Stitch! The Movie

Gantu:
A little Earth girl who can be a huge pain in the rear.

Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel:
You think you are so super strong, with your 'I can lift three-thousand times my own weight!' Well, that is exactly why I designed these restraints to hold your weight...

Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel:
...times three-thousand and one!

[Gantu walks into a large, windowed room in a spaceship with the stars of space visibly flying by outside. Dr. Jacques von Hämsterviel, a white gerbil-like creature with red eyes, appears on an oval screen]

Dr. Hämsterviel:
[first lines] Please, come closer. [a spotlight shines on a red chair] Have a seat. [Gantu growls, then walks to the chair that's too small for him and sits on it] Tell me, what makes you think you're so qualified for this assignment?

Gantu:
Well, my... previous occupation was captain of the Galactic Alliance. But um... [clears throat] After my last mission, I was uh... retired.

Hämsterviel:
You let Experiment 626 escape.

Gantu:
[angrily gets up and points at the screen with the chair stuck to his backside] It wasn't my fault! The little trog—!

Hämsterviel:
[interrupts] Calm down! [the chair pops off Gantu and falls back on the floor] This job has absolutely nothing to do with 626.

Gantu:
I know what the job is about, and I believe I know the location of the item you seek.

Hämsterviel:
[getting excited] Where is it? Where?!

Gantu:
A tiny planet in Gamma Quadrant. They call it... Earth.

Stitch:
Aloha, cousin.

[As Nani and David are talking at Lahui Beach, Jumba and Pleakley, wearing early 20th century bathing clothes, arrive in Nani's red dune buggy]

Pleakley:
Look! A parking space! [Jumba drives the buggy through a guardrail and crashes offscreen] WAAAAAAH!

[Jumba reverses the buggy back in frame and parks it, with Pleakley hanging over the windscreen]

Jumba:
Ridiculous Earth vehicle! [he and Pleakley exit the buggy] Needs evil genius tune-up!

Pleakley:
I am THRILLED! [happily spins on one of his three legs] My very first day at an Earth beach! I've been studying... [face Jumba] mingling with locals. [faces forward and does a shaka sign] Hang loose!

[cut to two women staring at Jumba and Pleakley in disbelief]

Woman:
[rolls eyes and sighs] Whatever. [both women walk away]

[cut back to Jumba and Pleakley]

Jumba:
Are you sure wooly one-piece bathing suit is from proper century?

Pleakley:
Absolutely! [pulls out a straw hat from behind Jumba] Put on your hat! [puts hat on Jumba]

Lilo:
Oh, no.

Jumba:
Not good.

Davin:
Hey, that's my chainsaw.

Man:
That blue dude, he's, like, totally freaky.

Moses:
I told Lilo… No pets.

Nani:
[to Pleakley] You sure you can watch Lilo for a couple of hours?

Pleakley:
You two go, have a good time. Everything here is completely under control.

Gantu:
[finds a blue experiment pod with the numbers reading 625] What have we here? [picks it up]

Jumba:
Uh, is, uh… ping-pong ball. Is Earth sport. Like tennis, but tinier.

Gantu:
[picks up Jumba by the head] You're a bad liar, Jumba. Where are the other experiment pods?

Jumba:
I never discuss scientific research with big dummies.

Gantu:
Then perhaps you'll discuss it with your former partner, Dr. Hämsterviel.

Jumba:
Hämsterviel is alive?

Gantu:
And he wants his experiments back.

Computer:
Container ready. Select experiment. [Stitch selects Experiment 221] Experiment 221. Primary function: electrical power surge. [Stitch takes Experiment 221's pod from the container and drops it in the bathtub, activating the experiment] Experiment 221 activated.

Mertle:
Lilo, what are you doing here?!

Lilo:
You're having a camp-out? But you told me everyone was sick.

Mertle:
We are sick… sick of you.

Yuki, Teresa, and Elena:
Yeah!

Lilo:
Who needs your dumb, fakey campout anyways?

Lilo:
[as she and Stitch head back home, through the back door; whispering] Don't let Nani hear us. It's so past my bedtime.

[The lights come on and Nani appears in front of them, not happy]

Nani:
Lilo! It is so past your bedtime! [Lilo and Stitch both scream and make a run for it as she chases after them around the house and elevate up to Lilo's rooftop dome] And DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! [storms off] Uhh! [slams the door to her room]

[The next morning, Cobra Bubbles' car pulls up at the Pelekai house, and Cobra walks up to front door and knocks, and Nani answers it]

Cobra:
You called.

Nani:
Cobra. How are you?

Cobra:
[enters the house] Sleepy.

Nani:
Oh. Sorry.

[As Lilo and Stitch arrive at the Kilauea Lighthouse with Experiment 221, now named Sparky…]

Lilo:
Wait! [echoes] I've got the missing experiment.

Hämsterviel:
What? [to Gantu] Who is this?

Gantu:
A little Earth girl who can be a gigantic pain in the rear.

Cobra:
Well done, Lilo. Now give it to the diminutive gerbil-like creature.

Hämsterviel:
Hamster-like! Not gerbil, hamster! Give it to me!

Lilo:
No!

Cobra:
Lilo, it's the only way you can save Jumba.

Lilo:
But got to save Sparky, too.

Cobra:
You've named it?

Lilo:
Yep. We're going to name all the experiments.

Stitch:
[nods in agreement] Mmm. Iki pataba.

Hämsterviel:
Shut up with all your not shutting up! Hand it over!

Lilo:
Nope.

Cobra:
Lilo, do what he says.

Lilo:
Whose side are you on?!

Jumba:
He's on saving-my-life side. Is good side.

Cobra:
You fail to comprehend the complexity of the situation.

Hämsterviel:
Do you want your Jumba or not? Make your choice, little girl.

[Lilo looks at Cobra, then Pleakley, then Jumba, and then, Stitch and Sparky for several moments; After that, she bravely makes her own decision]

Lilo:
Okay. I've decided. You can't have either of them! [sets Sparky free] Be free, little cousin! [to Stitch] Now you save Jumba!

Stitch:
Chuppy cheepa!

Hämsterviel:
Begin the shooting!

Gantu:
Finally.

[Last lines]

Lilo:
Come on! We've got 625 [six hundred and twenty-five] cousins to find!

Stitch:
623 [six hundred twenty-three].

Lilo:
Whatever.

Cobra Bubbles:
Are you sure they can handle this?

Pleakley:
Lilo is a very persistent little girl!

Jumba:
And with 626 [Six-Two-Six], they make one hotshot evil genius experiment-catching team!