Signs

Bo:
There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?

Merrill:
It's like War of the Worlds.

Graham Hess:
Don't be afraid.

Graham Hess:
We don't have his medicine. Don't be afraid, Morgan. We'll slow this down together. Feel my chest. Feel it moving in and out. Breathe like me. Breathe like me. Come on.

Bo:
I dreamed this.

Graham Hess:
Stay with me. I know it hurts. Be strong baby. It'll pass. It'll pass.

Graham Hess:
Don't do this to me again. Not again. I hate you. I hate you! The fear is feeding him. Don't be afraid of what's happening. Believe it's going to pass. Believe it. Just wait. Don't be afraid. The air is coming. Believe. We don't have to be afraid. It's about to pass. Here it comes. Don't be afraid. Here comes the air. Don't be afraid, Morgan. Feel my chest. Breathe with me. Together. The air is going in our lungs. Together. We're the same. We're the same.

Merrill:
We should save the flashlights.

Officer Caroline:
What kind of a machine bends a stalk of corn without breaking it?

Graham Hess:
It can't be by hand, it's too perfect.

Graham Hess:
Isabel, you are going to feel very silly when this turns out to be make-believe.

Graham Hess:
People break down into two groups when the experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in Group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation isn't fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in the Group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?

Graham Hess:
You're scaring your sister.

Bo:
I'm already scared.

Graham Hess:
Swing away Merrill. Merrill... swing away.

Colleen:
Tell Morgan to play games.

Graham Hess:
I will.

Colleen:
It's okay to be silly... Tell Bo to listen to her brother. He'll always take care of her.

Graham Hess:
I will.

Colleen:
Tell Graham...

Graham Hess:
I'm here.

Colleen:
Tell Graham... to see. Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away.

Graham Hess:
Aaah. I am insane with anger.

Merrill:
We're gonna beat your ass, b*tch. We're gonna tear your head off.

Graham Hess:
I'm losing my mind. It's time for an ass-whooping.

Graham Hess:
Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers are back.

Merrill:
It's time for an ass-whupping.

Graham Hess:
This is not an intelligent way to approach this. Lee is a friend of mine. This is his son.

Merrill:
Yeah, we'll be doing Lee a favor. All right, listen, we both go outside, move around the house in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side.

Graham Hess:
Explain "act crazy".

Merrill:
You know, curse and stuff.

Graham Hess:
You want me to curse?

Merrill:
You don't mean it. It's just for show. What?

Graham Hess:
Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.

Merrill:
Just make noises, then.

Graham Hess:
Explain "noises".

Merrill:
Are you gonna do this or what?

Graham Hess:
No, I'm not.

Merrill:
All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time?

Merrill:
On the count of three. One...

Graham Hess:
All right.

Merrill:
two... three!

Graham Hess:
Ahh! I'm insane with anger!

Merrill:
We're gonna beat your ass b*tch! We're gonna tear your head off!

Graham Hess:
I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!

Graham Hess:
I cursed.

Merrill:
I heard.

Merrill:
How did he get... Are you sure this is Lionel Prichard?

Graham Hess:
It's happening.

Merrill:
Move, children. Vamanos.

Bo:
It tastes funny.

Morgan:
It does not. It's just tap water. Besides, he licks his butt every day, I don't think he'll mind.

Graham Hess:
Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Merrill:
The nerds were right.

Bo:
My ballet recital!

Morgan:
Listen, Bo. This is very important. Everything people have written about in science books is going to change. The history of the world's future is on the TV right now. We need to record this so you can show YOUR children this tape and say YOU were there. For your children, Bo.

Bo:
My ballet recital!

Merrill:
Hey, you guys okay?

Morgan:
Some guy had a sign saying it was the end of the world.

Merrill:
Don't worry.

Morgan:
You won't let anything happen to us, right?

Merrill:
No way.

Morgan:
I wish you were my dad.

Merrill:
What did you say? Don't you ever say anything like that again. Ever!

Merrill:
This is exactly what the nerds want...

Merrill:
Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again.

Graham Hess:
Its just static, Morgan. Frequency.

Morgan:
It's a code.

Bo:
Why can't they get girlfriends?

Morgan:
I think God did it.

Graham Hess:
That's why he had asthma. It can't be luck. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. No poison got in. No poison got in. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed.

Graham Hess:
Don't touch him. Give him a minute.

Merrill:
Graham...

Graham Hess:
Give him a second.

Bo:
Daddy...

Graham Hess:
Don't touch him.

Merrill:
Graham...

Graham Hess:
Don't... Don't.

Morgan:
Dad? What happened? Did someone save me?

Graham Hess:
Yeah, baby, I think someone did.

Graham Hess:
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.

Merrill:
You'll lose the signal.

Morgan:
It's not contaminated, you don't even know what that word means.

Ray Reddy:
Don't open my pantry, Father. I found one of them in there; I locked 'em in.

Graham Hess:
I can't be sure, but I got the distinct feeling that it wanted to harm me.

Tracy Abernathy:
I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'sh*t's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse?

Graham Hess:
I suppose it would depend on the context.

Tracy Abernathy:
How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?

Graham Hess:
It's a curse.

Tracy Abernathy:
Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

Graham Hess:
I don't want any of you spending time with Tracy Abernathy alone. Understand?

Merrill:
Good enough for me.

Graham Hess:
Me too.

Merrill:
I'm a miracle man.

Graham Hess:
There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone.

Graham Hess:
I cursed.

Merrill:
I heard.

Graham Hess:
C'mon, now, you're too old to be doing this. What's wrong with this glass of water?

Bo:
It's got dust in it.

Graham Hess:
And this one?

Bo:
A hair.

Graham Hess:
And this one?

Bo:
Morgan took a sip and it's got his amoebas in it.

Graham Hess:
See this is why we're not watching TV, people become obsessed.

Officer Caroline:
Merrill... how's work at the gas station?

Merrill:
Stimulating.

Graham Hess:
That's ridiculous. How can anyone possibly know that information? What else does it say?

Bo:
Are you in my dream too?

Graham Hess:
Caroline. I don't want you calling me 'Father' anymore.

Officer Caroline:
What's wrong?

Graham Hess:
I don't hear my children.

Merrill:
One time, I was at this party... and I was sitting on the couch with Amanda McKinney. She was just sitting there, looking beautiful. So, I lean in to kiss her, and I realize I have gum in my mouth. So, I turn to spit it out and put it in a paper cup. I turn back, and Amanda McKinney throws up all over herself. I knew the moment it happened, it was a miracle. I could have been kissing her when she threw up. It would have scarred me for life. I may never have recovered.

Graham Hess:
You're wasting your time here. I'm not going to report this or anything you do to my crops to the police or news or anybody. You're not going to get famous.

Merrill:
There are many things that I can take. But what I can't take is when my older brother, who's everything that I want to be, starts losing faith in things. I saw that look in your eyes last night. I don't ever want to see that look in your eyes again.

Graham Hess:
What are you thinking about?

Bo:
Why do you talk to Mom when your by yourself?

Graham Hess:
Makes me feel better.

Bo:
Does she ever answer back?

Graham Hess:
No.

Bo:
She never answers me either.

Graham Hess:
We're going to board up every window in this house.

Merrill:
How do you know boards will do anything?

Graham Hess:
Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors.

Graham Hess:
My vote counts as two.

Morgan:
That's bullshit. You're cheating.

Graham Hess:
Morgan, calm down.

Morgan:
We don't know anything yet...

Mr. Nathan:
It's a bunch of crock. They're trying to sell sodas. I've been watching all morning, and I've seen 12 soda commercials. 12.

Morgan:
Do you have any books on extraterrestrials?

Mr. Nathan:
Don't tell me you believe this horse manure.

Mrs. Nathan:
As a matter of fact, I think we do...

Merrill:
Excluding the possibility that a female Scandinavian Olympian was running around outside our house last night, what else could it have been?

Graham Hess:
The police are here. I am with them. I am a police officer. I just want to talk with you. We know all about the hoax. We already took some of your friends downtown in a paddy wagon. Just tell us your name and why you did it, and we'll give you the same deal we gave the others. Don't throw your life away, son.

Morgan:
They said there are one of two outcomes of an invasion. One: they fight, and are defeated, and have to return again with full forces hundreds or even thousands of years later.

Graham Hess:
What's two?

Morgan:
They win.

Caroline:
Old Mrs. Kendleman twisted her ankle, as she puts it, diving for her life when a bunch of school kids rode down the sidewalk on skateboards. She went down to Thornton's store this morning and started spitting on the new skateboards. Spitting! By the time I got there, Mrs. Kendlemen had sprayed the whole damn place. And she must have had a cold or something. I'm telling you, I won't eat for a week. So, what happened to your crops?

SFC Cunningham:
You didn't used to play baseball did ya? Sh*t, I know you. You're Merrill Hess! I was there the day you hit that 507-footer over the left field wall, set the record. Man, that thing had a motor on it. It's still the record right?

Merrill:
Got the bat at home on the wall.

SFC Cunningham:
You've got two minor league home-run records, don't ya?

Merrill:
Five.

SFC Cunningham:
Why weren't you in the pros making stacks of cash and getting your toes licked by beautiful women?

Lionel Prichard:
'Cause he has another record most people don't know about. He has the minor league strikeout record.

Merrill:
Hello Lionel.

Lionel Prichard:
Merrill's a class-A screw up. He would just swing that bat as hard as he could every time. Didn't matter what the coaches said, didn't matter who was on base. He would just whip that bat through the air as hard as he could. Looked like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. Merrill here has more strikeouts than any two players.

SFC Cunningham:
You really got the strikeout record?

Merrill:
Felt wrong not to swing.

Morgan:
If you're gonna make fun of it, then forget it.

Bo:
This is serious.

Graham Hess:
I don't know what got into me.

Morgan:
There are pictures. Dr. Bimbu, one of the authors of the book...

Morgan:
Bimbu?

Morgan:
Dad!

Graham Hess:
I just asked his name.

Morgan:
You had a tone.

Morgan:
Maybe we should say a prayer.

Graham Hess:
No.

Morgan:
Why not?

Graham Hess:
We're not saying a prayer.

Morgan:
Bo has a bad feeling.

Bo:
I had a dream.

Graham Hess:
We aren't saying a prayer. Eat!

Morgan:
I hate you.

Graham Hess:
That's fine.

Morgan:
You let mom die.

Merrill:
Morgan...

Graham Hess:
I am not wasting one more minute of my life on prayer. Not one more minute. Understood?

Graham Hess:
Now we are going to enjoy this meal. No one can stop us from enjoying this meal, so enjoy it! Stop crying!

Merrill:
Graham...

Morgan:
Don't yell at her!

Graham Hess:
All right, since you're all not going to eat, I'm going to try some of everything.

Merrill:
For the kids protection. They were watching the tv from 5 am on. I didn't want them getting obsessed like you said. They should be outside playing furry furry rabbit or tea party or something.

Graham Hess:
What's furry furry rabbit?

Merrill:
It's a game isn't it?

Merrill:
Everything has a weakness.

[Graham and Merrill hear screams and run into the cornfield, where they find Bo standing alone quietly]

Graham:
Bo, where's Morgan? Bo?

Bo:
Are you in my dream, too?

Graham:
This is not a dream.

[Graham finds Morgan]

Graham:
Morgan, are you hurt?

Morgan:
I think God did it.

Graham:
Did what? (Morgan turns his father's head to see their two dogs running around wildly in the center of an enormous crop circle)

[Sitting next to their dog Houdini, Bo samples a glass of water]

Bo:
It's contaminated.

Morgan:
You don't even know what that word means. (Morgan tastes it) It's not contaminated. It's just tap water, pour it in his bowl.

Bo:
It tastes funny.

Morgan:
It does not. Besides, he licks his butt every day. I don't think he'll mind.

[Caroline and Graham examine the crop circle]

Caroline:
Now, what kind of a machine can bend a stalk of corn without breaking it?

Graham:
It can't be by hand, it's too perfect.

Caroline:
Doesn't sound much like Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers. They can't take a piss without wettin' the front of their pants.

Caroline:
Some animals around the county have been acting funny. Some of them violent.

Graham:
Is it a virus?

Caroline:
I don't think so, Father. They were more edgy, more alert. It's almost as if they smell a predator around. Peeing on themselves and everything.

[Graham stands and slowly walks away, lost in thought]

Graham:
Caroline. Please stop calling me Father.

Caroline:
What's wrong?

Graham:
I don't hear my children.

[At night, Graham wakes to find little Bo staring at him]

Graham:
What's the matter?

Bo:
There's a monster outside my room. Can I have a glass of water?

Graham:
What's wrong with the water next to your bed?

Bo:
It tastes old.

[Officer Paski talks to the Hess family about the intruder from last night]

Caroline:
So how are you, Merrill?

Merrill:
Fine.

Caroline:
How's work at the gas station?

Merrill:
[sarcastically] Stimulating.

Caroline:
I never got a chance to tell you, but I thought your moving in here with your brother after... was a nice thing to do.

Merrill:
Well, I don't think I'm helping much.

[Caroline looks at Morgan, then back at Merrill]

Caroline:
You are.

[Graham finds the kids reading the extraterrestrial book, wearing makeshift aluminum-foil helmets]

Morgan:
So the aliens can't read our minds.

Graham:
Oh! Of course.

[Morgan looks through his telescope at the cloudy sky. Bo stands beside him]

Bo:
You don't think something bad will happen. Do you, Morgan?

Morgan:
Why? You have one of your feelings again?

[She nods.]

Morgan:
Is it bad?

[She nods again.]

Morgan:
I won't let anything bad happen to you.

[Bo hugs her brother's arm.]

Bo:
I don't want you to die.

Morgan:
Who said I was gonna die?

[The family retreat to the basement]

Morgan:
We forgot our foil helmets.

Graham:
Have we got anything to wedge against the doorknob?

Morgan:
They'll read our minds.

Graham:
You're scaring your sister.

Bo:
I'm already scared.

[Deleted scene:
Merrill stands on a chair, struggling to hold the attic door shut from underneath as an alien tries to enter]

Merrill:
This is a very temporary solution.

[Graham unsuccessfully looks for something to put in Merrill's place]

Graham:
How temporary?

Merrill:
[straining] Twenty-two seconds!

[Graham flashes back to the night of Colleen's death]

Caroline:
Ray's truck swerved off the road, hit Colleen and then a tree, and she was pinned between the two.

Graham:
What does that mean, pinned?

Caroline:
The truck... the truck has severed most of her lower half.

Graham:
What did you say?

Caroline:
She won't be saved. Her body is pinned in such a way... that it's alive when it shouldn't be alive. The truck is holding her together. Now she doesn't feel much, and she's talking almost like normal. And we didn't pull the truck out, because we wanted you to come down here and be with her as long as she's awake. And that won't be very long. Father, do you understand what I've told you?

Graham:
Caroline. Is this the last time I'm going to speak with my wife?

Caroline:
Yes it is.

Graham:
I know you're making a point here. I just don't know what it is.

Merrill:
[Deleted scene: Merrill stands on a chair, struggling to hold the attic door shut from underneath as an alien tries to enter] This is a very temporary solution!

Merrill:
[The TV news plays a Brazilian video, purporting to have a sighting, in which a bunch of Brazilian children excitedly block the view] Move, children! Vamanos! (the humanoid alien, resembling a decomposed, skeletal corpse, passes through a gap in some bushes a few feet away from the camera) OH!!!