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Ed Earl:
Mona we've been together for a long time sometimes I think you know better than I know myself so you know how this is for me to say I love you Will you marry me?

Miss Mona:
Oh Ed Earl I've loved you since I was 16 years old but I thought about this for a long time as much as I love it to work I know deep down in my heart it ain't never gonna work.

Ed Earl:
Didn't you hear what I said?

Miss Mona:
I did darling there just ain't noway in this world for it to work.

Miss Mona:
You know what burns my ass? A flame about three feet high!

Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd:
It's slicker than cat sh*t on linoleum floor!

Deputy Fred:
Everyone loves Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd, especially Ed Earl Dodd.