The Aristocats

Thomas O'Malley:
[to Duchess] Boy, your eyes really are like sapphires!

Thomas O'Malley:
Hey! Mee-yow! What a classy neighborhood! Dig these fancy wig-wams!

Thomas O'Malley:
Hey there, Scat Cat, blow some o' that sweet stuff my way!

Toulouse:
Females never fight fair!

Toulouse:
But he called us tramps!

Lafayette:
Well, where's my beddy-bye basket?!

Lafayette:
Aw, cricket bugs don't wear shoes!

Marie:
Ladies do NOT start fights, but they can finish them!

Berlioz:
But he had a mouth like a "hippolotamus"!

Duchess:
"Swinger"? What is a "swinger"?

[As the kittens try to get through their pet door]

Marie:
Me first! Me first!

Toulouse:
Why should you be first?

Marie:
'Cause I'm a lady. That's why.

Toulouse:
[scoffs] You're not a lady.

Berlioz:
You're nothin' but a sister!

Marie:
I'll show you if I'm a lady or not.

Edgar:
[sings as he puts sleeping pills in the cat's cream]

Rock-a-bye kitties. Bye-bye you go. [looks at the instructions on the bottle, then casually throws in more pills]

La la la la, and I'm in the dough!

Oh, Edgar, you sly old fox!

[hums as he finishes the cream]

[Duchess and her kittens are trapped]

Toulouse:
I told you it was Edgar.

Berlioz:
Aw, shut up, Toulouse!

Lafayette:
I still say it was a li'l old cricket bug.

Napoleon:
Wait a minute! I'm the leader! I'll decide what is was! [pause] It was a li'l old cricket bug.

Napoleon:
Now you go for the tires, and I'll go right for the seat of the problem.

Lafayette:
Now, how come you always get the tender part? [He stumbles on his own ear]

Napoleon:
Because I outrank you, that's why. Now stop beating your gums and sound the attack!

[Lafayette barks several times]

Napoleon:
No, that's mess call!

Lafeyette:
Ha ha, makin' a mess of it huh?

Napoleon:
YOU can be REPLACED, you know.

O'Malley:
One magic carpet coming up.

Duchess:
That's a magic carpet?

[O'Malley jumps on the hood of the milk truck and screeches]

Milkman:
SACREBLEU!

O'Malley:
[Screeches as the milkman stops his truck]

Milkman:
SAPRISTI! Stupid cat! Brainless lunatic! [starts his truck]

Duchess:
Why, Mr. O'malley, you are amazing.

O'Malley:
True. true.

Milkman:
[After noticing the cats in his rearview mirror, much to his shock] SAPRISTI! [cats screech after the milkman stops too fast] SACREBLEU! [as the cats run out of the milkman's truck] THIEVES! ROBBERS! MANGY TRAMPS! TAKE THAT! AND THAT!

Lafeyette:
D-D-D-D-Did y' see him?

Napoleon:
No, no, he sneaked up behind me and tailgated me.

Lafeyette:
Well he didn't hurt me; he hit me on the head!

O'Malley:
Ya know something? I like Uncle Waldo.

Duchess:
Especially when he's marinated.

Napoleon:
It's a one-wheeled....

Lafeyette:
A one-wheeled what?

Napoleon:
You're not gonna believe this, but it's a one-wheeled haystack- And there it goes!

[last lines]

Lafayette:
Hey, Napoleon. This looks like the end.

Napoleon:
Wait a minute. I'm the leader. I'll say when it's the end.

[the words "The End" hit him on the head]

Napoleon:
It's the end.

[Roquefort arrives in the alley where Scat Cat and his gang hang out; Scat Cat snatches him and holds him up.]

Scat Cat:
What's a little swinger like you doin' on our side of town?

Roquefort:
Oh, please, I was sent here for help! By a cat!

Scat Cat:
Why this is outrageous! It's crazy!

Roquefort:
Honest! He told me just to mention his name!

Billy Boss:
So? Start mentioning names, rodent!

Roquefort:
Oh, now, wait a minute. D-don't rush me. His name is- O'Toole.

Scat Cat:
I don't dig him. Strike one.

Roquefort:
O... O'Brien!

Scat Cat:
Strike two.

Roquefort:
Oh, boy. You believe me, don't you?

Hit Cat:
Keep talkin', Mousy.

Roquefort:
How about... O... Grady?

Scat Cat:
Mousy, you just struck out. Any last words?

Roquefort:
Oh, why did I listen to that O'Malley cat?!

[During "Ev'rybody Wants to be a Cat" Berlioz and Shun Gon play the piano. The latter plays an East Asian riff using two pairs of chopsticks]

Shun Gon:
Shanghai Hong Kong egg foo young! [giggles] Fortune Cookie always wrong! [giggles again and looks at Berlioz] Oh, what a hard one!

[Just at this time, two white geese come walking over the top of the hill. Named Amelia and Abigail, they are sisters on holiday from England]

Abigail:
What beautiful countryside.

Amelia:
Yes. So much like our own darling England. [She glances toward the river] I say, look over there. [Her sister's eyes widen. O'Malley, trying to save himself, is clutching a willow branch that is overhanging the river] Fancy that...a cat learning to swim. He's going about it all the wrong road.

Abigail:
We must correct him. [She always exists that everything be done in the correct manner]

[The two geese waddle down the bank and slip into the river]

Amelia:
Sir...sir! We're here to help you. You will never learn to swim properly with that willow branch in your mouth. [She bites into O'Malley's lifeline] Snip, snip. Here we go!

O'Malley:
Don't do that! Blub! [Then he sinks like a stone under the water]

Abigail:
Oh, he takes to water like a fish, doesn't he?

[Bubbles begin to form on the surface of the water. The geese look worried]

Abigail:
Gracious, Amelia....you don't suppose....?

[Amelia realizes what her sister means. Poor O'Malley may be drowning. The two sisters dive down to the bottom of the riverbed]