Teen Titans

Raven:
[during a battle in the tower, she sees a bunch of robots come out of a room] That's my room! NOBODY GOES IN MY ROOM!

[repeated line]

Robin:
Titans *go*!

Headmistress:
I am deeply sorry. Once the agents have been retrieved from the authorities, they will be severely punished.

Slade:
No need. They were messengers, and my message got across loud and clear. [then Slade pushes a button that has images of Robin popping up on the TV]

Robin:
[on the TV] Who is Slade?

Brother Blood:
School is now in session and here's the first lesson: NO ONE DEFIES BROTHER BLOOD!

Aqualad:
Fish tacos? What were you thinking? I'm from the ocean! These were probably friends of mine!

Speedy:
You said get lunch and I got lunch. Chow down!

Raven:
[after she and Starfire have switched bodies] Starfire! You have to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash.

Starfire:
I will try to calm down. [takes a few deep breaths and closes her eyes] Peace... quiet... tranquil... [her powers cause a car to flip over and blow sky high]

Raven:
We are sooo doomed.

Fang:
[to Robin, who's dancing with Kitten under duress] Keep your hands off my girl. [attacks Robin]

Starfire:
[blasts Fang] Keep your legs off my boy!

Brother Blood:
[about Bumblebee] Another spy! Tell me, was anyone at my school actually there to LEARN?

Starfire:
[about Slade's invading army of robots] They are too numerous to fight. What shall we do?

Robin:
Fight anyway.

Terra:
[to Raven, after an earthquake] Are you gonna give me that look every time there's an earthquake?

Cyborg:
[as the tower is under attack] Somebody wanna explain how 200 armed robots got past my security?

Cyborg:
[trying to convince Raven to come to the birthday party they're throwing for her] We've got a pinata shaped like Beast Boy. You know you wanna smack it.

Terra:
You said you'd be my friend no matter what, remember?

Beast Boy:
Slade was right. You don't have any friends.

Raven:
[to BeastBoy] I respect that you don't eat meat... please respect that I don't eat fake meat.

Beast Boy:
Who wants tofu waffles?

Cyborg:
Man, *no one* wants tofu waffles.

[Starfire, Cyborg and Robin are sitting at a picnic table]

Starfire:
This tangy yellow beverage is truly delightful.

Cyborg:
Uh, Starfire?

Robin:
That's mustard.

Starfire:
Is there more?

[Robin and Cyborg stare at her weirdly]

[after Raven laughs and leaves the roof of Titan Tower]

Starfire:
Many of your Earth ways are still strange to me, but that was... just plain freaky, correct?

[the Teen Titans arrive back at the Tower. Starfire bursts through the door, gleeful]

Starfire:
Come, Friends. I shall thank you all by reciting the Poem of Gratitude. All six thousand verses.

[the Titans look shocked]

Cyborg:
Is there any meat in that tofu?

Beast Boy:
No, there's no meat in the tofu, it's TOFU.

Beast Boy:
Wakie, wakie, tofu eggs and bakie.

Raven:
I always thought you were funny, BB. But I guess looks aren't everything.

Beast Boy:
See? SHE thinks I'm funny.

Raven:
Statistically, someone has to.

Starfire:
I am happy to see her. But Blackfire rules the videogames and she is able to share very depressing poems AND she knows the cool moves and she always knows when people are NOT talking about shovels.

Robin:
...

Cyborg:
Have you ever seen her this happy?

Beast Boy:
Dude, I didn't think Raven could DO happy.

[the Titans are deciding on pizza toppings]

Cyborg:
Come on, how can you deprive me of the all-meat experience?

Beast Boy:
Dude, I've BEEN most of those animals.

Robin:
Who is Slade?

Slade:
Who knows... I could become like a father to you.

Robin:
I already have a father.

[Bats fly off and Batman music plays]

Blackfire:
How do I look?

Robin:
...pink.

Robin:
No one can could ever take your place.

Goth dude:
Soooo... you like show tunes?

Beast Boy:
No matter what I do, she STILL treats me like tofu eggs.

Mumbo:
Do I still have to go to jail?

Starfire:
You guys. I don't know what to do? I've tried every joke, and every bodily noise I can think of and Beast Boy still won't wake up. I'm afraid Beast Boy's brain is lost forever.

Raven:
Beast Boy had a brain?

Beast Boy:
[laughing] Good one... Hey wait a minute? Dude that's not funny. I totally have a brain. I just don't use it much.

Starfire:
[to Robin, who is on a self-deprecating rant] No more Robin yelling at Robin!

Beast Boy:
So, I guess it is bad to watch too much TV.

Starfire:
But, we were only victorious because you watches too much the television.

Raven:
So, I guess there really is no lesson.

Cyborg:
Yep, it was all completely meaningless. [everyone laughs]

Robin:
[to Cinderblock] Drop it Cinderblock before we drop you.

Starfire:
I will not read your book of meanness and swirls.

Starfire:
...boogers?

Cyborg:
You're the nasty egg people who stole all my waffles!

Starfire:
Are ALL the schools on your planet this horrible?

[trying to be funny]

Starfire:
How many Oparans does it take to hogey a morflark? FIMBAR.

Robin:
You've got a problem, Tin Man?

Cyborg:
YEAH. It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel.

[repeated line]

Raven:
Azarath... Metrion... ZINTHOS.

Beast Boy:
...kaaaay... do you come with subtitles?

Gizmo:
[going through Beast Boy's CDs] Crud... snot... MEGA crud... snot... crud... snot...

[after winning an on-line video game]

Atlas:
Atlas wins again! Derek Wyatt of East-Gotham City... I dominate you.

Control Freak:
I am the masterof monsters. I am your worst nightmares come to life. I am... Control Freak!

[Makes aplause sound with remote control and tvs]

Raven:
A couch-potato with a souped-up remote. I'm petrified.

Control Freak:
You will be. You will be.

[It is dark and Beast Boy has turned into an octopus]

Starfire:
Eeek! Someones claws are on my grebnacks.

[Two popping sounds]

Beast Boy:
Hehe... my bad

Raven:
I am afraid. But that dosen't mean I can't fight back.

Kitten:
Would it kill you to smile?

Robin:
[pained, scary smile] Maybe.

Kitten:
Hi, Robbiepoo!

Starfire:
Robin... who is this girl, and why is she calling you "poo"?

Cyborg:
Fuzzy dice? Now that's just tacky!

Robin:
All you care about is destruction!

Slade:
And all you care about, you destroy.

Terra:
They actually trust me.

Mad Mod:
Nothing teaches discipline better than a brain-erasing trance.

Mad Mod:
Next lesson, physics! What goes up... STAYS UP!

Robin:
Until I take it down!

Cyborg:
I will NOT be havin' attitude from a BOAT!

Starfire:
Hello, Starfire! Hello, tiny wooden replica of Starfire!

Mumbo:
It's only fair to warn you - I have no idea what I'm doing!

Raven:
Don't make me send you to another dimension.

Robin:
You can't hold us here forever!

Spike:
Now, don't be a sore loser. Atlas is just better than you, better than all of us!

Starfire:
Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!

Beast Boy:
Yeah! What she said!

Spike:
You watch your tone! Atlas is the greatest. He deserves your respect.

Raven:
Sooo, do we get bathroom breaks?

[the Titans are treating Terra to lunch - Starfire holds up a plate of green gelatin containing what looks suspiciously like intestinal tract]

Starfire:
Might you wish to partake of my home-made glorg?

[the other Titans mime "No! No!" at Terra, who wolfs it down in one bite]

Terra:
Tasted like... sushi mixed with ice-cream. Got any more?

Starfire:
I shall go cultivate the fungus!

Beast Boy:
I'm just... practicing my nose-whistling!

[whistles]

Mad Mod:
'Ello, my duckies!

Mad Mod:
My machines! That meddlin' little snot is gonna pay for...

[he turns and sees Robin, who grabs him by the shirt]

Mad Mod:
Er... 'ello, Guv'nor!

Terra:
My name is Terra and I have done horrible things. I have sworn to serve a dark master. I have obeyed his every command and commited crimes in his name. I have betrayed and attacked everyone who used to be my friend. One-by-one I have destroyed the Teen Titans. And with no one left to stop me I have brought an entire city to its knees. My name is Terra. I have done horrible things... and I have absolutely no regrets.

Starfire:
You are a klorbag varblernelk!

Raven:
Please tell me this isn't another ridiculous prank.

Beast Boy:
Okay, it's not another ridiculous prank. It's a brilliant prank!

[repeated line]

Cyborg Decoy:
Boo-yah!

[Cyborg is trying to pass as a student at the H.I.V.E]

Cyborg:
Mmmm! Sloppy Joes! Just like the mad scientist who created me used to make!

Raven:
Um... I know this isn't my style, but we just kicked Slade's butt. Shouldn't we... celebrate or something?

[Beast-Boy and Cyborg stare]

Beast Boy:
Yeah!

Cyborg:
All-you-can-eat...

Beast Boy:
Free form...

Beast Boy, Cyborg:
Breakfast explosion!

Raven:
Sorry I asked.

[after Starfire returns from the future]

Beast Boy:
[in tears] You're telling me I'M going to be BALD?

Starfire:
Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!

Beast Boy:
Yeah, what she said!

Robin:
What do you say we give him the sonic boom?

Cyborg:
I got the sonic if you got the boom!

Cyborg:
And the last slice of pizza goes to...

[spins the slice]

Cyborg:
Terra!

Robin:
All right, Terra!

Beast Boy:
Whoo!

Starfire:
You are the winner!

Raven:
Um... way to go.

Cyborg:
Just a rookie and already you're an MVP and the winner of the coveted four cheese trophy! The world wants to know, how does it feel?

Terra:
Um, good, and kind of greasy.

[about to watch a scary movie]

Robin:
Can't be any scarier than that documentary on hot-dogs Starfire made us watch.

Starfire:
It was fascinating! I had no idea Earth-people ate so many pigs... and insects!

[Raven wakes up from a nightmare in her goth-style room]

Raven:
Maybe I should consider redecorating.

Beast Boy:
You guys... missed me?

Cyborg:
Sure! Who else is going to help me wax the T-Car?

Robin:
And spar with me in the gym?

Starfire:
And wolf down nauseating amounts of tofu while Raven and I watch?

Raven:
Uh... how about we just go out for pizza?

Raven:
The book of Azar is not a toy!

Slade:
Hello, Terra. Remember me?

Beast Boy:
This is the best pie in the history of pie.

Starfire:
[upon first meeting Terra] Curiosity abounds! Please, tell us where you are from, how you got here, what's your favorite color, and do you wish to be my friend?

Terra:
Uh, Earth, walked, red, and, sure.

Starfire:
[giving Terra a huge hug] Hello, new friend!

Beast Boy:
[to the green Raven] What is with you? First you nuke breakfast, then you laugh at my jokes, then you're all weepy, now you're a Marine? Make up your mind! [shouts] Who are you?

Raven:
[pink, gray and green Raven] I'm Raven.

[Beast Boy has just caught Raven]

Raven:
You saved me? I thought you didn't like me.

Beast Boy:
Thought you didn't like me.

Cyborg:
Hey! I like both of you! Now let's get out of here!

Raven:
[smiling at Beast Boy and Cyborg] Thank you... friends.

Beast Boy:
So then, we really are friends?

Raven:
[nodding and blushing] Um-hmm.

Beast Boy:
And you really think I'm funny?

Raven:
Don't push it.

Raven:
So... do we get bathroom breaks?

Cash:
What's going on, Buddy?

Cyborg:
I want my car.

Sammy:
Yeah, see, um... the thing is... we sort of lost it in a race.

Cyborg:
YOU LOST MY CAR? MY CAR LOST A RACE?

Cash:
No way, we beat him easily. She handled like a dream.

Cyborg:
She did? How'd you take the curve? Cause, you know, I've been working on the supsension part to d-d-d-d... Don't try to distract me.

Beast Boy:
Umm... watch out for falling dinosaurs?

Slade:
Will you destroy the Teen Titans?

Terra:
I thought you'd never ask.

Beast Boy:
Terra, Stop! We're your friends!

Terra:
I don't have any friends. Remember? [she punches him]

Raven:
Terra.

Terra:
Raven.

Raven:
Traitor.

Terra:
Witch.

Cyborg:
[Cyborg and Beast Boy are playing racing car games] You wanna past me, but you can't pass me, you can't pass... YOU PASSED ME!

Beast Boy:
You talk to fish? Yeah, right.

Aqualad:
I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Beast Boy:
Well, I, uh, technically, I'm a squid

Aqualad:
It's called telepathy. Follow me.

Beast Boy:
[imitating Aqualad] It's called telepathy.

Aqualad:
I heard that.

Beast Boy:
Who is this guy?

Cyborg:
You're going to pay for that, you little grass stain!

Beast Boy:
I may not be smart enough to know everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything.

Raven:
[after getting off of Beast Boy as a rhino]... And now I smell like rhino butt.

Raven:
Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man.

Beast Boy:
Hmm, maybe you should call me Beast Man from now on.

Raven:
We're having a moment here, don't ruin it.

[to her evil father, Trigon]

Raven:
[raising her voice] I was protected by the monks of Azarath, I was raised by my friends. *They* are my family. *This* is my home!

[shouts]

Raven:
And you are not welcome here!

Demon:
You cannot hope to defeat pure evil.

Slade:
Actually, I'm not such a nice guy myself.

Terra:
Your not getting mad are you Raven? Beast Boy told me all about your temper tantrums.

Raven:
Anger is pointless, my emotions are under control.

Terra:
[mocking Raven] Nna! Nna! Nna! Anger is pointless, and your calling me a liar?

Cyborg:
So, we really are friends?

Raven:
Yes.

Beast Boy:
And you really think I'm funny?

Raven:
Don't push it.

Robin:
I've stopped you before!

Slade:
Robin, if you've "stopped" me, then why am I still here?

Slade:
I have to say Raven, when I found out the truth I was very impressed. All this time I had no idea of the power lurking inside you. The glorious destiny that awaits. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?

Beast Boy:
[Beast Boy offers to rescue his team from a destructing underwater complex by turning into a whale and letting them ride in his mouth] [pointing to mouth] Hello...

Raven:
I'd really rather just stay here and drown.

Beast Boy:
Now I know how George Washington felt when Napoleon beat him at Pearl Harbor.

Slade:
Only a minor set back. Nothing two old friends can't handle.

Robin:
I am not your friend.

Raven:
[after discovering the sole occupant of a flying saucer] So we're being invaded by cows?

Raven:
You may have created me. But you were *never* my father. [blasts Trigon]

Trigon:
Wretched - insignificant - [gets blasted again]

Raven:
Fathers are *kind*. Fathers *protect* you. Fathers *raise* you. I was protected by the monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends. *They* are my family. *This* is my home. And you are not welcome here!

Cyborg:
When I was at the H.I.V.E., for a time, I felt... normal.

Starfire:
Well, I did not know you before, so to me, you *are* normal.

Robin:
Slade. We're ready for you.

Slade:
Give me the girl!

Robin:
No way!

Slade:
You don't really have a choice. I'm taking her.

Beast Boy:
Oh, yeah? You and what army? [an army of fire creatures appear and then Beast Boy screams]

Cyborg:
You just had to ask, didn't you?

Slade:
[to Trigon] For the record, I'm nobody's servant!

Trigon:
The time has come. The prophecy shall be fulfilled. Tonight at dusk, when the planets align, the portal will be opened. Finally, I shall be free from this fiery prison and the Earth shall be mine.

Cyborg:
All right, y'all, four eyes is history, his ghoulies are gone, and we just saved the whole dang universe! Who wants French toast?

Starfire:
Oh, me, please. I shall consume them with gravy and the butter of peanuts.

Starfire:
Cyborg, you seem all lobstery. [everyone looks at her strangely]

Raven:
I think she means crabby.

Starfire:
[after getting their bodies back from being switched, to Raven] I am me! And you are you!

Cyborg:
[the rest of the Titans have their bodies back] And we're us!

Robin:
Thanks to you two.

Beast Boy:
You go girls!

Starfire:
We have done it! [jumps and embraces Raven]

Raven:
[horrified] Ummm... you're hugging me!

Beast Boy:
Ooh, squiggly lines. Way informative.

Raven:
Unbridled joy? Not really my thing.

Val Yor:
I was trying to pay her a compliment.

Raven:
Then why does it still sound like an insult?

[while fighting Plasmus]

Beast Boy:
Only one thing worse than goo...

Raven:
[flying by] Sneeze goo.

Beast Boy:
Ewww... gross!

Raven:
The gem was born of evil's fire. / The gem shall be his portal. / He comes to claim. He comes to sire. / The end of all things mortal.

[Robin just lost a fight]

Beast Boy:
Dude, you got your butt kicked. It happens.

Raven:
Happens to some of us more than others.

Raven:
I'm still getting his drool off my face. I don't want him anywhere near my brain.

Beast Boy:
See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party, in Boston. King George, or maybe it was King Norm-anyway... The British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea. But they were like, "Dude! No way! We're sick of your nasty old tea and your crummy English muffins!" So they decided, "Revolution!"

Raven:
Where'd you learn you history? A cereal box?

Beast Boy:
What's your point?

Raven:
[sweat drops]

Beast Boy:
British engineering. Finest in the world.

Raven:
Can you please stop talking like that?

Beast Boy:
You're just jealous because I sound like a rock star.

Cyborg:
City Hall. We should be able to hide here. Til Mad Mod's tanks come to tear it down.

Raven:
Whoa. That was actually more depressing than what I was going to say.

Raven:
[just got a glimpse of Mad Mod's underwear] Okay... really not something I needed to see.

Beast Boy:
Dude, turtles know what's up.

[ater Elastigirl of the Doom Patrol calls Beast Boy by his first name]

Cyborg:
..."Garfield?"

[Beast Boy gives embarrassed chuckle]

Raven:
[wicked grin] Oh, I'm gonna get a *lot* of mileage out of this one.

[Control Freak is in a Teen Titans chatroom]

Titans Fanboy #1:
Robin and Starfire forever!

Titans Fanboy #2:
Starfire should be with BB.

Titans Fangirl:
No way!

Red X:
Kid, you take life way too seriously.

Kid Flash:
Hold on a second. If you guys are called the "H.I.V.E. Five," how come there's six of you?

[awkward silence]

See-More:
[feebly] 'Cause it... sounds cooler...

[Gizmo, Mammoth, and Kid Wykkyd have cornered Kid Flash in a dead-end corridor]

Gizmo:
End of the road, snothead!

Kid Flash:
You guys realize I can vibrate my molecules through solid matter, right?

[he phases through the wall and reappears behind the villains]

Kid Flash:
Later, guys! [runs off]

Starfire:
Let us initiate a group hug!

Robin:
Calling all Titans!

Madame Rouge:
Yes, Robin, do keep in touch.

Beast Boy:
Ex-Doom Patrol member Beast Boy, sir. How can I help? Wowzers! You're Robin, aren't you, sir?

Robin:
Well, you can start by not calling me sir.

Robber:
[bats come swarming out of the shadows] Who's there? I don't want any trouble.

Robin:
You should have thought about that before you committed the crime!

Robber:
Hey, this isn't your town. Aren't you suppose to be with...

Robin:
Just moved here and from now on I work alone!

Beast Boy:
[after being dropped on his head] Is it just me or are we getting our butts kicked?

Robin, Raven:
[in unison] It's just you.

Robin:
[wondering what Slade's motives were for helping Trigon take over the world] So, why did you do it? For money? Status? Those dark powers?

Slade:
Not everything is so... cut-and-dry, Robin.

Robin:
Selling out our world for your own personal gain seems pretty cut-and-dry to me.

Slade:
With or without me, there was no stopping this.

Robin:
But you played a part; And just like everything else you've ever done, it's made people suffer.

Slade:
It's what I do best.

Pelican:
Oh have you seen my hippo? He hides and I must seek.

Starfire:
I cannot play. Please, do you know a strange man named Control Freak? He is big, not tall and nasty and known for causing strife. He escaped into the TV.

Beast Boy:
Hey Star, run for your life!

Starfire:
Never have I been so thankful to have nine stomachs.

Starfire:
[while holding three strips of tofu bacon to her head] Observe. I am a Rorphian Zopgar. [she giggles]

[Cyborg and Beast Boy give her blank looks]

Starfire:
On my planet, this is hilarious.

Cyborg:
[about Terra] No more chances.

Starfire:
No more trust.

Raven:
And no more mercy.

Beast Boy:
She's just another criminal.

Robin:
And we're going to stop her. No matter WHAT it takes.

Terra:
[after helping Slade apparently kill the Titans and take over the city] My name is Terra. I have done horrible things. And I have absolutely no regrets.

Raven:
Don't make me hurt you.

Terra:
Don't make me laugh.

Beast Boy:
Her name was Terra. She was gifted with tremendous power, and cursed with it as well. She was a dangerous enemy, and a good friend. And she was one of the bravest people I have ever known.

[the Titans carry a plaque and flowers to the stone statue that was once Terra]

Raven:
We'll be searching for a way to reverse the effect.

Robin:
We'll bring her back.

Cyborg:
Someday.

[Starfire lays the flowers at the statue's feet]

Starfire:
I shall miss you, friend.

[Beast-Boy lays down the plaque. It reads "Terra:
A Teen Titan. A True Friend."]

Beast Boy:
I'll never forget you, Terra.

Terra:
My name is Terra. I have done horrible things, and I have absolutely no regrets.

Beast Boy:
You know, just because we're trying to catch Slade doesn't mean you have to act like him.

Robin:
Don't you EVER compare me to him! He's trying to destroy the city, I'm trying to save it!

Slade:
Hurry, young Titans, you're running out of time.

Robin:
[the door explodes and Robin enters] Actually we just went into overtime.

Cyborg:
I will *not* be having attitude from a boat!

Slade:
And from now on, I'd like you to call me "Master". [gets blasted]

Starfire:
LEAVE... HIM... ALONE!

Slade:
Robin, attack!

Robin:
Get out of here! Go! You don't know what those beams did -...

Beast Boy:
Dude.

Raven:
We know.

Cyborg:
We just don't care.

Starfire:
We are your friends, Robin. We're not leaving without you.

Robin:
[after Robin's infected himself with nanobots] New deal Slade. I lose my friends, you lose your new apprentice. And I *know* how you hate to lose! [Slade destroys the device then tries to kick Robin. Robin counter attacks] TITANS GO!

Cyborg:
That's it, y'all. The Teen Titans are officially probe-free.

Beast Boy:
[doing the robot] Go Beast Boy, you're probeless, no probes now, go Beast Boy, go Beast Boy... get funkkky!

[moonwalks]

Beast Boy:
Uh uh that's right.

Robin:
[to Starfire] You're getting married?

Starfire:
Indeed, and I cannot wait to Tamaran. I have been having a bit of the sick-home feeling lately, and am eager to introduce my home planet to you, my friends.

Robin:
You're getting married?

Raven:
Yeah, anyone we know?

Starfire:
I have never met him. My betrothed has been chosen for me by the Grand Ruler of Tamaran.

Robin:
You're getting MARRIED? And to SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER MET?

Cyborg:
So who's the bad guy for the day? Gizmo, Mad Mod, Killer Moth?

Starfire:
The reports say there's an intruder.

Beast Boy:
Well, whoever it is, we're totally going to kick their...

[then Beast Boy bumps into Robin]

Robin:
[sees Slade] No!

Slade:
It's been a long time, hasn't it, Titans? A month, a year, a millennium? Far too long for my tastes anyway. I was beginning to think I'd never see you again!

Cyborg:
You! How did you survive?

Beast Boy:
Terra took you down! Way down!

Robin:
Slade! I don't know where you've been but you shouldn't have come back! I'm still ready.

Slade:
That's touching Robin. But I didn't come back for you.

[Cyborg rips a huge metall pillar off the wall and swings it at Slade. Slade burns through it]

Cyborg:
Whoa!

Slade:
Whoa? That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that.

Beast Boy:
[after seeing Slade's fire powers] DUDE!

Cyborg:
Yeah! Since when can Slade do that?

Robin:
Not sure, but he won't be doing it for long. Titans GO!

Slade:
The first task is complete... master. The message has been sent. The inscriptions are in place, she knows what she must do. The Prophecy will be fulfilled.

Trigon:
Then the world of mortals shall be ended.

Dr. Light:
No one defeats Dr. Light! No one!

Raven:
[Appears behind Dr. Light, form reminicent of Nevermore] Remember me?

Dr. Light:
[looking mortified] I'd like to go to jail now, please.

Slade:
Take my word for it, Robin, you shouldn't play with fire.

Starfire:
But... there will be music, and the iced cream, and the strange game involving pins and the behind of a donkey!

Cyborg:
We got a pi?ata shaped like Beast Boy! You know you want to smack it!

Beast Boy:
You may not like your birthday, but we're all glad you were born.

Raven:
We're going to need ice cream.

Raven:
Mumbo has taken our powers, turned us into furry creatures and a lamp. How can we defeat him if he's holding all the cards?

Beast Boy:
I got it!

Cyborg:
It can't involve driving a tank or unleashing magician-eating sharks.

Beast Boy:
I don't got it.

Cyborg:
[Gizmo has stolen the T-Car and is arming its weapons] Boo-yah! Check out my baby's proton canon...uh, I mean, Oh no!

Cyborg:
My wheel lock! My car alarm! My baby! SOMEBODY STOLE MY BABY!

Cyborg:
[hallucinating due to a computer virus and yelling at an ATM machine] You can keep your sprinkles! I NEED RASPBERRY FILLING!

[punches the machine, which spits out a bunch of dollar bills into Cyborg's mouth]

Cyborg:
[spits out the money] NO! NOT MACARONI!

Gizmo:
[to the Titans, who have asked him to fix Cyborg's computer virus] NO... STINKIN'... WAY. I'm not fixing that overgrown bucket of robo-scrunge, and there's nothing you grunt-slippers could ever do or say to make me - ...

[Raven pops up in front of him and takes off her hood to reveal a bunch of waving tentacles; Gizmo screams]

Gizmo:
[with chattering teeth] I'll help.

Cyborg:
[infected with a computer virus] Oooh, you know what would be great? Let's go get some WAFFLES! Raven, you like waffles, don't ya?

Raven:
[deadpan] More than life itself.

Cyborg:
Don't do anything, don't touch anything. Sci-fi rule number one: you start messing with the past you end up with monkeys ruling the future.

Raven:
[in monotone] Evil beware. We have waffles.

Cyborg:
Monkeys or not, it's about time someone went Bronze Age on your butt!

Beast Boy:
[about a mad-scientist's army of oversized maggots] You know, now that nobody's making 'em all mutate-y, these little guys might actually make good pets.

Raven:
Don't even think about it.

Kitten:
Let's dance!

Robin:
Tried it once. Didn't like it.

Kitten:
Okay... I could tell daddy to destroy the city, or we can dance. Unless you want to get straight to the kiiiiiiiissing...

Robin:
...wanna dance?

Jinx:
Congratulations. You're now one of us.

Gizmo:
But that doesn't mean we have to like you!

Beast Boy:
Time to do what I do best. Try not to be jealous!

Raven:
He just put on three-hundred-thousand pounds; I'm *so* jealous.

Aqualad:
And while he's helping you, I'll track down Trident.

Beast Boy:
You mean *I'll* track down Trident.

Aqualad:
That's okay I can handle it.

Beast Boy:
Thanks, but I think I...

Aqualad:
Seriously, I'll take care of it.

Beast Boy:
Would you just get out of my...

Aqualad, Beast Boy:
[shouting] Let me go!

[start fighting over each other]

Robin:
Guys, why don't you both track him down, together?

Aqualad:
I usually work alone.

Beast Boy:
Yeah, me too.

Aqualad:
You do not! You're part of a team!

Beast Boy:
And you hang out with Tram the fish boy, what's your point?

Starfire:
[after Cyborg has left the team] Eat. It will ease your troubled mind.

Raven:
My mind is never troubled. People come, people go. It's pointless to be upset about Cyborg.

[powers flare up and destroy several computer screens]

Raven:
What?

Starfire:
I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am stronger than I look.

[Beast Boy wants his own vehicle]

Beast Boy:
I give you: The B-ped!

Robin:
Beast Boy, you don't need a moped. You can fly.

Beast Boy:
Yeah, but my arms get tired.

Cyborg:
[Coming out of hiding from within a mechanical cow] MOO-yah!

Starfire:
Perhaps you could use your powers to communicate with the creature.

Raven:
I'm still getting his drool off my face. I don't want him anywhere near my brain.

Raven:
I don't do fear.

Robin:
I've fought psychotic villains, robot commandos, and giant, oozing monsters, but that is the scariest thing I have *ever* seen!

Cyborg:
Maybe he has an extra remote. I mean, we got like nine...

[Control Freak uses his remote to bring candy to life and attack Cyborg]

Candies:
Eat him! Who's delicious now, big man?

Cyborg:
Ow! Bad candy! Bad candy! All right! That's it! If y'all are bitin' Cyborg, then Cyborg's bitin' back!

[eats some]

Cyborg:
Oh, yeah! Never knew evil tasted so good!

[the candy runs away. Cyborg turns green and clutches his stomach]

Cyborg:
Oh boy.

[Runs out]

Starfire:
I suggest a large pizza with pickles, bananas, and mint frosting.

Robin:
Uh, Starfire? Not everything on the menu is a pizza topping.

Raven:
[warningly, in an icy monotone] They went into my room. No one should ever go into my room.

Cyborg:
How Could You Lose The Remote?

Beast Boy:
What Makes You So Sure I Lost It?

Cyborg:
Uhh, 'Cause Your You.

Beast Boy:
Hey, Just Beause I Lost That Video Game...

Cyborg:
And The Toothpaste, And The Football, And The Waffle Iron...

Beast Boy:
Things Disappear. How Am I Supposed To Know Where They Go.

Cyborg:
Well How Am I Supposed Watch TV Without A Remote?

Raven:
[slamming her book shut, angry] Simple, You Just Get Up And Change The Channel.

Cyborg:
[He And Beast Boy Exchange Looks] Don't Even Joke Like That.

Raven:
I Wasn't Joking.

Cyborg:
Good. 'Cause It Wasn't Funny, Now Ether Help Us Look For The Remote Or Go Back To Your Nasty Old Book And...

Raven:
This Is A Pointless Argument Over A Useless Device. You Are Wasting Your Energy And Destructing My Concentration

Jinx:
Does she have *anything* that's not blue?

Gizmo:
[Introducing themselves to the titans] We Are The H.I.V.E.

Mammoth:
Your Worst Nightmare.

Jinx:
And This Is Attack Pattern Alpha.

Cyborg:
[ordering pizza] Pepperoni!

Cyborg:
I'm NOT eating meat!

Cyborg:
There's no meat in pepperoni!

Control Freak:
[after all his gadgets fail to stop the Titans East] Those would have worked on the real Titans. Your powers are just... stupid. I don't want to play any more!

[teleports away]

Speedy:
Did the bad guy just zap himself out of the fight?

Control Freak:
[on screen] You guys were so cool. [teleports in front of the Titans East] I mean, I didn't think you could pull it off, but you did!

Speedy:
I can't believe the bad guy just zapped himself right in front us.

Beast Boy:
Okay, it's not a ridiculous prank... it's a BRILLIANT one!

Starfire:
Is this punishment? I did something wrong?

Beast Boy:
Star, it was... You weren't supposed to... I didn't... Heh, just remember to change that oil every 3,000 miles. Heh heh.

Starfire:
On my planet we have a name for those who do such horrible things, you are a... A CLORBAG VARBLERNELK!

Beast Boy:
I'm a what-bag?

Cyborg:
You heard the lady.

Raven:
You are such a clorbag.

Robin:
Okay, team. We have to find those guys before they do any more damage. Cyborg, search the west side. Raven, the east. I'll take downtown. Beast Boy, you and Star scan from the skies. [Beast Boy glances at Starfire, who has her back to him, her eyes closed and arms crossed]

Beast Boy:
Um... maybe Cyborg should come with me instead?

Robin:
But, Cyborg can't fly.

Beast Boy:
Oh. Yeah.

Cyborg:
[Pinches Beast Boy's cheek] Have a nice flight, my little clorbag.

Beast Boy:
Come on, Star. You can't stay mad forever. What? Do I have to do the face? [smiling] You know you can't resist the face. [He turns into a small kitten with wide eyes and meows]

Starfire:
Hmph! [Walks on]

Beast Boy:
[Beast Boy turns back into his normal form] She resisted the face!

Raven:
I don't exactly fit in.

Cyborg:
He's green, half of me is metal, and she's from space. You fit in just fine.

Beast Boy:
But what about my secret identity?

Raven:
What secret identity? You're green.

[Beast Boy saves Robin from Starfire]

Beast Boy:
Ex-Doom Patrol member Beast Boy, sir! How can I help? You're Robin, aren't you, sir?

Robin:
Well, you can start by not calling me "sir."

Beast Boy:
Well, let me just say that it's a real honor to be ...

Robin:
Beast Boy, was it?

Beast Boy:
Yes, sir?

[Robin points at Starfire who is holding a bus above her head about to throw it at them]

[they survey the wreckage Starfire left]

Cyborg:
Well, whoever she was, the girl sure knows how to make an impression.

Beast Boy:
I think we left a pretty good impression. Crazy Space-Girl's gone, the city's saved, mission accomplished. Right, sir?

Robin:
Seriously. Stop calling me that.

Beast Boy:
Roger.

Raven:
[to Robin, about Starfire] So, you're gonna go after the alien?

Robin:
I have to find out if she's a threat.

Cyborg:
[to himself] More like find out if she'll give him another kiss.

[Trogaar has just vowed to destroy the city after discovering that Robin and the others were helping Starfire]

Starfire:
[to Robin] All the fault is yours! I commanded you leave me alone, but you insisted upon the 'being nice'!

Robin:
MY fault? You blast me, you kiss me, BUT YOU NEVER STOP TO MENTION THAT THEY HAVE A GIGANTIC PARTICLE WEAPON?

Raven:
[as the aliens group around Cyborg, Starfire and Robin] Get away from my friends! Azarath Metrione Zinthos!

Cyborg:
[after using his Sonic Blaster for the first time] All right, I'm only going to say this once. ... Booyay.

Robin:
I thought we might want to keep in touch. So Cyborg and I designed these. [presents communicators to everyone]

Cyborg:
Made them out of my own circuits.

Robin:
When there's trouble, you know who to call.

Trogaar:
The Earth scum shall learn. It takes more than five juvenile heroes to defy the mighty Lord Torgaar. [the weapon powers up. There's an explosion and the Titans appear]

Robin:
We're not five heroes - We're one team!

Raven:
[seeing through Robin's eyes] Let me see him, through your eyes. See, Robin? There's no one here. There never was.

[Slade appears and hits Robin]

Raven:
SLADE!

Slade:
Too slow, Robin; you always were.

Robin:
I knew you'd come back.

[shoots his grappling hook to the next tree and follows Slade to another tree]

Slade:
[Robin is breathing] Already out of breath? Don't tell me you've gotten soft.

[Robin clinches his fists then Slade holds his hand]

Slade:
Save your energy; you're going to need it. I merely released Cinderblock to get your attention and now that I have it...

Robin:
[pulls out his bo-staff] What you are planning?

Slade:
Seismic generators, Robin, three of them. Placed on fault lines all over the city and in three short hours it will break your city in two.

Robin:
Not if I break you first!

Monsieur Mallah:
[after he's captured the kids] Say goodbye to your friends. [drives off]

Raven:
Nobody messes with my kids! [flies after him]

Raven:
I need back up. [pulls out her communicator] Raven to anyone!

Beast Boy:
Raven.

Raven:
Anyone *other* than Beast Boy!

Monsieur Mallah:
This is the last time I work with children.

Raven:
[after the sky ride crashes] Is everyone okay?

[Teeth vomits. Raven groans]

Timmy Tantrum, Melvin:
[excitedly] Do it again! Do it again!

Raven:
No, again!

Raven:
We're going to play a game. It's called *Don't Bother Raven*!

Madame Rouge:
Perhaps my mind is too hard to read.

Mento:
No. It's just too twisted.

Elastigirl:
We're all very proud of you, Garfield. [hugs Beast Boy] Take care. [The Doom Patrol flies off]

Cyborg:
[sarcastically] Garfield? [Beast Boy chuckles]

Raven:
Oh, I'm gonna get a *lot* of mileage out of this one.

Beast Boy:
BALD? You're telling me I'm going to be BALD? [pulls out some of his hair]

Beast Boy:
[old Beast Boy looks at Nightwing's hair] Dude. That is so unfair.

Nightwing:
I heard you're looking for help.

Starfire:
There is nothing you can do. There is nothing *anyone* can do. The past cannot be repaired. The future cannot be altered. No matter how wrong it seems.

Nightwing:
So - it's impossible? Good! [walks to a station] If memory serves, we've done the impossible before. I held onto this just in case. [presses a button and reveals a Titan's Communicator]

Robin:
Nightwing, huh?

Starfire:
Raven? Raven, it is Starfire, your friend.

Raven:
No such thing.

Starfire:
Please, Raven, I...

Raven:
Just another figment of my imagination, don't even look.

Starfire:
You must listen. I am here because...

Raven:
Never coming back, go away! You have to go away. Just like before. Just like all the others.

Starfire:
Your mind, without friends you must've...

Raven:
You're a sad little man, aren't you?

Starfire:
Beast Boy, perhaps you can communicate with them.

Beast Boy:
Uh... Nice dinos? [the raptors snarl]

Raven:
Hey genious, I think she means try it in THEIR language.

Madame Rouge:
Life is full of disappointments. You are one of them.

Jinx:
[after Being Busted From Breaking Into A Jewelry Store] Run!

Kid Flash:
[after Kyd Wykkyd appears] Ah! Someone should put a bell on you!

Jinx:
Who are you?

Kid Flash:
Kid Flash. Fastest boy alive.

Jinx:
Are you supposed to be a good guy or something?

Kid Flash:
One of the best.

Starfire:
I cannot awaken Beast Boy. I have tried the tickling, all matter of bodily noises, and the word "underpants". I fear this time Beast Boy's brain is truly gone.

Raven:
Beast Boy had a brain?

[Beast Boy wakes, cracking up]

Beast Boy:
Ha. Ha. Ha. Good one... hey! That's not funny. I *totally* have a brain... I just don't use it very much.

Starfire:
But how do I...

[snap Beast Boy out of his trance]

Cyborg:
Make him laugh!

Starfire:
[to Beast Boy] How many okarins does it take to hogie a morflark? Fimbar!

Beast Boy:
[no response]

Starfire:
Umm... boo-gers?

Beast Boy:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Boogers!

Slade:
Trust is easy to destroy, but takes time to build.

Raven:
I can't believe I'm saying this but... Beast Boy is right.

Starfire:
Friends! Awaken! Alarm!

Starfire:
[in one breath] The Mother Mae-Eye is not truly our mother, but an evil witch who has tricked us all and invaded our home and forbidden our missions and stolen our boogers and keeps us all under her spell with frequent and plentiful helpings of enchanted pie! [stops and gasps for breath]

Raven:
So... what now?

Cyborg:
I think she's saying she wants more pie.

Robin:
[after Starfire hits them all on the head with a rolling pin to break Mother Mae-Eye's spell] Umm... why am I in a giant pie?

Beast Boy:
Why am I in a bunny suit?

Raven:
[angry] Why am I in a dress?

Cyborg:
WHO'S BEEN REDECORATING MY TOWER?

Raven:
I never knew I could feel this much hatred for a pastry!

Beast Boy:
So... she's trapped in the pie?

Raven:
Yeah, sure, why not?

Dr. Light:
Bit of advice; find shorter magic words.

Cyborg:
[lost inside Raven's mind] Hey, I know where we are! We're in that place that I didn't know where we were before.

Raven:
That mirror is for meditation. It's portal into my *mind*! Not a *TOY*!

[Beast Boy and Cyborg have just entered the "happy" part of Raven's mind]

Beast Boy:
I think this is where air fresheners come from.

Cyborg:
We're in Raven's room. We should not be in Raven's room.

Beast Boy:
[while inside Raven's mind] I've had it with this Mystery-Girl-Routine! I want know exactly what we're talking about here.

Raven:
[as Trigon appears in a very frightening form] Let's just say I have issues with my father.

[Beast Boy and Cyborg have just entered the 'happy' part of Raven's mind]

Beast Boy:
I think this is where air fresheners come from.

Robin:
C'mon, Cyborg! Push!

Cyborg:
[Slowly, in struggle] What does it look like I'm doing?

Cyborg:
My muscles are mechanical now, the limits are built in! No matter how hard I try, a hundred percent is all I got.

Robin:
I didn't know.

Cyborg:
Well, now you do!

Atlas:
I didn't think you would come... humans scare easily.

Cyborg:
I'm only half human!

Atlas:
And half of nothing is still nothing.

Raven:
That would have been more profound without the hat.

Cyborg:
Star! Remember that purple wiggly Tamaranean pie thingie you made that was full of bugs?

Starfire:
My stewed grunthmek which made you physically sick?

Cyborg:
Yeah! You gotta cook up some of that!

Gizmo:
Whose side are you on, barf-brain?

Red X:
Mine.

[blows up Gizmo's vehicle]

Gizmo:
Cr-uuu-d!

Cyborg:
Robin, when you said we had to stop a crook. I think you left out a minor detail. *You* were the one robbed.

Robin:
It doesn't matter.

Robin:
All of you took a risk to help me protect this. It's only fair that I show you what's inside.

Raven:
You don't have to do that, Robin. Sometimes secrets aren't meant to be shared.

Cyborg:
Even with your best friends.

Cyborg:
I used to think that. But not any more. [opens the briefcase]

Robin:
Don't see an off switch, guess I'll have to make one.

[Robin offers Starfire some cotton candy]

Starfire:
The last time I ate a ball of cotton, it was white. And it did not taste very good.

Robin:
This is different.

[both eat some]

Starfire:
Mmm... It vanished!

Robin:
Yeah. It'll do that.

Guy at Club:
Hey, Hot Alien Babe, you digging the scene?

Starfire:
Oh I didn't know we were suppose to bring shovels...

[Winning a carnival ring-toss game]

Beast Boy:
Told ya we'll win you a prize.

Raven:
A giant chicken. I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

Raven:
[at a rave] This party is pointless.

Goth Boy:
Everything's pointless. Wanna talk about it?

Beast Boy:
You think your alone, Raven, but you're not.

Beast Boy:
I'm sorry... he broke your heart.

Raven:
I'm not creepy, I'm just different.

Cyborg:
Let's go. If you're done goofing off with your GIRLFRIEND!

Robin:
[long pause. ] SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!

Starfire:
I am not your friend?

Beast Boy Puppet:
Dude. Get your BUTT outta my FACE.

Robin Puppet:
Can't. Move. DEAL with it.

[Starfire is teaching Raven how to fly, because they have switched bodies, and requires a happy thought]

Starfire:
Very, very good. What was your joyful thought?

Raven:
You don't want to know...

Starfire:
Oh, but I do... please tell me... what did you imagine?

Raven:
You not talking.

Starfire:
Oh... well, I am glad I was able to help...

Starfire:
Raven, did you hear the strange noises too?

Raven:
The strange noises of you talking outside my door? Hard to miss.

Starfire:
But what if they find us? What if our friends are doomed? What if I'm stuck looking like this forever?

Raven:
We'll fix it! I don't know how but we will rescue the boys and we will get our bodies back... What's wrong with the way I look?

Starfire:
Nothing!

Starfire:
[after titans say they would have never let Val Yor treat Starfire like a nothing if they knew] There is nothing you could have done.

Robin:
[to Starfire] I'm sorry Val Yor treated you like that. If I'd known I never would've let it happen.

Cyborg:
None of us would.

Starfire:
There is nothing you could have done. There will always be people who say mean words because you are different. Sometimes their minds cannot be changed. But there are many more people you do not judge others based on how they look or where they are from. Those are the people whose words truly matter.

Beast Boy:
Did we blow up yet?

Raven:
Yep. That's why you're still talking.

Robin:
Hi, I'm Robin. And we're the...

Terra:
Teen Titans. Rock on! It's cool to meet you guys. I'm Terra, and you're Cyborg, Raven, Starfire and...

Beast Boy:
BOY BEAST! I-I I mean BATH BOOT! EH! NO!

Terra:
Beast Boy?

Beast Boy:
AHH!

[turns into a turtle]

Terra:
Dude! He's hilarious!

Beast Boy:
Hilarious? Me? Really?

Starfire:
Curiosity abounds. Please...

[fast]

Starfire:
...where did you come from? How did you get here? What's your favorite color? And do you wish to be my friend?

Terra:
Earth, walked, red, and sure!

Starfire:
Welcome new friend!

[Beast Boy deliberately knocks into Raven]

Raven:
Sorry...

Beast Boy:
You'd better be! Why don't you look where you're going?

Raven:
On second thought, I'm not sorry and you're a jerk.

Beast Boy:
[blocks her path] Y'know Raven, I've been a really nice guy for a really long time. I've put up with your insults and your attitude, and I've had it! Concider this a warning: As of last night, Mr. Nice Guy has left the building.

Raven:
Is this the part where I'm supposed to be intimidated?

Beast Boy:
No, THIS is!

[Changes into a gorilla]

Beast Boy:
Dude, it is totally brunged... branged!

Raven:
Ooooh, bad grammer, that outta scare him.

Beast Boy:
Hmmm, maybe you should call me Beast MAN from now on!

Raven:
We're having a moment here, don't ruin it.

Trigon:
What you have concealed you shall become. You have no other choice. Your destiny will be fulfilled. The portal must be opened!

Slade:
[rising out of the stone from underground] The day has begun.

Starfire:
On my planet, this is hilarious.

Raven:
You may have created me. But you were NEVER a FATHER! [blasts Trigon]

Trigon - The Guardian:
Wretched! Insignificant - [gets blasted again]

Raven:
Father's are KIND! [blasts Trigon] Father's PROTECT you! [blasts Trigon] Father's RAISE you! [blasts Trigon] I was protected by the Monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends! They are my family! This is my HOME! And you are not welcome here! Azarath Metreone Zinthos!

Raven:
Blue's still my favorite color and you're not funny.

Beast Boy:
...Raven! [hugs Raven]

Robin:
There are no endings ... Only new beginnings.

Starfire:
Why does the Punk Rocket wish to hurt people with his music? Music is a glorious expression that is supposed to make one feel happy.

Raven:
You obviously haven't heard to any of MY music.

Monkey:
I am the Guardian of the Trees.

Robin:
[takes a breath] And if I want to get to the top of the mountain, I must first defeat you.

Monkey:
How did you know I was going to say that? Do you know what I'm going to say next?

Robin:
No.

Monkey:
Me neither. It's been a while since anyone's gotten this far up the mountain.

Cyborg:
[to Starfire and Beast Boy] I can't believe you two would go into Robin's room while he's gone and wear his uniform and pretend to be Robin.

Starfire, Beast Boy:
Well...

Cyborg:
Without me!

Robin:
You could have taken a class, but no, you had to travel around the world!

Katarou:
You think you can stop me?

Robin:
I know I can!

Beast Boy:
Yo, Raven! Try one! They're loaded with soybeany goodness!.

Cyborg:
Four and a half pounds of baby back ribs! Man, I love picnic food! [starts scarfing away]

Starfire:
Agreed, Cyborg. This tangy yellow beverage is truly delightful. [starts slurping more of her drink. Robin and Cyborg slowly stop eating and start looking at her, flabbergasted]

Robin:
Um... Starfire?

Cyborg:
That's mustard.

Starfire:
Is there more?

Mumbo:
Now, Robin, I'm sure there's a peaceful solution here... [Takes two bombs] But this isn't it!

Raven:
Blue's still my favorite color, and you're still not funny.

Beast Boy:
...Raven! [throws his arms around her]

Beast Boy:
Terra?

Terra:
Sorry, you've got the wrong girl.

Beast Boy:
[last of the series] Beast Boy to Robin... I'm on my way...

Aqualad:
Fish tacos? Are you crazy? I'm from the ocean! These could be friends of mine!

Speedy:
You said "Get lunch" and I did, so chow!

[first lines]

Brother Blood:
[looking out over] Steel City. Bitter cold, stinging winds, and...

Brother Blood:
[sniffs twice]... the pungent smell of decay. My kind of town!

Brother Blood:
[shivers, then to students] Don't you just *love* it? Ever since my schools were regrettably destroyed, I've been seeking a new home sweet home for my precious HIVE academy. And here we are, which, Mr. Steamroller, is where you come in.

[Mr. Steamroller grunts and strains against his chains]

Brother Blood:
After all, what good is a school without students?

[Brother Blood's eyes glow red. Mr. Steamroller's follow suit, and he ceases straining against his chains]

Brother Blood:
You're going to help me recruit a new class, starting with a former student of mine, the one who destroyed my academy! The one who got away.

[driving alone in his car]

Cyborg:
[singing off-key acapella to the Teen Titans theme] When there's trouble, you know what to do / Call Cyborg / He can shoot a rocket from his shoe / 'Cause he's Cyborg / To the tune of something like that, oh yeah / Na-na na, na, think like a cat, that's right...

[first lines]

Robin:
[over video link] And you're sure there's nothing I can say to change your mind?

Cyborg:
No, man. I'm stayin' in Steel City as leader of the Titans East. That's it. End of discussion.

Robin:
Well, could you at least tell me why? I mean, I'm losing a member of my team here, and it's not like I can read your thoughts.

Cyborg:
They need me, and this is my big chance. I'm ready to show people what I can do. I'm ready to grow up, to be a man.

Robin:
And what about Brother Blood?

Cyborg:
What about him?

Robin:
I know how badly you want to catch him, and I know a thing or two about being obsessed with your target. Look, I just worry about what you're getting yourself into.

Cyborg:
You think I can't handle it.

Robin:
I didn't say that.

Cyborg:
You didn't have to. Man, this is supposed to be a good thing! My own tower! My own team! Why can't you just be happy for me!

Robin:
Because you're already on a team. My team! And you can't just quit!

Cyborg:
I can, and I did! Which means I don't have to put up with you tellin' what to do anymore!

Robin:
So, now this is my fault?

Cyborg:
It's not *about* you!

Robin:
No. It's all about you because that's all you care about! You talk about being a man, but if you can turn your back on us after *everything* we've been through, you're nothing but a spoiled child!

Cyborg:
[firmly] I'm staying. I don't care what you say, I don't care what you do, and right now, I don't care if I ever see you again.

[Cyborg end the communication by switching off the screen and walking away]

[Aqualad observes from an adjacent hallway. He is with Mas y Menos, Bumblebee, and Speedy, their eyes glowing red]

Aqualad:
[speaking into a communicator] He's broken contact with the Titans, Headmaster. We will proceed on your command.

Brother Blood:
[over communicator] Wonderful, my students. Brother Blood is very happy.

[pan down to a lower level of the tower where various monitors playback surveillance footage as Brother Blood lounges in what appears to be a dentistry chair]

Brother Blood:
Continue the charade. Cyborg mustn't suspect that I've recruited you until I'm finally ready to recruit *him*, and I should be ready in a matter of hours.

Brother Blood:
[he opens his eyes, also glowing red] Isn't that right, Professor Chang?

[Professor Chang's goggles also glow red. He pulls out a two-pronged knife. Close on Brother Blood's left eye as his eyebrow tightens and the eye flares red]

Cyborg:
Yo, Speedy! Get your butt over here.

[Aqualad and Mas Y Menos join Bumblebee and Cyborg at the table]

Cyborg:
After the way I've been workin' y'all in combat practice, I figured my team could use a good meal, so, say hello to homemade spaghetti with Chef Cyborg's Triple-Meat Sauce!

[POV inside 3-foot-tall pot, it opens. Spaghetti and sauce frame the circular view as Aqualad, Mas Y Menos, and Bumblebee look inside. Aqualad inhales deeply]

Aqualad:
Woah, Cyborg, that smells incredible!

Mas:
[chicken] ?Carne con...

Mas:
[pig] carne con...

Mas:
[cow] carne!

Menos:
?No puedo creerlo!

Mas Y Menos:
[collapsing] Ahhhhh...

Bumblebee:
Mmm, mmm! What did we do to deserve this?

Cyborg:
Just my way of sayin', "Thanks for makin' me boss."

Cyborg:
I don't even know where to begin!

Beast Boy:
I do! I'm not stopping until the Brain is *mine*!

Cyborg:
Well, let's get it started!

Raven:
So, does anyone actually *have* a plan?

Starfire:
Yes, we kick the butt!

Cyborg:
Just like old times.

Beast Boy:
Except better!

Robin:
Let's finish this!

Raven:
[pauses in the battle when she realizes her charges are following her] Okay, fine. Just stay away from anyone *older* than you.

Raven:
[flying towards the other Titans] Is it just me or is this getting easier?

Madame Rouge:
[Madame Rouge appears in front of them] Children, when will you learn? [gets tackled by Hot Spot and Wildebeest]

Raven:
Like I said....

Beast Boy:
[Robin tosses Beast Boy the Brain] Dudes, check it out. [they freeze the Brain] Brain freeze. [everyone groans]

Robin:
Cyborg, how long until we can launch?

Cyborg:
Oh, about five minutes after you *QUIT ASKING ME THAT!*

Brother Blood:
Another spy? Tell me: was anyone at my school *actually there to learn*?

Raven:
[Just after Beast Boy's whale form spits the titans out of his mouth] Two words: Breath mints.

Beast Boy:
Aquadude, what's up! Ready to watch me win all those prizes?

Aqualad:
No. But after I win, I promise to let you have my autograph.

Speedy:
May the best man win!

Robin:
I intend to.

Master of Games:
I am invincible!

Robin:
How can you be invicible if you don't have the champion of champions?

Cyborg:
[about Gizmo] Hey! What's he doing here? He's no hero I thought this was suppose to be a tournament of...

Gizmo:
[interrupts] What's the matter, robo-whip? Afraid I'll kick your stinkin' can.

Cyborg:
[goes eye-to-eye] Just try it!

Robin:
[yawn] Cyborg? It's late. And I don't think we're supposed to be out of our...

Cyborg:
Can't sleep. I tried calling home to make sure Beast Boy's okay... but I can't get a signal through.

Robin:
We're in an alternate dimension... kinda outside your calling plan. I'm sure he's fine. The Master said all the losers were sent home... safe and sound.

Cyborg:
Yeah, I know. But I've just got a bad feeling... there's something weird about this game.

Robin:
I guess it couldn't hurt to have a look around... HOOOLD ON- I know what you're doing!

Cyborg:
[question mark] What am I doing?

Robin:
You're trying to trick me again, like you did in the card game.

Cyborg:
I am?

Robin:
Sure.

[inside Robin's "Sherlock Holmes" thougt bubble]

Robin:
We'll go..."investigate" and be up ALL night and find nothing. Then you'll recharge your batteries in fifteen minutes while I get no sleep!

Cyborg:
Say WHAT?

Robin:
When round two starts, I'll be fighting fatigued, and you'll be that much closer to winning the prize.

Cyborg:
No man, for REAL! I'm just worried about BB, c'mon... winning ISN'T...

Robin:
[closing the door] Riiiiight.

[shuts door]

Cyborg:
[muttering under his breath] Crazy, paranoid, hyper-competitive, spiky-haired little-...

Robin:
I thought you didn't like to play the hero.

Red X:
Doesn't mean I don't know how.

Robin:
Who are you?

Red X:
If I wanted you to know that would I be wearing a mask?