Scener ur ett äktenskap

Marianne:
Sometimes it's like husband and wife are talking on telephones that are out of order.

Johan:
You need to put a lot of effort into not caring.

Marianne:
We're pitiful, self-indulgent cowards that can't connect with reality and are ashamed of ourselves.

Johan:
Affection shouldn't be kept just for vacations.

Marianne:
Sometimes it's like husband and wife are talking on telephones that are out of order.

Johan:
You need to put a lot of effort into not caring.

Marianne:
We're pitiful, self-indulgent cowards that can't connect with reality and are ashamed of ourselves.

Johan:
Affection shouldn't be kept just for vacations.

Johan:
We're emotional illiterates. We've been taught about anatomy and farming methods in Africa. We've learned mathematical formulas by heart. But we haven't been taught a thing about our souls. We're tremendously ignorant about what makes people tick.

Marianne:
Sometimes it grieves me that I have never loved anyone. I don't think I've ever been loved either. It really distresses me.

Johan:
I don't know what my love looks like, and I can't describe it. Most of the time I can't feel it.

Marianne:
Are we living in utter confusion?

Johan:
You and I?

Marianne:
No, all of us.

Johan:
What do you mean?

Marianne:
I'm talking about fear, uncertainty and ignorance.Do you think that secretly we're afraid we're slipping downhill and don't know what to do?

Johan:
Yes, I think so.

Marianne:
Is it too late?

Johan:
Yes. But we shouldn't say things like that. Only think them.

Marianne:
Have we missed something important?

Johan:
All of us?

Marianne:
Yes...

Marianne:
I felt inadequate at work and at home, and I was a washout in bed too. I was hedged in by all the griping and endless demands! Goddamn you! Was it so strange that I used sex for leverage? I was outnumbered, having to fight you, both sets of parents and society! When I think about what I endured, I could scream! I tell you this: never again! You sit there whining about conspiracies. Well, it serves you right! I hope you'll have it rammed down your throat that you're a useless parasite.

Johan:
You're being utterly grotesque!

Marianne:
So what? That's what I've become!

Marianne:
Sometimes you ask such goddamn silly questions.

Johan:
Sorry. Are you angry with me?

Marianne:
I'm not angry, but I'm on the verge of tears. The trouble with me is that I can't get angry. I wish that for once in my life I could really lose my temper, as I sometimes feel I have every right to. I think it would change my life. But that's not the point. You spoke earlier about loneliness. That bit about being strong on your own. I don't believe in your gospel of isolation.I think it's a sign of weakness.

Johan:
What's wrong, Marianne?

Marianne:
It's so... humbling.

Johan:
What's humbling?

Marianne:
I think about you... and I think about myself and about the future. I can't see how you're going to cope without me. Sometimes I think in desperation, "I must look after Johan. He's my responsibility. It's up to me to make sure he's all right. That's the only our lives will be worthwhile."

Marianne:
I don't believe people are strong all on their own. You have to have someone's hand to hold.

Johan:
I want something to long for.

Marianne:
I don't feel the same way.

Johan:
I realize that.

Johan:
I'll describe my take on security. The way I see it... loneliness is absolute. Anything else is an illusion. Never expect anything but trouble. If something nice happens, all the better. Just don't imagine you can do away with loneliness. A sense of togetherness can be created in, say, religion, politics, love, art. But loneliness is still all-encompassing. The treacherous part is that every once in a while you're struck by an illusion of togetherness. Just remember that it is an illusion. That makes it easier when everything returns to normal. You have to face the fact that loneliness reigns supreme. It puts an end to your moaning. Then you feel safe and secure. And you learn to accept how pointless it all is with a certain satisfaction. I don't mean you should be resigned. You should carry on as best you can, if only because it's better to do your best than to give up.