Sydney White

Sydney:
I'm sorry, I'm still learning to speak priss.

Sydney:
Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.

Sydney:
Don't worry... I'll remember to smile for my mug shot.

Sydney:
It's a disease... one without a cure.

Sydney:
Just to be clear, I spend a normal amount of time in the bathroom.

Sydney:
They threw bologna at us while we sang Celine Dion songs!!!

Sydney:
I tried to eat a plastic flower before... It kinda hurt.

Sydney:
As long as he doesn't try to hump my bunny slippers.

Sydney:
Public humiliation can be pretty tiring.

Sydney:
If only there was a place where a superficial, materialistic b*tch could fit in... Oh, wait. There is.

Sydney:
You realize she was flirting with you.

Sydney:
Tyler, have you lost your mind?

Sydney:
Tyler, these plates are plastic it hurts my hands!

George:
She's kinda scary.

George:
Purple's pretty.

Rachel:
Welcome to Hell, skanks!

Rachel:
Still fairest of them all.

Rachel:
I thought I was going to marry a Backstreet Boy.

Rachel:
That girl wouldn't know her Gucci from her Pucci.

Rachel:
Eyes brows meet tweezers, tweezers meet your worst nightmare.

Rachel:
Lose the big hair. This is not Dallas.

Tyler:
Let me be your Greek guide.

Tyler:
The Kappas are just a little intense.

Tyler:
Kappas could use a girl like you.

Tyler:
Now it's a date, huh?

Lenny:
You really are a dork.

Lenny:
[talking about Spanky] He keeps himself happy.

Lenny:
Oh, um, I don't know if you need any sort of special...lady products?

Lenny:
You may find this hard to believe, but most of the guys here don't have a lot of experience with girls.

Lenny:
We always do play fantasy video games and then reenact them.

Lenny:
Well, today's your lucky day because these are sensational.

Dinky:
And I think I'm in love with a dork!

Dinky:
AHHH! We're gonna be sisters!!

Dinky:
It is so hard to find a decent gluten free soy patty.

Dinky:
You are such a... a b*tch!

Professor Carleton:
We are taught from an early age that this is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. But what many Americans do not know is how much the Founding Fathers were as scared of democracy as they were of British oppression. Can anyone tell me why that is?

Snoring noise is heard in seats

Professor Carleton:
The young man snoring there, perhaps?

Class laughs, Jeremy jostles Embele awake

Jeremy{whispering}:
Come on, get up!

Embele{drowsily}:
The Founding Fathers were afraid direct democracy would ruin the American people the same way it doomed the Roman Republic. Alexander Hamilton even advocated a monarchy. Embele yawns

Professor Carleton{surprised}:
Correct. We are trained to think the more power the people have the better.

Terrence is repeating to himself the professor's lecture verbatim

Professor Carleton & Terrence:
Can anyone tell me why is this not neccesarily so?

Terrence hoists his hand high

Professor Carleton:
Ah, Terrence. Still here after eight years! class laugh What do you say we give someone else a chance to respond this time? Why not you, Miss?

Professor motions to Sydney

Sydney:
White. Well, I have to say that...uh...

Rachel Witchburn{interrupting}:
Most Americans do not concern themselves with the issues. There could be arguments for keeping things say a little more...elite? Maybe even certain kinds of oligarchies.

Sydney:
I have to say that that is underestimating the masses a bit, not to mention overestimating the elites. Aparthied was an oligarchy, and no one wants that to return.

Professor Carleton:
Interesting/

Three dorks are staring at Sydney's sports bra, which she has hung out to dry

Spanky:
Dudes...that thing has touched b*obs.

Terrence Lubinecki:
Of course... The sturdy, breathable fabric is designed to maintain mammary elasticity.

Spanky:
Shut up, Terrence. You're ruining the moment for me.

Embele is snoozing in the living room of "The Vortex"

Sydney:
Why is he asleep?

Lenny:
Embele is from Abuja, Nigeria. Interesting geography fact is that our time zone and theirs are literally on the other side of the world. Our 10 PM is their 10 AM, so he has not yet adjusted.

Sydney:
I see. How long has Embele been studying in the United States?

Lenny:
Three years.

Gurkin:
This from the guy who still is a Junior Tiger Guide.

George:
I am only one merit badge away from getting promoted to Tiger Guide.

Gurkin:
Yeah, I can tell which one.

Camera shows George is wearing Velcro-strap sneakers

George:
Knots are hard.

Amy:
My diet is working! I lost five pounds!.

Rachel{sweetly}:
That is so great Amy!

Amy departs in other direction

Rachel{talking to herself}:
Looks like your ass found it.

Waiting for Sydney to come down for her first date with Tyler

Terrence:
Three-quarters of first dates end in disappointment for one or both parties, studies show. I hope you beat the odds.

Tyler:
Me too.

Gurkin:
If you try any funny stuff I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states, and Canada.

Tyler:
Wow.

George:
Yeah! And I'll kick your ass.

Tyler is playing video games with the dorks

Tyler:
You guys should come over to the Beta house sometime.

Lenny:
How come?

Tyler:
We play a lot of video games too. We are like you guys. Why, what did you think the Betas did?

Spanky:
We thought you went after hot babes nonstop.

Tyler:
Hate to burst your bubble, but for the most part the Betas struggle with girls like most other men.

Sydney:
Tyler, what you said is like revealing that there is no Santa Claus.

George stares in shock

Sydney:
Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Sydney is surprised to see her father's pickup truck on campus, in addition to her father

Sydney:
Dad? You drove all this way to see me?

John White:
Something about your call did not sound right. Only factor that perplexed me was that you were not at the Kappa house.

Sydney explains her railroading at the hands of Rachel Witchburn and how she has failed to follow in her mother's footsteps

John White:
Sweetheart, respecting your mother is not about reliving her life. One big reason I fell in love with her was that she always stood up for her friends in need, no matter how hard it was. And on that, you are exactly like her.