So Haunt Me

Tammy Rokeby:
...and guess who I found in my bedroom? Sweeny Todd snogging squad.

Sally Rokeby:
What?

Tammy Rokeby:
[lifts up video case of 'dirty film'] Oh, you're such a bloody hypocrite! You're at it, the Bill's at it, the whole of flaming Wilson's at it and I can't even have a nice Jewish Doctor up to my bedroom to study.

Peter Rokeby:
[posing in front of the mirror] Before writing the Great Mancunian Novel, Peter Rokeby was an advertising copywriter, he is married with children and lives in a house... somewhere off the North circular. [alters pose] Before writing the Great Mancunian Novel Peter Rokeby was a lumberjack, an Olympic raftsman and a Freedom fighter in Angola... [realises Sally has walked in] I'm just practicing the book jacket.

Sally Rokeby:
Perhaps you should try writing the book.

Peter Rokeby:
Guess who's coming Saturday? Grandma Vi.

David Rokeby:
Bloody hell, that's all I need!

Yetta Feldman:
David! You love Grandma Vi!

David Rokeby:
Can she wrestle? Give me strength.

Tammy Rokeby:
Oh, isn't it nice when someone else round here goes through a stage!

Peter Rokeby:
Well, there's Sally my wife, Tammy, David, Daisy and Mrs. Feldman.

Elsbeth:
Mrs. Feldman?

Peter Rokeby:
She's our pet.

Elsbeth:
Ah.

Peter Rokeby:
Parrot. Call me kind-hearted but we've adopted a Jewish parrot - born talking-trick is to get it to stop.

Dolly Finkel:
She ate all the chopped liver at my brother's wedding!

Yetta Feldman:
It was wartime!

Dolly Finkel:
You could have waited until they finished the ceremony!

Yetta Feldman:
Vi. I'm sorry. I've been a pathetic, bitter, spiteful old woman.

Vi Rokeby:
Well...

Sally Rokeby:
You! Mum, don't listen to here! You're a pathetic bitter old woman!