Sunday Night Heat

The Rock:
[Pre-Wrestlemania interview] Hold the mic up, jabroni, before The Rock slaps the taste out of your mouth! [interviewer complies] You come out here and you spit your little talk about how the Rock comes out and spits his little nursery rhymes. Well, I'll tell you what, the Great One has a little nursery rhyme for you, Stone Cold, and it goes like this: Mary had a little lamb... Well, I'll tell you what, piss on the lamb, piss on Mary, and piss on *you*! The Rock is gonna go out there tonight and do what do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody-poo [crowd finishes it for him by saying "candy ass"] Uh uh! Hey! Don't do it! Don't do it, because the Rock guaran-damn-tees to prove to you [points to audience] , you [points to interviewer] , this goof holding the camera, this chick gawking at the Rock, he will prove to the millions [crowd finishes sentence for him] and millions of the Rock's fans exactly why the Rock is the Great One, exactly why the Rock is the chosen one, and exactly why the Rock is without a shadow of a doubt the best damn WWF champ there ever was, if you smelllllll [crowd says "smell" along with him] Hey! Uh uh Philly! This ain't sing-a-long with the champ! If ya smelllllalalalalow what the Rock... [the Rock pauses theatrically, lifts a hand to his face, uses it to turn his head to the side, pushes his chin down, and c*cks his Eyebrow]... is cooking!

The Rock:
Finally, The Rock has come back to Indianapolis!

[the audience cheers]

The Rock:
Triple H, let The Rock understand this for a second... last week on Raw, he beat your ass in a cage match and now this week, you're the number one contender for the WWF title? Well, The Rock realizes why that is: 'cause you got a three foot nose, you turn it sideways, and stick it straight up Vince's ass!

[the audience pops]

The Rock:
Triple H, The Rock says at this pay-per-view, Fully Loaded, number one contender or no number one contender, The Rock is gonna do to you exactly what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your candy ass!

[the audience pops again]

The Rock:
Now, on to "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn.

[the audience boos]

The Rock:
The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together and you said a prayer, and it sounded like this: "Oh dear God... you see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring, but there's one problem. Everybody still thinks that I" ABSOLUTELY SUCK!

[the audience pops]

The Rock:
And then at that point, Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up and God Himself spoke to you and said this: Bob... "But my name's Billy!" IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

[the audience cheers and applauds]

The Rock:
"You are absolutely right. You *do* suck. But there is one thing, and one thing only, you can do: you must go find the man who is simply electrifying."

[the audience pops]

The Rock:
"You must go find The Rock." Oh, but God, anybody but The Ro- "KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

[the audience cheers again]

The Rock:
And then, Billy, as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek, and piss rolled down your leg, your house started to shake again, the clouds parted, the heavens opened and what seemed like millions...

[the audience chants "And millions"]

The Rock:
...of voices all said to you in unison "Jabroni." IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLL what The Rock... is cooking!