Safe in Hell

Gen. Emmanuel Jesus Maria Gomez:
What are those things you're always eating? I don't like them.

Crunch:
Nuts! [spits out big chunks on the floor]

Lawyer Jones:
Why don't you swallow them, shells and all?

Crunch:
Them's ain't shells I'm spittin' out... them's worms!

Gen. Emmanuel Jesus Maria Gomez:
[Egan has just grabbed a live hen off the hotel floor] May I ask you, Se?or, what your intentions are for the chicken?

Lawyer Jones:
Honorable, I hope.

Egan:
None of your business! And that goes for ALL of you mugs! [they all laugh mockingly]

Lawyer Jones:
[Mr. Bruno, the island's executioner, has just joined them] How's tricks?

Mr. Bruno - the Hangman:
There are no tricks in my business. When a man hangs... he hangs.

Lawyer Jones:
What a satisfactory way to get rid of one's enemies.

Mr. Bruno - the Hangman:
I *have* no enemies.

Gen. Emmanuel Jesus Maria Gomez:
No "living" enemies, eh, Se?or?

Mr. Bruno - the Hangman:
As jailer and executioner of this island, I may not be popular with the criminal element. But my activities are confined to island crime. While we do not believe in the international law of extradition, our own laws are very strict. But as long as you behave yourselves here, you are safe from both jail and gallows... "safe in hell."

Gen. Emmanuel Jesus Maria Gomez:
May I introduce myself? I am General Emmanuel Jesus Maria Gomez. I have had the honor of instigating three successful revolutions, and annihilating three *stupid* presidents.

Gilda Carlson - aka Gilda Erickson:
[gives him an unimpressed look] Ain't you lucky?

Gilda Carlson - aka Gilda Erickson:
What's dear old grandpa doing in this gang?

Larson:
I... I burned my ship. Unfortunately, the passengers and the crew were either drowned, or roasted to death. Well, I and the cook - we managed to save ourselves. He... he met with a little accident afterwards. I collected the insurance for my boat - eighty thousand dollars - and I hope to live happily ever after.

Gilda Carlson - aka Gilda Erickson:
[as she puts her wine glass to her lips] Amen.