Split

Rutger Hauer and Kim Cattrall star in this festival of stolen plots and embarrassing dialogue. Harley Stone (Hauer) is a tough cop. The kind of cop who lives by his own rules. The kind of cop who smokes, swears, and eats junk food. The kind of cop who slams people into walls to drive home a conversational point. If it sounds like you've seen this character before, you have. Split Second is not so much a movie as a cinematic crib sheet, cheerfully ripping off Jaws, Aliens, and Hauer's own Blade Runner, just to name a few. Which is not for a moment to suggest that the movie isn't fun to watch. Connoisseurs of horror-action also-rans will be in spasms of delight over everything from the ludicrous plot to the cookie-cutter dialogue ("They say he's the best." "He is.") to the incredibly misguided decision to have Stone eat chocolate truffles throughout the entire film. It is honestly sometimes hard to tell what is an intentional joke and what's just plain bad. Anyway, there's a serial killer rampaging through London in 2008 and Stone doesn't want a new partner, especially one with all that book learning and blah, blah, blah. Just turn your brain off and enjoy the magic. --Ali Davis