Something's Gotta Give

Harry:
I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.

Erica Barry:
The truth doesn't have versions, okay?

Harry:
Erica, you are a woman to love.

Julian Mercer:
You really are a very sexy woman.

Erica Barry:
No, really, swear to God, I'm NOT.

Harry:
I just have one question: What's with the turtlenecks? I mean it's the middle of summer.

Erica:
Well I guess I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal.

Harry:
You never get hot?

Erica:
No.

Harry:
Never?

Erica:
Not lately.

Harry:
I've never seen a woman that age naked before.

Harry:
Schmucks are people too.

Julian Mercer:
Must we go through this every time? Come here.

Julian Mercer:
The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.

Erica Barry:
I like that about me.

Harry Sanborn:
Me too.

Julian Mercer:
Me too.

Erica Barry:
If I were writing this, this is where I would write "an awkward moment".

Harry Sanborn:
Honey, if you were writing this, I'd be DEAD!

Erica Barry:
You know what, Harry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends.

Harry Sanborn:
Friends? I'm not ready to be your FRIEND!

Erica Barry:
Fine, I understand.

Harry Sanborn:
And anyway, do you really buy that horseshit that a man and a woman can be friends after they've had sex?

Erica Barry:
I'm friends with my ex-husband but then again, we didn't just have sex.

Harry Sanborn:
We didn't just have sex either.

Erica Barry:
Then what was it? I'd love to know.

Harry Sanborn:
Can I email it to ya when I figure it out?

Erica Barry:
I DO like sex!

Harry Sanborn:
You certainly do.

Harry Sanborn:
I love ya.

Erica Barry:
Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'

Harry Sanborn:
You're not like anybody.

Harry Sanborn:
I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.

Erica Barry:
I think I'm mad at you too.

Harry Sanborn:
Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...

Erica Barry:
You... worry about ME?

Harry Sanborn:
Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.

Erica Barry:
Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!

Julian Mercer:
Look who's answering the door!

Harry Sanborn:
Look who's at the door!

Erica Barry:
Wait. You're leaving, Zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. You mean I'm going to be alone in this house... with HIM?

Marin:
Well, the hospital's sending over a nurse first thing in the morning.

Erica Barry:
In the morning? That's like nineteen hours from now!

Erica Barry:
Good. That's very good.

Zoe:
I got you something GREAT at the farmstand...

Erica Barry:
I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great.

Marin:
We know this about me. I'm just not cut out for this kind of drama.

Erica Barry:
I think it's the drama in life that makes you strong.

Marin:
You always say thinks like that!

Harry Sanborn:
I can't get past your damn turtleneck.

Erica Barry:
Cut it off!

Harry Sanborn:
Some people consider rap poetry.

Erica Barry:
C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with b*tch?

Julian Mercer:
I knew you'd smell good.

Erica:
It's just... soap

Erica Barry:
Oh, you f***ing guy!

Julian Mercer:
How great is it for you that im not intimidated by your brilliance?

Marin:
Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.

Zoe:
Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!

Erica Barry:
That's wonderful!

Harry:
Women your age love that about me.

Erica Barry:
Ah.

Harry:
No, that's a good thing.

Erica Barry:
I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.

Harry:
Yes, it was meant as a compliment.

Harry:
Where's Julian?

Erica:
He's back at the hotel. He said when he saw me with you, he knew I was still in love with you... what do you have to say about that?

Harry:
If... if it's true, my life just got made.

Erica Barry:
What are you doing here, Harry?

Harry:
Turns out the heartattack was easy to get over. You... were something else. I finally get it. I'm 63 years old... and I'm in love for the first time in my life.

Harry:
Oh. *Her*. She is a *major* piece of work. Doc, the woman wears turtlenecks in the middle of summer: she's *beyond* uptight. Almost makes her fun to be around.

Julian Mercer:
Uptight. That's funny, I haven't noticed that.

Harry:
Try living with her.

Erica:
I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't great.

Harry:
Let's just calm down. I had these plans before I even met you. I mean, I do like seeing you. I do.

Erica:
[scoff] Yeah.

Harry:
I'm always surprised by it.

Erica:
Surprised by it? What was I thinking?

Harry:
I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.

Erica:
The truth doesn't have versions, okay?

Harry:
Will you cut me a little slack? My life has just been turned upside down.

Erica:
Mine too!

Harry:
Well, then let's just each get our bearings.

Erica:
I don't want my bearings. I've had my bearings my whole goddamn life. I feel something with you I never really knew existed. Do you know what that's like, after a 20-year marriage to feel something for another person that is so...? That... Oh, Right. Right. Not your problem. God. Do you know that I've written this, but I never really got it? Do you know what this is?

Harry:
No.

Erica:
[Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How that's for impervious.

Harry:
You're killing me.

Erica:
I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.

Harry:
Me too.

Erica:
That's a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you I knew how to do that. I could do that forever. But now, look at me. What am I going to do? What am I going to do with all this?

Harry:
Erica. Can you wait just a second? The truth is, I... I just... I don't know how to be a boyfriend.

Erica:
That's what you have to say after all of this? That you don't know how to be a boyfriend?

Harry:
That's not a small thing.

Erica:
[shakes head] Are we done?

Harry:
I don't know.

Erica:
Oh, my god.

Erica:
Are you crying?

Erica:
Yeah. It's my new thing. I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it.

Marin:
Why? What is it?

Erica:
I'm in love. Ain't it great? Seems like I got to learn how to do that... love-them-and-leave-them stuff, you know?

Marin:
Oh, Mom. I hate this. Now do you get my theory about all this? You got to self-protect.

Erica:
You don't really buy this stuff you say, do you? You don't actually think that you can outsmart getting hurt?

Marin:
I think it's worth trying.

Erica:
Listen to me. You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out... maybe you'll become unglued? It's just not a way to live.

Marin:
Are you telling me this is good? What's happened to you?

Erica:
I think you should consider the possibility that you and I are more alike than you realize. I let someone in, and I had the time of my life.

Marin:
I've never had the time of my life.

Erica:
I know, baby. And I say this is from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for?

“It’s an empty water glass. What are the choices?”

“You are a woman to love.”