Sesame Street, Special

Kermit the Frog:
Uh, public affairs and news? McNeill-Lehrer? Bill Moyers?

Oscar the Grouch:
Not my cup of mud.

Oscar the Grouch:
[on Pledge Drives] Now that was television! Why can't they do shows like that more often? Well it doesn't matter 'cause I taped it and now I can watch it any time I want. I'm a lucky grouch.

[Grover has just accidentally spilled food he was serving again]

Restaurant Customer:
Oh I don't believe this. Look here, I'm very hungry. Do you think there is any chance you could bring me a Numero Dos without dropping it on the floor?

Grover Monster:
Where there is life, there is hope.

Restaurant Customer:
Just bring me a Numero Dos.

Restaurant Customer:
Wait, wait, just hold it. Just hold it right there. If you're gonna start dancing again, just put the tray DOWN so you don't spill it please!

Grover Monster:
Why, sir, what a spiffy idea. Uh... I'll put it down here beside the Tres and Quatro so it will not be too lonely.

Restaurant Customer:
Fine.

Robert McNeill:
Until now Mr. Cookie Monster refused to talk about the matter because his mouth was full and it's not polite to talk with your mouth full.

Bob:
Could you give me a good tip?

Martina Navratilova:
Yeah I'll give you a real good one: stick to singing.

Hoots the Owl:
Ernie! Ernie my man!

Ernie:
Oh, hi there, Hoots.

Hoots the Owl:
Oh, dig it. I need your help.

Ernie:
Oh sure. What can I do for you?

Hoots the Owl:
Well, every time I try to squeak my rubber duckie, I got a funny sound. Watch. [He squeaks his duck- and plays a few notes on his sax] See what I mean?

Ernie:
Uh, well listen, Hoots. You've gotta put down the saxaphone if you want to squeak your duckie.

Hoots the Owl:
[suddenly realizing] Heh, heh, heh. Oh boy.

Cookie Monster:
Me not *take* cookies, me *eat* the cookies.

Robert McNeill:
What's the difference?

Cookie Monster:
Eat begin with an E and take... Begin with a T.

Bob:
[about his torn sweater] Look at me, this is terrible!

Ralph Nader:
I know. Your aunt Mertyl knitted you a lemon.

Bob:
I understand you're the guy with the great memory right?

Ralph Nader:
Great memory?

Bob:
Yeah I understand you have total recall.

Ralph Nader:
I'd like to recall that joke.

Ernie:
Rubber Duckie here would like to say something.

[Begins squeaking it and Phil Donahue turns away]

Uncle Wally:
Phil, I think we should hear what the duckie has to say.

Bob:
But Uncle Wally, the duck doesn't say anything, he just squeaks.

Uncle Wally:
Then I say let the duckie squeak.

David:
Hey Phil! Listen Phil! I happen to agree with Uncle Wally, I mean everyone has the right to speak or squeak, whatever, you know what I say? I say let the duckie squeak! Okay? Let the duckie squeak! Just *let* the *duckie* *squeak*!

Barbara Walters:
Thank you, Bob, but perhaps you'll stop singing long enough so that we may ask you something we're all very curious about.

Bob:
Oh sure, what do you want to know about?

Barbara Walters:
Well everyone knows that you and Linda have been keeping company for sometime now and what we want to know is, 1. Where the relationship is going and 2. Do you have any future plans?

Bob:
I'm glad you asked because Linda and I are making plans. You see, tomorrow Linda and I are going for a walk in the park. Then after that we're going back to her place for a great game of checkers. And those are our plans.

Barbara Walters:
Well thank you for sharing that with us, [turns to us] and remember, you heard it here first.

Kermit the Frog:
Hi ho there. This is Kermit the Frog and I'm here to find out why Oscar the Grouch likes public television.

Oscar the Grouch:
I don't like public television!

Kermit the Frog:
How about live concerts?

Oscar the Grouch:
I prefer recorded concerts on badly scratched records.

Kermit the Frog:
How about movie classics in the original black and white without interruptions?

Oscar the Grouch:
I prefer colorized versions with lots and lots of commercial interruptions!

Phil Donahue:
This is Sesame Street. A place where people, birds, monsters all live in perfect harmony.

Cookie Monster:
"The 39 Stairs", made by guy named Alfred.

Phil Donahue:
I've got to go sort out my sock drawer. See ya.

Count:
I love counting socks! Wait for me! [climbs into Oscar's taxi] Follow that controversial talk show host!

Grover Monster:
[singing] Granada! Granada Cadiz Sevilla, where butter is called mantequilla / You're treated so fine, when you come in to dine / I'm always delighted to see ya. Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!

Grover Monster:
Here you are, sir, the specialty of the house.

Restaurant Customer:
At last.

Grover Monster:
Numero Uno... [takes lid off tray to reveal the Number One surrounded by French fries] The number one.

Restaurant Customer:
Oh no!

Grover Monster:
Bon appetito. That is Spanish for "enjoy" [customer falls over in his chair and faints]

Luis:
My, what a little picture. I would definitely say that is a tiny picture.

Maria:
Really? I'd say it was itsy bitsy myself. [they walk to a larger picture] THAT is an enormous picture. Why I'd say it was humgous.

Luis:
Well I would say it's tremendous. I might even call it stupendous.

Maria:
You would!

Luis:
Just look at *this*. Isn't it fantastic?

Maria:
No it isn't, it's terrific.

Luis:
Fantastic.

Maria:
Terrific.

Luis:
Fantastic!

Maria:
Terrific!

Gordon:
[singing] Can't you see that you both agree / What's the reason for this spat?

Susan:
[singing] You like to say things this way / And you like to say things that.

Telly Monster:
[singing] What a shame / It all means the same / There's no need to make a scene.

Elmo:
[singing] There are lot's of ways to say the very same thing / If you know what I mean / SO...