ThanksKilling

The Killer Turkey:
Gobble, Gobble, Motherf***er!

Darren:
Looks like I got something you don't, Turkey!

The Killer Turkey:
What's that Darren... a vagina?

The Killer Turkey:
[while having sex with Ali] Damn, that was good! You just got stuffed!

The Killer Turkey:
Nice tits, b*tch!

The Killer Turkey:
Shut the f*** up, you stupid b*tch!

Kristen:
[right after a girl has lifted her shirt and shown her bra] Pull yor shirt down, honey! It's Thanksgiving, not Titsgiving!

Kristen:
Her legs are harder to close than the JonBenet Ramsey case.

Darren:
I'm gonna have sex with someone in this car. Yeah, for once, you know [looking at his hand] , it's not just gonna be by myself.

Billy:
Let me guess, it's 505 years later, right?

Darren:
No... but it will be in 45 minutes!

Ali:
Come on! I mean, it's totally impossible for a turkey to kill a human, right?

Darren:
[laughs] Oh... there are ways.

Darren:
It was just a story, Kristen, I doubt it's even true.

Darren:
Not just any beak. A turkey beak.

Johnny:
Mom, you know me and poppa don't talk anymore. Ever since I got put at second-string quarterback he hasn't even wanted to talk to me.

Johnny:
One extra small gravy-flavored condom?

Kristen:
My dad has a huge collection of books. I'm sure he has something on killer turkeys.

Billy:
I hate books! Why can't it just tell us what to do?

The Killer Turkey:
It almost did, but it didn't.

Johnny:
He's dead... unless he fell in some radioactive waste. But what are the odds of that happening?

Kristen:
Don't be silly, that only happens in movies.

Johnny:
You know, in a way, I'm glad this happened. I may have lost my parents, but I gained a girlfriend.

Johnny:
[as he lay dying] I wish I could call a time out...

Sheriff Roud:
Oh, by the way, your stepmomma left me. Love you, bye!

Darren:
Turkeyologists all over the world know it as... Thankskilling!

Kristen:
I guess I was just a little beaked out - uhh, I mean freaked out.

Billy:
We gotta find a way to kill that cockblocking turkey!

You kids are retarded