SPF 2000

Suron:
Greetings, Earth inhabitants. For many of your Earth years, my race has watched you from afar as you've engaged in this fascinating ritual where you shield your bodies from the sun's ultraviolet rays utilizing protective emollients and minerals in cream form. Sunscreen, as you know it. We are astonished that you have chosen to deplete your own planet's protective shield, which you call the ozone layer, placing a particular emphasis on the sociological communication through the sensation of touch. It is a rather intimate and uniquely human expression. We have chosen to integrate ourselves into your world, and without further delay I will demonstrate my understanding of this means of communication by shielding every inch of your bodies with this very special sun sunscreen.