Spider-Man Unlimited

Spider-Man:
What the - a planet where apes drive SUVs?

Spider-Man:
Yuck! I've been kissed by a rat lady.

Spider-Man:
Electro?

Lester:
Have we met?

Spider-Man:
Sorta, but the Electro I know looks like a movie star.

The Hunter:
[talking from a holographic projector] Come on in Spider-Man. Take off your mask and relax. [Shows a projection of Peter Parker]

Spider-Man:
Peter Parker? What's he got to do with this?

The Hunter:
Oh I don't know what your real name is Spider-Man and I don't much care. But I would like to see a man's face before I destroy him! Oh and here's another face you might know. [shows a projection of Karen] Now where ever can she be? Let's see if you could find her before I find you! [laughs and the projection disappears]

Spider-Man:
Great! Give a guy one holographic projector and he thinks he's Mysterio!

Spider-Man:
[Spider-Man is dodging all of the hunter's traps] Nice home improvements. I bet he washes this old water house. Tricks and traps! [Spider-Man's spider senses go off] I'm disappointed Hunter! [shoots his web to the walls to dodge the floor trap] I thought you were the mono of mono type.

The Hunter:
All in good time magnet. This is just an appetizer! [then fires dirts at Spider-Man]

Spider-Man:
I think I'll skip the main course and go straight for dessert.

Spider-Man:
Good thing I lost those machine men with my shortcut through the sewers. Not exactly hygienic, but effective.

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of line] Good thing those recycled rejects couldn't fly through the sewers. Let's hope this is a case of better late than never.

Spider-Man:
Great! Not only am I carting around my worst nightmare, it's leaking! Heeey, not on me!

Enforcer Robot:
Bus 54: you will land immediately!

Spider-Man:
The big guy here is dying too. Looks like I don't have a choice. I'll be your life support. Oh, this could be an even bigger mistake than telling Anna Watson I didn't want to be fixed up with Mary Jane.

Spider-Man:
[back in the black costume] Oh yeah! I'd forgotten how *good* this symbiotic costume feels! Just stay out of my brain until I can get you back to Brock.

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of previous line] I should be able to keep it alive, but it still needs Brock. I got to lose these bozos, and hope I get back to the clinic before the symbiote gets too comfy.

Spider-Man:
A piece of Brock's symbiote! That thing nearly cost me my sanity the first time. No *way* I'm getting *near* it! It's so weak... like Brock. That thing *remembers* me. It's trying to tell me something. Okay, little guy. Oh man, I just *know* I'm gonna regret this.

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of line] A piece of Brock's symbiote. After all I went through, the last thing I want is even to touch it. It's so weak, like Brock. The thing remembers me. What is it, boy? Timmy trapped in the well again?

Spider-Man:
Buh-bye, Carny. Don't forget to write.

Spider-Man:
[closed captions' version of line] Bye-bye. Always did love that express train.

Spider-Man:
[thinking, flashing back] The first time I saw a symbiote was back on Earth, when John Jameson's shuttle crashed on the Brooklyn Bridge. Before I even knew what it was, the symbiote bonded with me. It flowed over me forming a kind of alien costume which gave me powers I never dreamed of. But then it started taking over my mind, slowly turning me into a monster. When I finally found its weakness I managed to free myself from the symbiote's control. It found an all-too-willing host in Eddie Brock. Brock became Venom. Because the symbiote bonded with me first, it knew my every move *and* my secret identity. It was the toughest fight of my life, but I finally beat him. The authorities took him to a happy place to make baskets all day, until he met his soon-to-be partner in slime, Carnage. Over the years, Brock's been completely subsumed by the symbiote. No telling what's happened to his mind in all this time. He might not even remember who I am.

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of line] When I first found the symbiote on John Jameson's crashed space shuttle, I thought it was fantastic, and it was. Only one small problem - it started to take over my mind. When I rejected it, it bonded with Eddie Brock, and he became Venom. And since the symbiote and I were linked at a genetic level, Venom knew everything. Lucky for me, Brock never pumped any iron with his brain. I finally beat him. They took him to a happy place to make baskets all day. And he met his soon-to-be partner in slime - Carnage. Since he's been here, Brock's been completely subsumed by the symbiote. No telling what's happened to his mind in all this time. He might not even remember who I am.

Eddie Brock:
Parker! *You* did this to me!

Eddie Brock:
[closed caption's version of line] Parker, you did this to me!

Spider-Man:
Hey, Brock, cool it! I'm trying to help ya, you big jerk! And I felt sorry for you? Venom's very existence threatens me and this entire planet! You're on your own, Eddie!

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of line] Easy, Brockie, boy. We got to get you squared away. You've been through the mill. And I felt sorry for you. Venom's very existence threatens me and this entire planet. You're on your own, Eddie,

Spider-Man:
[shakes off Brock and shoots off a web to leave, but turns back] But you're *not* Venom, are you. You're a human being. One who needs help. I know just where to get it.

Spider-Man:
[closed caption's version of line] but you're not Venom, are you? You're a human being, and one in big trouble. All right. First thing's first, the man definitely needs a wardrobe makeover.