The 39 Steps

Richard Hannay:
I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel.

Richard Hannay:
There are 20 million women in this island and I've got to be chained to you.

Annabella Smith:
Have you ever heard of the 39 Steps?

Richard Hannay:
No. What's that, a pub?

[trying to quiet the brawling audience]

Music hall announcer:
Gentlemen, please! You're not at home!

[a flock of sheep block the road as the car screeches to a halt]

Richard Hannay:
Hello, what are we stopping for? Oh it's a whole flock of detectives.

[Screaming out to Mr. Memory at the Music Hall]

Richard Hannay:
What are The 39 Steps?

Mr. Memory:
Am I Right Sir?

Mr. Memory:
The 39 Steps is an organization of spies collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of... [interrupted by gunshot, collapses]

Sheriff Watson:
And this bullet stuck among the hymns, eh? Well, I'm not surprised Mr. Hannay. Some of those hymns are terrible hard to get through.

[first lines]

Music hall announcer:
Ladies and Gentleman, with your kind attention, and permission, I have the honor of presenting to you one of the most remarkable men in the world.

Heckler in Audience:
How remarkable? He's sweating!

Richard Hannay:
Are you married?

The Milkman:
Yes, but don't rub it in.

Man (with wife) in audience:
What about Pip, in poultry?

Richard Hannay:
How far is Winnipeg from Montreal?

Mr. Memory:
A gentleman from Canada. You're welcome, sir. Winnipeg, the third city of Canada and the capital of Manitoba. Distance from Montreal: 1424 miles.

Richard Hannay:
Out for adventure, eh?

Annabella Smith:
That's right.

Richard Hannay:
Beautiful, mysterious woman pursued by gunmen. Sounds like a spy story.

Annabella Smith:
That's exactly what it is.

Boy in audience:
What won the Cup in 1926?

Mr. Memory:
Cup? Waterloo? Football? Or Tea, Sir?

Boy in audience:
Football, silly

Heckler in Audience:
When did Chelsea win it?

Mr. Memory:
63BC in the presence of the Emperor Nero!

Heckler in Audience:
How old is Mae West? How old is Mae West?

Richard Hannay:
[Hannay escapes onto the stage at a political rally and has to make an impromptu speech] Ladies and gentleman I apologise for my hesitation in rising just now, but to tell you the simple truth I'd entirely failed while listening to the chairman's flattering description of the next speaker to realise that he was talking about me.