Soldiers of Fortune

Tim Kelly:
I'm Tim Kelly and this is Tuobo Smith, my partner

Banner:
Williams didn't tell me he was sending me two hunters.

Tim Kelly:
We don't work separately and the price would be the same if I went with you alone or if Tuobo did.

Banner:
Williams said if anybody would take me where I wanted alone it would be Tim Kelly. Probably don't need one hunter - did you see that last shot?

Tim Kelly:
It takes a pretty good eye to hit a running mouse.

[referrring to their hulking employer]

Toubo Smith:
There's something indecent about taking an elephant to hunt an elephant.

Toubo Smith:
You don't like him any better than I do! You don't fool me none.

Tim Kelly:
Why don't you try playing the strong *silent* white hunter this trip, huh?

Banner:
Beauty isn't it? Bought it in London.

Toubo Smith:
Ever shot it?

Banner:
Not yet.

Toubo Smith:
That'll be the day.

Banner:
What do you mean by that?

Toubo Smith:
That'll be the day you know whether you like it.

Banner:
Where's all the hunting? I haven't seen anything.

Tim Kelly:
Well, don't give up on it. We've only been out an hour.

Toubo Smith:
Just hope you see it before it sees you!

[Banner panics and flees when he sees a water buffalo]

Banner:
I'm sorry. I wasn't frightened. It was the surprise. I-I froze up.

Toubo Smith:
You weren't too frozen to run.

[referring to the water buffalo shot by Kelly and Smith]

Toubo Smith:
Say, do you think the natives would take him back up on the hill?

Tim Kelly:
Why?

Banner:
Get the camera, Smith.

Toubo Smith:
Why?

Banner:
I want to restage it. They can drag him up to the top; push him over when I shoot at him.

Tim Kelly:
...Get the camera, Tuobo.

Banner:
Lord, I hate snakes! How did it get in my tent? There's a floor in my tent! How did it get in my tent?

Tim Kelly:
Now take it easy... natives.

Banner:
Nobody knows how I hate snakes.

Tim Kelly:
Well, it's dead now! Get rid of it Tuobo.

Toubo Smith:
Should I get the camera first so we can restage this?

Tim Kelly:
We're in Otambi country. I wouldn't know where their village is located.

Banner:
Take a year to find them in here.

Tim Kelly:
We won't have to find them - they'll find us.

Toubo Smith:
They already have. When you turn, I suggest you turn quiet and peaceful like. And you, Mr. Banner, don't run!

[Kelly makes sign with the Otambi chief]

Banner:
Should have brought a guide who spoke the language.

Toubo Smith:
You *had* a guide that spoke their language - the old Shikara and two or three of the boys. Kelly'll make himself understood, whether it's here or the North Pole. He's telling 'em we want to stay for three days... watch how they live... grow wise from looking at them...

[Kelly and the Otambi chief come to an agreement]

Toubo Smith:
We're in!

Banner:
Good! I'll break out the camera.

Toubo Smith:
I said we're in - we're a long way from out. You leave the camera alone.

Witch Doctor:
You come now.

Toubo Smith:
Well, a linguist!

Banner:
He speaks English!

Witch Doctor:
I go school much long ago. Black robes teach me. Now great magic.

Witch Doctor:
You come now. Gods will smile.

Tim Kelly:
Just remember what I said. When the gods smile, you smile back no matter how you feel inside.

[the Otambi witch doctor forces Kelly and his company to take part in the snake dance ritual]

Tim Kelly:
Banner, whatever you do, don't move. Don't bat an eye. If ever you've controlled that blubbery backbone of yours, do it now!

Banner:
I can't.

Toubo Smith:
Even you're bitten, it'll be better than what they'll do to you.

[In order to stay awake, Kelly and Smith play trivia tic-tac-toe]

Tim Kelly:
Baltimore Orioles.

Toubo Smith:
Oriole Park.

Tim Kelly:
Boston Red Sox.

Toubo Smith:
Fenway Park.

Tim Kelly:
Chicago White Sox

Toubo Smith:
Comiskey Park... I can't stay awake...

[last lines]

Tim Kelly:
I used to have a pet pig on my uncle's farm. A rattlesnake bit him a dozen times - didn't kill him. Did you know that about pigs, Tuobo? It's the fat!

Toubo Smith:
I didn't know that about pigs, but I hope Mr. Banner doesn't want to restage this.