Super

Louie Kritski:
Why do they call you Milkman?

Milkman:
Because I killed the milkman.

Big Lou Kritski:
Let me explain something to you, son. You fix this place up on Monday, Friday it's back the way it was. You put in plumbing, they put chicken bowls on the toilet. Put in heat, they piss in the hot air ducts!

Louie Kritski:
Beautiful. A f***ing sink that farts.

Heather:
What is that smell? It smells like...

Louie Kritski:
Piss.

Heather:
Yeah, smells like piss, what is it?

Louie Kritski:
It's piss. Drunks come in the hallway and they piss.

Heather:
You let them pee in here?

Louie Kritski:
It's not like they ask permission.

Louie Kritski:
Why is that you have twenty-four different kinds of pork rinds and you only have one kind of peanut butter?

Louie Kritski:
Okay.

Louie Kritski:
At least there's a Motif - WALL TO WALL SH*T!

Louie Kritski:
You want your electricity fixed? Move. Check into the f***ing Plaza, just gimmie the rent Lady!

Eleanor:
Look at my boy. How's he supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?

Louie Kritski:
Lincoln did. Hey maybe he'll grown up to be president, what the f*** do I know? Just gimmie the rent!

Eleanor:
How is my boy supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?

Louie Kritski:
Lincoln did. Maybe he'll grow up to be president, what the f*** do I know?

Louie Kritski:
I need to use your bathroom.

Eleanor:
No!

Louie Kritski:
What am I supposed to do, sh*t outside?

Eleanor:
Lincoln did.

Louie Kritski:
No way I'm going to that sh*t hole.

Big Lou Kritski:
Who are you talking to?

Louie Kritski:
Heather, trying to figure out where to go tonight.

Big Lou Kritski:
I'll tell you where you're going tonight. You're going to the building to serve your time or else you're going to jail.

Louie Kritski:
Here, run this up to the house, and here's a fin.

Tito:
Thank you.

Louie Kritski:
Thank you? That's it? That's five dollars I gave you.

Tito:
Thank you, master, thank you master.

Louie Kritski:
F*** you, kid.

Tito:
F*** you too.

Louie Kritski:
It worked before you broke it!

Louie Kritski:
English! English! Doesn't anybody talk English?

Louie Kritski:
It's only lights.

Big Lou Kritski:
Only lights? That's the inch, now they'll want the mile. You give them sh*t! That's what you give them, sh*t! Sh*t!

Big Lou Kritski:
Will you stop about the tenants? Remember, they used to live in huts. They used to eat people. You feel better now? Hey, come on, who gives a sh*t about a few whiny kookaboos?

Big Lou Kritski:
I'm gonna get a new lawyer, a white judge and an appeal.

Naomi:
On what grounds?

Big Lou Kritski:
On the grounds that you piss me off.

Big Lou Kritski:
Heather, can I ask you something? How far did you go in school?

Heather:
Oh, well when I was in high school I wouldn't even let a guy touch me. But when I got to community college, I turned pretty wild.

Leotha:
Do you know what kind of droppings those are?

Louie Kritski:
Moose droppings.

Leotha:
Rat droppings, Kritski.

Louie Kritski:
You really know your sh*t, don't you? Ha ha ha ha. What's the matter? You got no sense of humor?

Leotha:
So what are you gonna do about it?

Louie Kritski:
Nothing. If they pay the rent, they can stay!

Louie Kritski:
I've called every heating contractor in the city. They're all booked solid. It's winter! What do you want me to do? Go out and kidnap one and drag him back here?

Leotha:
Yeah.

Louie Kritski:
I won't! If I can tough it out, so can you people.

Ron Nessim:
How are we supposed to keep warm in the mean time?

Louie Kritski:
Burn one of your kids. What do I care?

Louie Kritski:
Damn! Boy, Big Lou was right about those shitheads. If they wanna keep warm, why don't they dance. Ha ha.

Louie Kritski:
GOSH, LIFE STINKS!

Louie Kritski:
I'm doubling your rent, meathead!

Big Lou Kritski:
If you fix one shitty toilet, I'll disown you. One toilet, you're out of the will!

Big Lou Kritski:
Give me that, Buckwheat!

Tito:
Who you calling 'Buckwheat', you fat f***.

Gilliam:
I prayed for you last night, Mr. Kristki. I prayed for you to get my commode fixed.

Louie Kritski:
Get out of my way and leave me alone!

Gilliam:
You don't want me to leave you alone.

Louie Kritski:
Trust me, I do.

Gilliam:
No, Satan wants me to leave you alone.

Louie Kritski:
We BOTH want you to leave me alone. Ha ha. Hallelujah.

Marlon:
Neighbor.

Louie Kritski:
Neighbor? You're late with your rent, Marlon. I know, I know, Mommy's dying again, you had to send money. How many times is it this year Mamacita's almost croaked?

Marlon:
Six. But you know, I am glad she is still with us.

Louie Kritski:
Listen, why don't you insure the lady? This way when she decides to join that big Piñata party in the sky, you can use the insurance money to pay your rent. Know what I mean? What is it with you Latins, don't you have any pride?

Marlon:
I got pride. I'm proud I live in a building. I'm proud I don't live in a cardboard box. I have an address I can't afford. I'm proud of that.

Louie Kritski:
Hey, put that sh*t down! Put it down!

Arsonist:
F*** you.

Louie Kritski:
No f*** you! There's not gonna be a fire.

Arsonist:
You must be Junior. Well, Junior, your old man over there paid me alot of money to light this place up. And that's what I'm gonna do.

Storekeeper:
Well what do you need?

Louie Kritski:
Okay, let's see... I got my girl coming over. I'll need some wine. What kind of wine do you got here? You got any...

Louie Kritski:
What the f*** is that? You expect me to drink screw-top wine?

Storekeeper:
You want a buzz? It's gonna have to come from this.

Louie Kritski:
Better just get some essentials so I don't starve to death.

Louie Kritski:
Holy sh*t! Your bread's older than your f***ing wine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is aged. This should - -See, this should be aged

Louie Kritski:
You don't - You get it? What a sense of humor. Am I on Candid Camera in this place or what?

Louie Kritski:
Obviously it's unusually cold in the building today. Not necessarily due to a malfunction of our boiler.

Ron Nessim:
That piece of sh*t it totally gone!

Louie Kritski:
You can't prove that.

Leotha:
Prove it? My parakeet is frozen solid. I could crack walnuts with him!