The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Hollywood Follies

Indiana Jones:
Where do I come in?

Carl Laemmle:
You don't come in. You go out.

Indiana Jones:
Go out, where?

Carl Laemmle:
To Hollywood. As my personal representative. I want you to get out there and take charge. Tell that lunatic Von Stroheim he finishes the picture in ten days, or else you pull the plugs.

Indiana Jones:
Excuse me, sir, do you know Universal Studios?

Cabbie:
The funny farm? Yeah, who doesn't!

Erich Von Stroheim:
Tell Mr. Laemmle only Von Stroheim decides to fade away Von Stroheim picture. Not some stupid, ignorant, pathetic, imbecile errant boy. [turns to his crew] Places now. We begin.

Indiana Jones:
Listen, I'm getting tired of horsing around.

Erich Von Stroheim:
Von Stoheim never horses around.

Claire Lieberman:
The day I lose Tony is the day I lose my sense of humor. If I lose that I may as well die.

Indiana Jones:
Who the heck is Prince Massimo?

Irving Thalberg:
A real Italian prince Von Stoheim brought in specially.

Claire Lieberman:
Von loves his accent.

Indiana Jones:
Loves his accent, but, but, but, but there's no sound! These are silent pictures, send him back!

Claire Lieberman:
[to Indy] That's Hollywood for you: studio exec one day, gopher the next.

John Ford:
Indy? Where'd you get a name like that, from your dog?

Indiana Jones:
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.

John Ford:
Well, I suppose it's as good a name as Ford.

John Ford:
Well, you're named after a dog, I'm named after a car, we should get along fine.

John Ford:
Ladies and gentlemen, I think Mr. Jones misses his woman.

Old Timer:
Well then he should get himself a horse.

Kitty:
Talk is cheap in this business, kid.

Indiana Jones:
Yeah, maybe you're right.

Kitty:
Of course I'm right. Couple of years you'll be digging up some Egyptian Pharao's tomb and you won't even be thinking about her.

Edwin:
[laughs] I've never seen run so fast as when you saw that snake

Indiana Jones:
I hate snakes.

Edwin:
What are you afraid of?

Indiana Jones:
It's a long story.

John Ford:
You don't mind acting with a corpse, do you, Kitty?

Kitty:
What's new?

Claire Lieberman:
Do you always write like this?

Indiana Jones:
What do you mean?

Claire Lieberman:
[sighs before starting to read his letter] No one can stop me loving you, Clair, but I'm just not the right man for you. You need someone steady, reliable and smart. Like old Tony. I nearly vomited over my waffles when I read this.

Claire Lieberman:
Are you sure you don't want to stay, Indy?

Indiana Jones:
[walking with crutches] I think I'll stick to archeology. Safer.