Son of Paleface

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
I was peaches / I was cream / I was captain of the team!

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
I was so young at the time, I don't remember many of the things Daddy said about me. If he poured out his heart in this will, I'd kinda like to read it. "The reason I leave all my money to my son Junior is that, being of sound mind I can't leave my money to my wife, 'cause I ain't never forgiven her since the day she presented me with an idiot for a son." Well, I was the only child. "But this idiot is all I got in the world, which shows you what a lousy spot I'm in."

Ebenezer Hawkins:
You're just like your old pa. He was the lyingest, crookedest, mangyest, rottenest, low down critter than never drew a silver breath.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Say, you really knew my daddy, didn't you? You, sir, have cast aspersions on my dear old daddy, the brave, low-down, mangy, crooked, drunken hero that won the West!

Mike 'The Torch' Delroy:
Put that gun away!

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Let that be the thought for today.

Kirk:
I ought to blow out his yellow liver.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Blow out my liver, you'd mess up the onions.

Mike 'The Torch' Delroy:
Put it away!

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Yeah, give me back my yellow liver, it matches my spine.

Mike 'The Torch' Delroy:
You know I don't believe in shooting.

Kirk:
Someday you'll be sorry you're so tenderhearted.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
As I always say, tender heart never won tender liver.

[Kirk walks away]

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
I guess I was pretty stern with him.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Why, I'm so mean, I hate myself.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Where I hail from, we don't cotton to folks what cotton to other folks gals that don't cotton to folks that cotton to them. That's cotton talk, see?

Roy Barton:
I apologize, mister.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Oh, you do? Well then beat the whole kit 'n' caboodle of you. That's caboodle talk.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Say, it's gonna be real fun honeymooning in Niagara Falls. My daddy spent a whole week there on his honeymoon, laughing, loving, drinking champagne. He had so much fun, he kinda wished Mother had been with him.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
When I was twelve, oh what a joy, Mom told me I was a boy!

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Rock 'em, Sock 'em, Make 'em quit, Hit 'em where they know they're hit!

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
[Potter is talking to Mike in the saloon]

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Now about that cellar...

Roy Barton:
Excuse me.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
You're excused.

Roy Barton:
I'm talking to the lady.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Who do you think I'm talking to, a duck?

Mike 'The Torch' Delroy:
Let the man talk.

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
We don't need him.

Roy Barton:
What are you going to pay for that wagon with?

Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.:
Ah, a preposition at the end of a sentence, and you split you infinitive. Pretty soon you'll be dangling a participle. Shame on you sir, the school marm will certainly hear about this.

Harvard! Harvard! ‘36 chew the nails and spit the bricks.