Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time

Michelangelo:
Uh-oh turtle tantrum.

Michelangelo:
[To Kenshin] How did you get in April's pants?

Michelangelo:
(recovering) My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My spots hurt. Even my bandana hurts.

Michelangelo:
(getting ready to jump into a burning building) I don't think I'm cut out for this hero stuff.

Michelangelo:
(After escaping the burning building) Kurt Russell, eat your heart out!

Michelangelo:
(demonstrating a pizza to a villager) Ahhhh. Pi-zza. Got that, dude? Pizza! (takes a bite, but can't break the burnt crust) Frisbee, also cool. (throws it)

Michelangelo:
What if we make a major U-turn and wind up in Godzilla-land?

Michelangelo:
Oh, he who dings the shell must pay!

Michelangelo:
Smells like a geek ran thru here.

Raphael:
Ahh, nature. I love it. Makes me want to, I don't know, migrate or something.

Raphael:
Hey, Kid, you gotta control that temper. Did I say that?

Raphael:
Fightin's for grown-ups and that's only if you got no other choice.

Raphael:
Son of a snapper!

Donatello:
I think I swallowed a frog. I hope it wasn't an ancestor.

Donatello:
Later, Popeye!

Donatello:
(after landing face first in a sewage pond) Mud wrestling is definitely a spectator sport.

Donatello:
Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!

Donatello:
Turtles, it's not just a job. It's an adventure.

Donatello:
Hey, you were expecting maybe uhh, the Addams Family?

Donatello:
Gee, if we die here in the past, does that mean that we don't get born in the future?

Donatello:
Wow. Bungee jumping without a bungee. That could be dangerous.

Leonardo:
Boy do I hate spinach.

Leonardo:
Hey, Tinkerbell! Why don't you shoot us?

April O'Neil:
(in response to Walker's accusation of her being a witch) Don't push me, Ruffles, or I'll melt you into a steaming puddle of puke.

April O'Neil:
This... is the WORST rescue I've ever had!

April O'Neil:
He's scum! He's the lowest scum on the Earth. You know something? He's lower than scum... he gives scum a bad name.

Casey Jones:
What do you say we get together and bust some skulls?

Casey Jones:
(leaning on baseball bat, to Raphael) Hey Raph, how'd your brain implant go, good?

Donatello:
(explaining the Magic Scepter's function) It's equal-mass displacement! See, guys, for every one of us that goes back, someone from the past will come here. But, the problem is, that switch will only work under one condition. You know what that is?

Leonardo:
Tuesdays?

Raphael:
Uhhh, Groundhog's Day? (Donatello moans)

Kenshin:
It will only work if the magic travellers each have the same weight.

Donatello:
Bingo! Gee, you guys do have a good educational system, huh?

Casey Jones:
Enough of this camaraderie. When do we get to bust some skulls?

Leonardo:
Hang on, Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time. Sorry, guy.

Casey:
What was that? You wanna run that by me again? How come?

Raphael:
'Cos we need somebody to stay here with Splinter in case the time bandit decides to flip out again, IF that isn't too much of an inconvenience.

Splinter:
[nods in recognition, which Casey returns]

Casey:
It'd be a serious honor.

Leonardo:
(sees Michelangelo hula-ing in boxer shorts) Why are you wearing shorts?

Michelangelo:
Kenshin switched with April and got her clothes.

Leonardo:
Yeah. So?

Michelangelo:
So, this is for whoever arrives in my place, so they don't arrive bare-butt naked. (holds up more shorts) I've got three more pairs!

Splinter:
No. We have no time for this scientific debate.

Leonardo:
Yes, Master.

Michelangelo:
(dejectedly) Yeah, yeah...

Splinter:
(sighs) Kids...

Niles:
(grumbling to himself over being Walker's minion) "Bring me the woman, Niles." "Lick my boots, Niles." "Feed my birds, Niles." What's next? Roll over and play dead? (bumps into the disguised Raphael) What are you lookin' at, ya ugly lump of dung? (Raphael angrily growls, but lets them pass mostly unharmed)

Raphael:
I'm gonna get that guy! Did you hear what he called me, Leo?

Leonardo:
Yeah, an ugly lump of dung. (walks away casually)

Raphael:
That was an insult, Leo!

Donatello:
Not necessarily, Raph. Did you know that in some countries dung is used as a fuel source?

(After noticing that they are being watched by a few Japanese guards)

Donatello:
Uh, o-hi-o, wasabi.

Raphael:
(confused) "Hello mustard?"

Donatello:
Okay, so my Japanese is a little rusty. (to the guards) Uh, Suzuki, Kawasaki- (Raphael knocks them out cold)

Raphael:
How 'bout, uh, "Sayonara"?

Donatello:
That'll work!

April O'Neil:
(after being rescued from Norinaga's dungeon) Would somebody please tell me what the heck is going on around here?

Donatello:
Well relax, April. It's just your, uh, ordinary time travel equal-mass-displacement kind of thing.

April O'Neil:
(sees Donatello's blueprints for a crude replica of the Magic Scepter) You don't mean...you're not seriously suggesting that Donatello is going to make an incredibly arcane time travel machine, are you?

Turtles:
No, of course not!

Michelangelo:
That'd be totally bogus!

Raphael:
Really stupid!

April:
Well, that's a relief.

Donatello:
No, that guy's gonna make it. (points to a nearby blacksmith) He's good with his hands. (April shoves the blueprint aside and walks away)

Michelangelo:
Where're you goin', dudette?

April:
To find an apartment. I have a feeling we're gonna be here for a long, long time.

Lord Norinaga:
You may have disgraced my ancestors, but you will not disgrace me. Tonight, you will die.

Mitsu:
(paraphrasing Splinter's line to Shredder from the first film) No. We will both die... but only one of us with honor.

(strong silence from everybody)

Leonardo:
Are we in a loop here or what?

Walker:
(cornered by the Turtles at the docks) What kind of demons are you?

Leonardo:
We're turtles, friend!

Donatello:
Of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety, sleazeball.

Walker:
(slowly pulls the Scepter out of his bag) This, I believe, is what you've been searching for. ... Go fetch! (throws the Scepter into the air, getting the Turtles to panic in catching it) You really think I would make it that easy, you nasty little reptiles?!

Mikey:
Step back dudes, I just brought in some heavy artillery [laughs]

Casey Jones:
[enters the lair] Donnie, long time!

Donnie:
[waves] Eh.

Casey:
Leo, how's it goin'?

Leo:
Hey Casey, welcome back.

Casey:
Hey Raph, how's your brain implant go, good?.

Raph:
What? [Casey points and psyches him while smiling] Funny!

Casey:
Anyway enough of this camaraderie. When do we get together and bust some skulls?

Leo:
Whoa oh, hold it there Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time. Sorry, guy.

Casey:
What was that? You wanna run that by me again? How come?

Raph:
'Cos we need somebody to stay here with Splinter in case the time bandit decides to flip out again, [Leo: Yeah.] if that isn't too much of an inconvenience.

Splinter:
[nods in recognition, which Casey returns]

Casey:
It'd be a serious honor.

Splinter:
It is time to go my sons, Donatello, [Donnie looks at Splinter] We shall wait by The Scepter every 12 hours as you have instructed.

Donnie:
Ah, correct Master Splinter, But the Space-Time Continuum will be out of phase after 60 hours.

Casey:
Wait a second, Timeout, Now what does that all mean in American?

Donnie:
If we don't come back in two and a half days, We're Turtle Soup!

Leo & Raph:
Whoa!

Casey:
Bummer!

Raphael:
I just wanna know, What happened t' April?

Splinter:
It seems the scepter, has magic powers, and somehow transported them both through time.

Mikey:
Hold on, dudes! If April's back in feudal Japan, does that mean we have t' ride that scepter back through time to get her?

Splinter:
You have no choice, my son.

Mikey:
Awesome! But d'you think they had pizza back then?

Donatello:
Ah, get outta town!

Donatello:
The space-time continuum'll be outta phase after 60 hours.

Casey:
Hang on! Time out! What's that mean in American?

Donatello:
If we don't come back in two-and-a-half days… we're turtle soup.

Casey:
Bummer.

Donatello:
O wow! A leg-o-rama!

April:
Hey! I'm allowed. I'm on vacation!

Leo and Donnie:
Absolutely! Sh'wing!

Raph:
Hey Leo! Look at this water!

Leo:
I don't see anything.

Raph:
Exactly! No tires, no beer-cans, no dead fish; just… water! Clean, clear, beautiful water! Ah, Nature! I love it! Makes me wanna… I dunno… migrate or somethin'.

Donatello:
Turtles don't migrate, Raph! birds do!

Raph:
Hey! I gotta beak, don' I?

Leo:
Yeah. Okay, Turtles; let's move out!

Donnie:
You bet!

An arrow pins April's sleeve; rebel fighters enter.

Donnie:
Here comes trouble!

April:
Ambush!

Raph:
Hey! I don' kiss on th' first date, lady.

Leo:
Raph! Gi' it a rest, will ya!

Mitsu:
Don't be afraid! You're all just like the other one.

Leo and Donnie:
What? Other one? Mikey?!

Both cheer..

Mr. Whit:
Take me with you.

April:
Where? New York? No, you wouldn't fit in.

Mr. Whit:
You could teach me.

April:
No I couldn't! Look, Whit, I'm going back real soon. I don't wanna have this conversation; okay?

Yoshi:
For you, Raphael-san! I found it in the woods. Now you and the other Kappa can go home; now you'll not die.

Unwraps the scepter and hands it to Raphael

Raphael:
Son of a snapper! LEO! I FOUND IT!

Walker:
Ah, Ms. O'Neill. My partner Mr. Whit and I were just talking about your future.

April:
Yeah, well, I have a few things to say about your partner here. He's scum. He's the lowest scum of the Earth. An' you know something? He's lower than scum. He gives scum a bad name!

Walker:
Well, of course he does! That's why I hired him.

Leonardo:
We're turtles, friend!

Donatello:
Of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety, sleazeball.

Donatello:
It was Mike with the thing and the lady.

Donatello:
Uh, o-hi-o, wasabi.

Michelangelo:
Hey, guys. I'm not going back.

Michelangelo:
I said I'm staying here. I'm not going back with you.

Raphael:
I'm gonna get that guy! Did you hear what he called me, Leo?

Raphael:
It's wet willy time, Moe.

April O'Neil:
[to Michelangelo] We're going back to New York.

Splinter:
No. We have no time for this scientific debate.

Walker:
[to Niles] Bring me the woman.