Chenzou, the orphanage where I grew up. We kept each other alive.

Carter:
You protected each other and you still protecting him.

Lee:
I called him Xiong Di. He was like my brother. And then, I left him.

Carter:
You were adopted. What choice did you have?

Lee:
He ended up on the streets. You could never understand.

Carter:
I understand. I got a brother, too. My little brother, Perry. We used to be best friends. Now we don't even speak. He thinks I tipped off the cops about the chicken fights in his garage. Can you believe that? My own brother think I'm a snitch. Just because my chicken lost in the semifinals. I didn't even really care.

Lee:
Carter.

Carter:
He had to fight a chicken that didn't make his weight. And he still went the distance. He had a lot of heart. And he was delicious.

Lee:
It's best if I do this on my own. This fight's personal.

Carter:
Look, I'm-a help you, man. And I'm-a tell you right now. Whatever Kenji's trying to tell you, it ain't true. He ain't your brother.

Lee:
And you're not my brother.

Carter:
Fine. I'm not your brother.

Yu:
May I help you?

Carter:
We'll be askin' the questions, old man. Who are you?

Yu:
Yu.

Carter:
No, not me, you.

Yu:
Yes, I am Yu.

Carter:
Just answer the damn questions, who are you?

Yu:
I have told you Yu.

Carter:
Are you deaf?

Yu:
No, Yu is blind.

Carter:
I'm not blind, you blind.

Yu:
That is what I just said.

Carter:
You just said what?

Yu:
I did not say what, I said Yu!

Carter:
That's what I'm askin' you!

Yu:
And Yu is answering!

Carter:
Shut up! (turns to personnel) You!

Yu:
Yes?

Carter:
Not you, him! (to personnel) What's yo' name?

Mi:
Mi.

Carter:
Yes, YOU!

Mi:
I am Mi!

Yu:
He is Mi, and I am Yu.

Carter:
And I'm about to whoop your old ass, man, 'cause I'm sick of playin' games! (points to everyone in the room) You, me, everybody's ass around here! (points to tall student) Him--I'm-a kick his ass, I'm sick of this!

Detective James Carter:
(to Lee, as they ride the elevator to their rooms) It's all your fault. How come you didn't tell me about Kenji?

Chief Inspector Lee:
(clearly upset) That was none of your business.

Detective James Carter:
In cased you missed it, man; people are trying to kill me! I'me covered in sh*t and some French cop whooped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business.

Chief Inspector Lee:
You lucky we're not in Hong Kong. Phone book twice as big.

Detective James Carter:
Why didn't you tell me you had a brother, man?

Detective James Carter:
(after Det. Revi kisses him cheek to cheek) Hey man! You touch me again, you gonna owe me dinner and movie.

Detective Revi:
Congratulations! It appears we have finally brought down the Triad.

Chief Inspector Lee:
(total disbelief) We?

Detective James Carter:
You didn't do sh*t!

Chief Inspector Lee:
My butt still hurts!

Detective Revi:
(winking at Lee) The Americans and the French need to work together in the spirit of brotherhood. Together, we can do anything. Anything!

Detective James Carter:
He's right, Lee. Together we can do anything. I'll go this way...

Chief Inspector Lee:
And I'll go that way.

Woman 1:
This is bullshit! do you know who I am? My family owns half of Rodeo Drive!

Carter:
Do you know who I am? Detective James Carter L.A.P.D. My family owns half of Crenshaw Boulevard.

Woman #2:
I want a lawyer.

Carter:
You need a personal trainer. This license says 180 pounds, you weigh more than that damn car girl.

Woman #2:
I have a thyroid condition.

Carter:
Well stop eating thyroids!

Woman #1:
Look, can't you just like give us a warning or something?

Carter:
That depends, you girls like chinese?

Carter:
Oh?

Lee & Carter:
Sh*t!

Carter:
I'm going to kill you Lee!

Carter:
You're messed up in some weird sh*t, lady. I mean man, Whatever the hell you are.

Genevieve:
I am a woman!

Detective James Carter:

(after an argument)

After all we've been through? Rush Hour 1? Rush Hour 2?

Chief Inspector Lee:
And you're not my brother

Detective James Carter:
[mouths] I'm dead?

Detective James Carter:
I'm coming, Soo-Yung! [looks down from the Eiffel Tower] Oh, my God! What the hell am I doing up here?