Thanks for Sharing

Mike:
Worry is just meditating on sh*t.

Mike:
Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.

Mike:
Is all of Manhattan just one big f***ing catwalk?

Mike:
It's like trying to quit crack while the pipe is attached to your body.

Mike:
It's easy to be skinny on a desert island.

Adam:
I hate everyone except for you.

Phoebe:
Yes, my tits are fake. That's what happens when your real ones try to kill you.

Neil:
No Dede, don't. Where are you?

Dede:
Outside his place.

Neil:
What? No!

Dede:
I can't help it.

Neil:
Alright. Listen to me, okay? I want you to turn around and go someplace safe. What's near you? [Dede pauses to think]

Neil:
[shouts] Think!

Dede:
Okay, f**k! The salon where I work is pretty close.

Neil:
Where is it? TELL ME!

Dede:
Damn, dude. You just got all Jack Bauer on me.

Neil:
Wow! You, like, literally transplanted a baby's butt on my face.

Phoebe:
My last boyfriend was an alcoholic and I promised myself I would never date an addict again.

Adam:
I'm not an alcoholic.

Neil:
Hi mom, I'm a little busy right now.

Roberta:
That's funny, because I wasn't too busy to give birth to you 28 years ago.

Phoebe:
I just ran a 10K.

Adam:
Okay, my... my initial reaction is to say, "well, I just ran a marathon", but I can't tell if you're joking or if you're serious.

Phoebe:
I'm as serious as cancer.

Neil:
I got fired yesterday for filming up my boss's skirt. [pause] I told her it was for a documentary called what the ground sees. [Everyone chuckles] Oddly enough, she didn't buy it.

Adam:
Oh no, our reservation!

Phoebe:
Oh, it's fine. We still have like 28 minutes.

Cabbie:
Hey, move your sh*t fat girl.

Neil:
I'm a guy, a**hole. [Pounds on the cab] a fat guy.

Mike:
I cannot believe you are voluntarily going to swim in the Hudson f***ing river.

Katie:
Mike! [Tries to stop Mike saying curse words in front of Phoebe]

Mike:
This isn't what... [to Katie] I know that she is a big girl. [to Phoebe] Sorry about the language.

Phoebe:
That's okay. I accept your f***ing apology.

Katie:
[Phoebe cries] Hey, what's wrong?

Phoebe:
I just think I'm worried about this whole addict thing, you know.

Katie:
Mmm-hmmm.

Phoebe:
I mean I just... Do you ever worry that you'll be just humming along and then, he's just gonna veer off back into the darkness?

Katie:
In my experience, the only way that I can do this is just to keep the focus on myself.

Phoebe:
Meaning?

Katie:
Meaning... ummm... What about my side of the street? What are my issues that I have to deal with? After all, I picked an addict... Says something.

Danny:
You think I could be your best man when you two get married?

Adam:
Dude, you really are Anthony Edwards.

Neil:
F*** that. I'm George Clooney.