Son of the Beach

Notch Johnson:
How come I can't see your reflection in this mirror? Oh, I see..."Made in Taiwan".

Chip Rommel:
It is easy as attacking Russia at winter.

B.J. Cummings:
Two Johnsons? That's really hard to swallow!

B.J. Cummings:
I'd like to get my hands on that one-eyed snake!

B.J. Cummings:
[a man is yelling for help in the water] Man going down! I'm coming! I'm coming!

B.J. Cummings:
I've blown a lot of things in my life, but never a safe.

Notch Johnson:
A man fell off a boat. I swam out to save him, but I didn't get there in time. But this story has a happy ending, because that man was a personal injury attorney. So nobody really cared.

Ellen:
I've strapped on many things in my life, but never a gun.

Mayor Anita Massengil:
The hottest show on TV is going to be here.

Notch Johnson:
Walker Texas Ranger?

Notch Johnson:
[showing Chip the Heimlich Maneuver] Ok Chip, if you're up for it, take a crack!

Mayor Anita Massengil:
[after seeing Chip and Notch practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on each other] Johnson! You pervert!

Notch Johnson:
I had just gotten out of the "old navy" and there was a "gap" in my life, so I filled it by fighting for a "banana republic".