Saturday Night Live: The Best of Adam Sandler

Kevin Nealon:
Now someone told me you guzzled 32 beers in some beer guzzling contest. What happened after that?

Cajun Man:
HallucinaSHON.

Kevin Nealon:
Who did you see?

Cajun Man:
SaTON.

Kevin Nealon:
Anyone with him?

Cajun Man:
Jim MorriSON.

Kevin Nealon:
Wow. How'd you deal with that?

Cajun Man:
DefficaSHON.

Herlihy Boy:
Let me move in with you. Please. When you get back, don't make me leave. I'll push all my things into the corner. You won't even notice me. Please? Let me move in with you?

Kevin Nealon:
Now, you also judge a wet T-shirt contest. What made you decide on the winner?

Cajun Man:
MelON.

Kevin Nealon:
Did you have any luck with her?

Cajun Man:
RejectSHON.

Kevin Nealon:
That's too bad.

Cajun Man:
LesbiON.

Kevin Nealon:
How did you know that?

Cajun Man:
IntuiSHON.

Kevin Nealon:
Cajun Man, what's the matter?

Cajun Man:
DepresSHON.

Kevin Nealon:
Don't worry, Cajun Man, there's plenty of other women out there. You'll find someone.

Cajun Man:
The Love ConnecSHON?

Kevin Nealon:
Well thanks for coming, Cajun Man, you want to say hello to someone?

Cajun Man:
John GoodMON.

Kevin Nealon:
Now Cajun Man, when you're down on Daytona Beach alot, how's your body looking?

Cajun Man:
DefiniSHON.

Kevin Nealon:
How do you stay thin?

Cajun Man:
MetaboliSOM.

Kevin Nealon:
Cajun Man!

Cajun Man:
LibosucSHON.

Opera Man:
La Cheifa policia, no dispatcha gandam, morondo, no respondo, no excusa, bagga doucca!

Opera Man:
Amy Fisher. Buddafuco. El narc-o, el shoot-o, In jail-o. No bail-o. Senora, you're a whor-a!

Opera Man:
Mascara, Mascara, La Donne Mobile Home, La Donne Mobile Home, D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

Opera Man:
Fergia, Fergia, Nippola, Nippola, Nippola, Nippola, Cantalopes, el petrudo, Opera Man grande stiffo, Bye Bye!!

Canteen Boy's Nemesis:
Hey Canteen Boy, I got a real scary ghost story. Once upon a time there was a moron, who always had a stupid canteen wrapped around his neck.

Canteen Boy:
I think I've heard this tale before.

Canteen Boy's Nemesis:
It was a dark and stormy night, and this moron went into the woods, and a huge bear came up and ripped his head off, just because he looked so stupid! The End!

Canteen Boy:
Hoo, Hoo to you. He, Owl, if you're so wise, why don't you go to sleep, it's the middle of the night!

Denise:
Why can't you get it? It's over! You and me are over. Face reality! We're not a couple! Move on with your life!

Denise:
No!