Teeth

[first lines]

Bill:
Hey Brad, don't splash your sister.

Dawn:
That's what the ring is all about. The way it wraps around your finger - that's to remind you to keep your gift wrapped. Wrapped... until the day... you trade it in for that other ring. That gold ring. Get it?

Brad:
I think she bit it.

Melanie:
She who?

Brad:
Dawn.

Melanie:
A baby bit into your finger?

Melanie:
[after having anal sex] You know, I do have a perfectly good p*ssy.

Brad:
Oh I'm sure you do.

Melanie:
Well, I do and other boys like it just fine.

Brad:
Well f*** them then.

Dawn:
I think we can't go out together again. I mean, even in a group. Even in a big group.

Dawn:
Can I have a serious talk with you? About you and Melanie.

Brad:
There's no me and any b*tch.

Dawn:
Okay. From what I heard last night...

Brad:
That turn you on?

Dawn:
I know we've never been close. We've never been like sister and brother, and I really don't know why that is.

Brad:
Sure you do. You know.

Dawn:
I really don't, but whatever it is, I'd like for it to change.

Brad:
You know all that abstinence bullshit. We all know who you've been saving yourself for. And I've been real patient. You think I like living here with these a**holes?

Dawn:
Mom and dad?

Brad:
So why don't you just sit that pretty ass down.

Dawn:
The toothed vagina appears in the mythology of many and diverse cultures all over the world. In these myths, the story is always the same. The hero must do battle with the woman. The toothed creature can break her power.

Dr. Godfrey:
I imagine you have no idea what to expect.

Dawn:
Not really.

Dr. Godfrey:
Well, don't worry. I'm not going to bit ya!

Dr. Godfrey:
It's true! Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata! Vagina dentata!

Dawn:
Dentata.

Ryan:
What?

Dawn:
It's Latin for teeth.

Dawn:
Vagina dentata! It's what inside's me. The doctor said so. A hero has to come and conquer them!

Dawn:
You can't.

Ryan:
Do you want me to stop?

Dawn:
No.

Ryan:
Good.

Dawn:
But they'll get you.

Ryan:
Who?

Dawn:
The teeth.

Ryan:
Come on.

Dawn:
Seriously.

Ryan:
No, no, look. I'm conquering them. See? Yeah, I'm the hero.

Dawn:
[after having sex with Ryan] I can't believe you're still alive!

Ryan:
[to Dawn] Your mouth is saying one thing babe, but your sweet p*ssy is saying something very different.

[last lines]

Brad:
Wait! Dawn, don't leave me!

Melanie:
What is wrong with you?

Brad:
You know what? You look a lot better with a dick in your mouth.

Melanie:
F***ing bastard!

Ryan:
Hey, Brad. Uh, I'm here for Dawn.

Brad:
[looking him over] You're out of your league, p*ssy boy.

Ryan:
Excuse me?

Brad:
[moving forward] Get the f*** off my property.

Ryan:
[backing up] Hey, uh, listen, man...

[Brad punches Ryan in the face and he goes down]

Brad:
If you want any more of that, you can come by and see us again, yeah?

Tobey:
I haven't even jerked off since Easter.

Dawn:
[her vagina dentata bites down on Ryan during sex] Oh sh*t.

Surgeon:
[preparing to reattach Ryan's penis] Hardly seems worth it.