The Bionic Woman

Jaime Sommers:
Harry, you gotta be about the sweetest guy that ever lived. How come some lady hasn't snatched you up yet?

Harry Anderson:
Well, cause I always say no. I've been waiting for you, honey but I should have known that by the time you grew up I'd be way too old for ya.

Jaime Sommers:
You're not old.

Jaime Sommers:
I used to drive you to school when you were a teenager.

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, and I was in love with you then, so that has nothing to do with it.

Jaime Sommers:
And Harry, trust me, al right? My friend Oscar's been known to do miracles.

Jaime Sommers:
How are you feeling?

Harry Anderson:
Like I'm waking up from a fifteen year nightmare.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, we'd better get some help.

Harry Anderson:
I think you're about all the help a fellow needs. Thanks, Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
We have a little surprise for you too, kiddo. We've got Stone already in confinement.

Col. Steve Austin:
You guys don't fool around, do ya?

Jaime Sommers:
[in a playful child-like adoring tone that dates from way back to her teenage years, when Harry was her kindly warm-mannered school bus driver] You know, Harry, you've gotta be about the sweetest guy that ever lived... how come some lady hasn't snatched you up yet?

Harry Anderson:
Huh? 'Cause I always SAY NO. [thinks for a moment, then turns back to Jaime with twinkling eyes] And I was waiting for YOU, honey. But I shoulda known that by the time you grew up enough, I'd be too old for you.

Jaime Sommers:
[in humorous reference to Harry's praising her about having transformed her formerly-fractious students into "little angels", but yet she has just then confiscated a water-pistol from one of them as he was about to board the bus] "Little angels", huh? They fill these things with ICE WATER.

Harry Walker:
[to Jaime] Arrangements have a way of getting screwed up in this part of the world, cookie.

Harry Walker:
How about that? Well first a hangover saved my life and now a shot of booze gives me the strength of a bull elephant. My life must be changing.

Harry Walker:
Didn't think The Princess had it in her? What do you think of her now?

Jaime Sommers:
Old war trucks never die.

Harry Walker:
Don't like to admit you're wrong, do you?

Jaime Sommers:
Nope, it's been a problem since childhood.

Azzar:
For my friends I offer food and shelter. My enemies are not deserving of my kindness. Now which are you?

Leona Mumbassa:
Jaime, I want to thank you for all you have done, but... we will take it from here.

Jaime Sommers:
Well... I really think I can do it better myself.

Leona Mumbassa:
Why? Because you are white?

Jaime Sommers:
No!

Jaime Sommers:
Blacks are tired of depending on whites to solve our problems! We have been betrayed too many times. We don't need outside help anymore.

Jaime Sommers:
Leona, I'm not saying it because I'm white. I'm saying it because I have special qualifications.

Mango:
Someone's coming. Gotta split!

Benny:
I'm not finished, man.

Mango:
Come on, man, boogie!

Oscar Goldman:
[on phone] Jaime, how would you like to go back to college?

Mr. 'A.A.':
Hey, this doesn't look like the physics building to me.

Jaime Sommers:
You're power of observation is astonishing.

Benny:
[notices Jaime is being bothered] Robin Hood to the rescue. Mango?

Mango:
[off screen] What?

Benny:
Give me a big shake.

Mr. 'A.A.':
[touching Jaime's leg] Now there are plenty of other astonishing things about me...

Jaime Sommers:
Will you please get lost, I am not interested, okay?

Jaime Sommers:
Who knows the most about programming?

Benny:
Eh, Thorpe, I guess, but believe me, this guy is a turkey. You know, he goes into hiding every thanksgiving.

Benny:
You know, you don't hardly look like the electronics type.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, I don't do I? Well, you'll be surprised what's under this skin of mine.

Benny:
Yeah, well I like surprises.

Jaime Sommers:
Well Oscar, you sure do know how to sweep a girl off her feet.

Oscar Goldman:
Do you realize how much money we could make if I patented you as a household tool?

Jaime Sommers:
Well I don't know what youre worried about, Starkey.

Jack Starkey:
Bullets, mostly.

Jaime Sommers:
Well nobody's gonna shoot at a medical team.

Jack Starkey:
No, they'll give us Hershey bars, right? Wrong.

Jack Starkey:
Me carry him? Not in a blue moon, a month of Sundays or till Biloxi Mississippi freezes over am I walking through the jungle with a kid on my back and that's final.

Jack Starkey:
We're gonna have to hide in the jungle.

Jaime Sommers:
The jungle? What happened to the plane?

Jack Starkey:
It's hopeless. It's got pretzels for landing gear.

Jaime Sommers:
Well is this the time when you give me twenty lashes and throw me in irons?

Lucky Harrison:
Yeah, sure, if that's the sort of thing you're into. But it'd be just as easy for me to call a couple of my men and throw you overboard.

Jaime Sommers:
You'd better get more than a couple, I can handle myself pretty well.

Lucky Harrison:
And miss Winter?

Jaime Sommers:
Yes, Mr. Harrison.

Lucky Harrison:
If my men would have thrown you overboard, eight to five says you would have made it back ashore safely.

Jaime Sommers:
With my skill and determination?

Lucky Harrison:
No, I thought floating. On your inflated ego.

Creighton:
Do you deal or shuffle the spots of the cards?

Romero:
Coffee, tea or me?

Jaime Sommers:
I beg your pardon?

Romero:
May I fluff your pillow?

Creighton:
How would you like to get your head fluffed?

Grover:
Birds belong in the crowsnest, not in the wheelhouse.

Oscar Goldman:
[on walkie talkie] Jaime, maybe I'd better get you off of there.

Jaime Sommers:
[on receiver] Now Oscar, you know all us OSI agents always go down with our ships.

Oscar Goldman:
That's not funny.

Romero:
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: we have a little problem, but , eh, really there's nothing to be allarmed about. Eh, on board, eh, we have a bomb that's gonna go off any minute. [the other passengers laugh at him] You will follow my instructions. Women [kisses a lady's hand] and children first. [more laughter and louder] Yes, no children. Disregard my first order.

Jaime Sommers:
I need your help, but it might be dangerous.

Romero:
I don't even know the meaning of the word.

Romero:
Your command is my wish, huh, my capitan.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, what happened to the Ice Man?

Oscar Goldman:
Oh, he's safe, I put him in the eh, cooler.

Oscar Goldman:
Hi, where's Kim?

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, she's out having diner with Helen and Jim.

Oscar Goldman:
Well I've brought her medical record I thought it might be of help to you.

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar, I can't read bionically, what's in here?

Oscar Goldman:
John Cross was on a covert mission in Vietnam when the South Vietnamese army collapsed. He left his wife and Kim in a village that they promised would be protected by the US armored unit. The whole thing got snafu'd. The tanks failed to get the orders to move up. There was a Vietcong mortar barrage. Kim's mother died in her arms. According to the medical report, when they found her, she was still holding her. She hasn't talked since.

Major John Cross:
I don't know why Goldman insisted we use a chopper.

Jaime Sommers:
Well that's a special consession from Oscar to me. I've had some pretty unpleasant memories of parachutes.

Major John Cross:
[giving Jaime survival training] Come on, you'll have to keep up with me or I'll leave you behind.

Major John Cross:
We'll need a fire. Know how to start one without matches?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, rub two Boy Scouts together.

Jaime Sommers:
I have the distinct feeling that I am being ditched.

Major John Cross:
What are you doing here?

Jaime Sommers:
I'm watching for roadrunners, what are you doing here?

Helen Elgin:
Jaime, that child is a one girl wave of destruction.

Jaime Sommers:
I am very tempted to give you a spanking that you'd never forget. But that's probably how everyone else reacts, isn't it, huh?

Jaime Sommers:
I don't think that John's a traitor. I think he's just another casualty of that war.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Darwin? You alright? How do you feel?

Darwin Jones:
Very refreshed.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
wish you wouldn't go that far under without warning me!

Darwin Jones:
I'm sorry. Did I startle you?

Jaime Sommers:
Well, you scared the... [coughs] out of me.

Oscar Goldman:
Hello, Dopey - I read you fine. We're bouncing your signal via communication satellite from Munich. How are you?

Jaime Sommers:
Dopey is fine, but... uh... Doc has come along for the ride.

Oscar Goldman:
Doc?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, Doc Darwin.

Jaime Sommers:
Hey, I'm sorry about the way I grabbed you back there.

Darwin Jones:
I'm sorry I didn't have the time to take advantage of it.

Jaime Sommers:
How do you feel about a little Bionic boost?

Darwin Jones:
You're on.

Jaime Sommers:
Okay, give me your foot, sir.

Jaime Sommers:
I've been trying those exercises that you taught me, and I feel a lot more relaxed and in touch with myself since I have.

Darwin Jones:
Have you been in touch with your stomach lately?

Jaime Sommers:
Huh?

Darwin Jones:
I thought you were going to take me to lunch!

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar look, before I put on this sash and go in there and make a fool out of myself, why don't you call this agent and make sure he wasn't joking, I mean this is a pretty silly message.

Oscar Goldman:
I can't do that.

Jaime Sommers:
Why?

Oscar Goldman:
They found this agent this morning. Face down in the river Seine.

Jaime Sommers:
Snorkeling?

Oscar Goldman:
Dead.

Jaime Sommers:
Hi, I'm Jaime Sommers.

Sally Bartell, Miss Florida:
Miss California, you're the replacement, aren't ya?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah. Second string. We can still be friends, huh?

Sally Bartell, Miss Florida:
Friends? There's no miss Congeniality award in this contest, honey.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, I...

Sally Bartell, Miss Florida:
Look, every girl here wants that crown badly. You're not gonna make friends, just friendly enemies.

Brady, Stage Manager:
[about Jaime] She was talking on an outside line to somebody called Oscar. There's an Oscar Goldman, you know, who works for the OSI.

Ray Raymond:
There's also an Oscar Mayer who makes weiners. Probably just a boyfriend.

Brady, Stage Manager:
[Helen has been caught using an outside line] Who were you talking to? Oscar who?

Helen Elgin:
Oscar Lipschitz, he's an old beau of mine from college, whenever I'm in his area I always call him up, and...

Jaime Sommers:
[about to start the swimsuit competition] I feel like a side of beef, how do I look?

Helen Elgin:
Terrific.

Jaime Sommers:
You know I really liked by old legs better. I think they were better.

Ray Raymond:
You feeling better, Miss California?

Jaime Sommers:
Yes, I needed a rest. You know, the excitement of all of this kinda snuck up and grabbed me from behind.

Jaime Sommers:
Anyway the proverb is: as the queen flies to Paris on her falcon, so must we continue the search for our goals.

Ray Raymond:
This doesn't make sense.

Jaime Sommers:
I certainly hope it does to someone.

Oscar Goldman:
And all this time I thought you were just a pretty face.

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar, I am Miss United States!

Manfred Carstairs:
How is my dear brother?

Barlow:
At death's door, sir. I doubt if he'll last the night.

Manfred Carstairs:
Oh... that's too bad.

Manfred Carstairs:
[glancing at a portrait of his brother] Such bad taste.

Cyrus Carstairs:
Barlow, how would you like to be a wealthy man?

Barlow:
I have no objections, sir.

Cyrus Carstairs:
You have all the qualifications for inherited wealth. Spineless... slavish to superiors... arrogant to inferiors. My will states the value I have placed on your years of faithful service: two cents.

Manfred Carstairs:
How are you feeling Cyrus? Are you in pain?

Cyrus Carstairs:
Yes. And it's grown more acute since you've entered the room

Cyrus Carstairs:
I had the save designed with you in mind: burglar proof.

Manfred Carstairs:
That's cruel, Cyrus.

Cyrus Carstairs:
I had a terrible time deciding which one of you should get my money. I hate you all so much...

Boatman:
No one round here be fool enough to set foot on Lafitte island and maybe run into the creature.

Jaime Sommers:
Creature? What creature?

Boatman:
Well, most think it is just a trick of old Cyrus to scare trespassers away. [laughs nervously]

Jaime Sommers:
What do the rest say?

Boatman:
[crosses himself] Unholy things happened in the old days when the Lafitte Pirates ruled the swamp... [nervously] Me, I don't believe a word of it.

Jaime Sommers:
[sarcastically] That's encouraging.

Manfred Carstairs:
[Jaime is posing as cousin Tracy] Yes, well, I'm delighted to see you again my dear, but you've changed... almost too much. Especially your eyes. There's none of the Carstairs look about them. Strange...

Oscar Goldman:
[on CB in hotel room] Jaime! How's it going?

Jaime Sommers:
[on walkie talkie at Lafitte Island] Well, pretty bad. There's already been an attempt on my life.

Oscar Goldman:
Listen, if it's that dangerous, you'd better get out of there.

Jaime Sommers:
How? The water around this island is filled with snakes and alligators and this house is filling up with Carstairs.

Aunt Tess:
How sweet of dear Cyrus to leave everything to me. If he'd said, eh, the most beautiful, I would have known he meant Claudette. She's really quite pretty in a tawdrey sort of way... But it took more than the gaudy to sway dear Cyrus.

Andrew Warfield:
Well, he put his will on a TV cassette.

Manfred Carstairs:
Hm!

Andrew Warfield:
He wanted to tell us what was in it personally.

Claudette:
Why, there's no television set in this house!

Barlow:
Oh, yes there is, Miss Claudette [holds up keys]

Aunt Tess:
Why was it kept locked?

Barlow:
He didn't want the servants wasting time watching it.

Manfred Carstairs:
Oh, but you had the key, hm? [chuckles] Oh, your easy days are over, Barlow.

Manfred Carstairs:
[watching Cyrus present his will on video tape] Doesn't he look wonderful? All things concidered a most handsome man.

Cyrus Carstairs:
[on video tape] Oh, eh Warfield is allowed in the hunt too, because he has proven over so many years that he can't do anything right anyway.

Barlow:
Something wrong, miss?

Jaime Sommers:
Well, Aunt Claudette just disappeared.

Barlow:
Oh, she's been doing that for years, miss. The first time was when she married the Polish Count. And then she just dropped out of sight when met the Buenes Aires gentleman.

Jaime Sommers:
No, no, no, she just disappeared from that room.

Barlow:
Hm. Was there a gentleman with her?

Manfred Carstairs:
What would you want if we found that box together?

Jaime Sommers:
[thinks for a moment] There is an envelope that's probably just among his personal papers. You may have all the rest.

Manfred Carstairs:
What's so valuable about that envelope?

Jaime Sommers:
I am a philatelist.

Manfred Carstairs:
Philato-what?

Jaime Sommers:
A stamp collector.

Oscar Goldman:
[showing Jaime slides of the infamous Carstairs family members] And this is Claudette - - married six times, divorced twice, widowed four times.

Jaime Sommers:
[shocked] FOUR TIMES? How'd they die?

Oscar Goldman:
[with a grim smile] Probably from overdoses of CLAUDETTE.

Jaime Sommers:
[about the hairdressing salon] Ya'll have a very busy place here.

John Bernard:
Yeah, well, it's getting there. Someday I'd like to have every congress woman, senator's wife and even the first lady come in here.

Jaime Sommers:
You're also very ambitious.

Peggy Callahan:
Hey listen kid?

John Bernard:
Yeah?

Peggy Callahan:
How about a wash and a set? I mean I could really use it, look at this thing [takes off her hat]

John Bernard:
For you my love, the world. How 'bout you, Jaime, you wanna get done too?

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, no thanks.

John Bernard:
You sure?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, but I'll take a rain check.

Peggy Callahan:
[on phone in bed] What's all this about? I mean why are you dragging him into this?

Jaime Sommers:
[on other line, also in bed] Because I think he's doing more to our heads than just making them look good. And I'm gonna go to his salon and find out.

Jaime Sommers:
That's a cheap shot, Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
Now what?

John Bernard:
Now we're going to move into the cutting room for a nice shampoo. Then I'm going to sell you to the highest bidder.

Jaime Sommers:
Callahan knows where I am.

John Bernard:
Sure. Even if she does, she's not going to help you. Not after what she thinks you did to her.

Jaime Sommers:
You don't give her much credit.

Jaime Sommers:
I never did. Frankly, Callahan was an easy target.

Antonio Pinedo:
I sometimes wonder about the suspicious nature of man. How he can doubt the word of his best and dearest friend. And their motives.

Jaime Sommers:
I guess sometimes it just happens. Especially when the best friend thinks that you're trying to turn 'em in or steal their boyfriend? My word!

John Bernard:
[on the taped subliminal message] You will wake up and feel better than you have in years.

Jaime Sommers:
[sarcastically, now that she knows for sure that she and Callahan have been unconsciously brainwashed into revealing what they did] I feel BETTER ALREADY...!

Andrew:
[to Paco] Look, I don't know what they called you before, but on this reservation we're gonna call you 'Throwing Bull'.

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar, do I really have to watch this? Parachute jumping isn't exactly my favorite subject since the accident.

Paco:
I have gone through the ceremony of manhood. Alone, for three nights, on a high place in the desert. I am an Indian. I am a man. I have made the cuts. I have dreamed of my totem animal, the great bear.

Andrew:
I was barely able to bare listening to those bare facts.

Elora:
He's never been on any reservation. He gets all his information about his Indian heritage from that book. It's his bible.

Jaime Sommers:
Marcus Carter? You know who this guy is? He was a third rate writer that never got out of Brooklyn.

Elora:
White man? You mean Paco's learning about his Indian heritage from a book written by a white man who never even saw the West?

Oscar Goldman:
Hey... you alright?

Jaime Sommers:
I think you'd better call a blacksmith, Oscar.

Oscar Goldman:
Huh?

Jaime Sommers:
I hit so hard, I'm bowlegged.

Andrew:
Hey did you train the shark?

Susan Victor:
No, all of my animals are the four legged kind.

Jaime Sommers:
[an elephant has stepped on Jaime's foot] It's fine, it's really okay.

Susan Victor:
Do you know how much weight he had on it? Oh Jaime, your foot should be crushed.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, well, he obviously didn't put all his weight on it.

Jaime Sommers:
[having difficulty falling asleep amongst the wild animals] Oscar, I hope you never send me on a safari...

Bill Elgin:
I think he's heading North.

Jaime Sommers:
Must be a little Indian in ya there, Bill.

Bill Elgin:
Just a little.

Jaime Sommers:
Neil, now I've got a pretty good right arm here, if you're coming in for another bite man, I'm gonna have to deck ya.

Dr. Henry Klempt:
Well, you certainly arrived quickly.

Anton Dasovic:
I would have sprouted wings if I had to.

Oscar Goldman:
We've got to get those devices planted and checked. It's very important to us. And besides, if you, a beautiful, frail young woman is ready to go down there after what's happened, I'm counting on the men's macho to keep them from backing out.

Jaime Sommers:
I thought... uh... chauvinism was a thing of the past.

Chet Marsden:
There's only one little problem... she doesn't look much like a diver to me.

Oscar Goldman:
Well, just because she's prettier than you guys, don't be misled. She's had a lot of diving experience.

Jaime Sommers:
If anything funky happens down there...

Commander Jed Kimball:
What?

Jaime Sommers:
You know what I'd love? I would love it if we could both talk about the same thing at the same time.

Commander Jed Kimball:
Oh, yeah.

Jaime Sommers:
Okay?

Commander Jed Kimball:
Yeah.

Jaime Sommers:
Alright.

Commander Jed Kimball:
Alright. Now...

Jaime Sommers, Commander Jed Kimball:
...about this weekend

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Plato here is the product of an accidental drug discovery I made four months ago. I call it Adrenalizine.

Lisa Galloway:
[posing as Jaime Sommers] Adrenalizine?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
It's a plastic compound, it works about the same as our own adrenaline.

Guard:
Galloway? Galloway?

Woman Convict:
That's you, Galloway.

Guard:
Listen honey, I'm sick of your Jaime Sommers routine. If you don't start answering, to your own name or, you'll find yourself in solitary. Got it?

Dr. Harkens:
[after Jamie, was knocked out from sedative and, Dr. Harkens unfolds a photo of Lisa Galloway's real face] Lisa? Tomorrow, you're going to get your own face back. You're going to look like, yourself again.

George Ohanian:
Without a doubt, you are the best looking courier Rudy has ever send here.

Lisa Galloway:
I bet you say that to all couriers.

George Ohanian:
And eh, have you anything you'd like to give us?

Lisa Galloway:
A cheerful goodbye. Goodbye!

Dr. James Courtney:
[on phone] You'll be able to afford anything you've ever dreamed of.

Lisa Galloway:
[on other line] Not everything. There are some things that money won't buy you know

Dr. James Courtney:
Not many when you've got ten million dollars.

Dr. James Courtney:
Jaime Sommers is in a prison grave wearing Lisa Galloway's face. If your adrenalizine is missing, she's the one who's got it.

Oscar Goldman:
I don't think so, Courtney.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Plato's dead, and if you don't get to Ojai soon, Lisa will be too.

Jaime Sommers:
[Walking, up the stairs] Lisa? Lisa, are you up here?

Lisa Galloway:
Who are you?

Jaime Sommers:
I'm someone, who wants to help you.

Lisa Galloway:
I don't need, any help.

Jaime Sommers:
What you're feeling, is the adrenalizine. Lisa, it's poison.

Lisa Galloway:
No! you stay away, from me.

Jaime Sommers:
Lisa?

Lisa Galloway:
My name is Jaime. I'm Jaime Sommers.

Jaime Sommers:
No, I am Jaime. Your name is, Lisa Galloway and, you need some help.

Lisa Galloway:
NO! [Slamming a chunk, out of Jaime's table] . See what I can do! I'm Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
That, was Jaime's favorite table. If you were here, you wouldn't have done that. It's the adrenalizine Lisa, it's how you're getting your strength and, it's gonna kill you, if you don't stop eating it!

Lisa Galloway:
YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME! [Throwing a chair at Jaime but, Jaime dodges it]

Dr. Elijah Cooper:
[on TV screen] It is awesome, isn't it? Supreme devastation. But let me tell you this, my friends: It is only a very small scale compared to what will happen the next time, such a nuclear detonation occurs. Because I have now created a device that can render the entire world lifeless.

Dr. Elijah Cooper:
It's not money that I want, friend, it's peace. World peace.

Dr. Elijah Cooper:
If any country anywhere explodes a thermal nuclear bomb in the atmosphere, either for testing, or for warfare, it will trigger an irreversible chain of events here, and in six hours, the doomsday device will detonate. And life on Earth will be ended.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
So you intend to blackmail the world into peace?

Dr. Elijah Cooper:
I hope so, Dr. Wells.

Dr. Elijah Cooper:
The choice is clear and simple, my friends: it is peace, or oblivion.

ALEX 7000:
The central core housing the Doomsday device is more than a mile underground and I have sufficient defences to stop you. I am programmed to show no mercy. You will die if you make the attempt.

Jaime Sommers:
So, then it is a duel between you and me.

ALEX 7000:
Yes. May the best... one win.

ALEX 7000:
Jaime, you are running at 57.384 miles per hour, Jaime. this is not normal. Would you tell me about yourself, Jaime?

Jaime Sommers:
Some other time.

ALEX 7000:
But you have plenty of time now. You won't get down to level 3.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
It may be possible for me to neutralize the Doomsday device.

Oscar Goldman:
What? How?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
By encasing a cobalt bomb in strontium 90 and then exploding it directly on top of the uthenium bomb.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Exploding it, on top of the Doomsday device, on top of Jaime?

Oscar Goldman:
Don't you think I know that? How do you think I feel?

ALEX 7000:
That's quite an unusual arm. What's it made of?

Jaime Sommers:
Sugar and spice!

ALEX 7000:
That does not compute. I can see I'll have to look for myself.

ALEX 7000:
I'm really sorry my voice displeases you. Under different circumstances perhaps you might like it.

Jaime Sommers:
[struggling downstairs with a damaged leg] I doubt it.

ALEX 7000:
You might. After all, in a way, we're cousins.

Jaime Sommers:
What are you talking about?

ALEX 7000:
That's right, think about it: you're a human with the parts of a machine and I am a machine with the mind of a human.

ALEX 7000:
Well, bully for you!

Jaime Sommers:
Cousins. When I think about it, it seems regretful that I must try to stop you. [sets off a loud claxon that startles Jaime so much she falls down the stairs]

Jaime Sommers:
[shouting] Alex, snakes don't have a volume control!

Jaime Sommers:
[about Dr. Cooper] He told me that you never appreciate life as much as you do when you're closest to death. And today he took every leader of the world to his own funeral and let them feel death right up close. I mean what could be a better inspiration for living in peace than that?

Dmitri Muskov:
But will they remember it tomorrow?

Jaime Sommers:
[reading the lyrics Sandy wrote for her while he plays his mandolin] My love is as deep as the ocean and as far as the stars in the sky. And I will follow you and I will stay with you till all the seas run dry. For my love for you is my poetry and the song that I sing you is true. There is love in my heart, that will stay in my heart all my life, I will give love to you. All my life I will give love to you.

Peggy Callahan:
[glancing at the inactive fembot and her own facemask beside it] Oooh... that thing is like seeing myself dead. I can't stand to look at it.

Juggler:
Too many balls!

Carl Franklin:
The three people who destroyed my father are all in that room. They have much to answer for... and will.

Fembot Peggy Callahan:
We have come for the energy ray weapon. And we're going to get it.

Jaime Sommers:
Hey, are you feeling alright?

Rod Kyler:
Yeah, I won't just keel over. It might take weeks before I meet the, eh, germ with my name on it.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Hi, Jaime, you look beat.

Jaime Sommers:
I am. Rudy, these fembots, they're, they're like arguing with a mack truck. I mean, it's just so frustrating and so frighting to know that you're never ever gonna win.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
I know...

Rod Kyler:
For the first time in my life I'm hoping to find a defect in one of my designs.

Oscar Goldman:
Like I always said, Rudy: you can't win them all... but it hurts when you finally lose the big one.

Jaime Sommers:
My clothes please. [Rod doesn't budge]

Jaime Sommers:
Rod, I have never started a mission naked before, but there is always a first time.

Jaime Sommers:
Look, even your father knew when he was beaten. Now you happen to be in the same situation, I...

Carl Franklin:
Not exactly the same. My father was afraid to die. I'm not. I'm perfectly satisfied taking his three greatest enemies with me.

Romero:
You know, it is a defect that I have observed worldwide. Obviously you have seen it too, that is to say that men of any country seem to think that men of other countries are the lucky ones. You know what I mean? For example, we take the Italians. The Italians, they like Swiss girls. The German man likes the Spanish woman. And the Greek, ah the Greek, they like the Danes, you know. That's the way it is. It never fails. Never, never, never fails.

Romero:
[looking at Jaime] Nice legs.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Oh yes, I couldn't have asked for nicer ones if I made them myself.

Jaime Sommers:
How you doing?

Sam Diamond:
[sighs] I feel like the Red Baron after he tangeld with a Sopwith Camel. Very poorly.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
It got bend landing. I can't open it.

Jaime Sommers:
Would you care to make way for the six million dollar can opener?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
I know people have a lot of blood in them but... it always seems worse when it's your own...

Jaime Sommers:
[referring to Romero's asking her hand in marriage] That guy is downright dangerous - - he had LIFE IMPRISONMENT in mind!

Jaime Sommers:
[to Oscar] I don't suppose you'd consider putting Steve in a dress, huh?

Jaime Sommers:
[reading the names on the marquee] Mad Mary? Amazon April and the Spider Lady? Oh boy... average girls next door holds for a stick of gum.

Milt Bigelow:
[Mad Mary has Amazon April pinned to the mat] Pound the mat a little harder.

Milt Bigelow:
[April complies] Harder, like you're suffering, not like you're making pizza.

Jaime Sommers:
[to herself] Oscar, I'm gonna break your glasses for this.

Milt Bigelow:
What's your name, kid?

Jaime Sommers:
Jessie Sommers.

Milt Bigelow:
Well if things pan out, you'll be known as 'Joltin' Jessie Sommers', what do you think?

Jaime Sommers:
Swell.

'Amazon April' Armitage:
How did a little skinny thing like you ever learn to wrestle like that?

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, eh, I had this coach, his name was eh, Rudy Wells, he kind of put my style together.

Jaime Sommers:
[dressed in American Indian outfit] Are you sure Pocahontas started like this?

Oscar Goldman:
It's amazing, doctor, that a unit this small can be the brain to opperate an entire surveillance satelite.

Dr. Brandes:
Yes it is. It would have taken years longer to perfect it in my countries laboratories.

Oscar Goldman:
That's part of the reason why you defected, isn't it?

Dr. Brandes:
It certainly was not for your vodka. There's not even a fireplace around to throw the glass into!

Jaime Sommers:
[acting the part as 'Savage Sommers'] I'm telling you, Jimmy, Battling Betty, she's gonna get the axe tonight. She's really is gonna get the axe tonight. And if you're out there watching, sweetheart, I got a rhyme for ya: If you show up tonight, you can trust that you're gonna eat my dust when I break you in half everybody's gonna laugh and say bashful battling Betty's a bust!

Mary Maddox:
[having caught April and Jaime redhanded] Look at this: Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum. Very dumb.

'Amazon April' Armitage:
[speaking to Jaime in a placid sarcastic tone after they've both been given mouth by Mad Mary] You should have seen her before she went to charm school.

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime, I... I don't know how to ask this...

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar... you don't have to ask me. I would love to help you. Listen, I have my frustrations too, y'know. I mean... I have all these incredible abilities, my bionics, and I never get to use them for anything but the OSI or cleaning the house. And just once, it would make me feel very good if I could help a friend or something like that. So please let me help you.

Oscar Goldman:
Thanks, babe.

Jaime Sommers:
[smiles] Okay, what can we do? Can you get me a job maybe as a salvage worker or something?

Oscar Goldman:
Well I... eh... I, eh, already have.

Zanetos:
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you're not Hymie Sommers?

Jaime Sommers:
It's Jaime.

Zanetos:
Oh, come on! What is is with those front office fools? I mean, I expect a big strong Mexican fella, somebody who can pull his own weight. What do they send me? A girl with a funny name.

Bob Richards:
Nobody tells me much around here. Duke'd probably know.

Jaime Sommers:
Duke?

Bob Richards:
Duke?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah? [picks up Myrtle the cat] You eh, you gonna go there tonight?

Bob Richards:
I don't know. Do you?

Jaime Sommers:
I don't know. I was kinda hoping maybe somebody'd ask me.

Bob Richards:
You eh, you wouldn't wanna go with me, huh? [Jaime nods]

Jaime Sommers:
[finding a skeleton in the closet she was hiding in, Jaime screams and jumps out] Hi, guys. Guess... guess who just found a skeleton in your closet?

Duke:
You know lady, you're pretty smart and then again you're pretty dumb.

Bob Richards:
I guess all this time you was just trying to find his brother, huh?

Jaime Sommers:
Yes, but the reason I came here doesn't change the fact that we became friends, you know. Okay

Bob Richards:
[smiles] Steel was always too heavy for you anyway. You're too skinny.

Jaime Sommers:
[to Oscar] Now, you wanna tell me what I am doing in Monte Carlo, dressed like Mary Poppins, when everyone else is wearing postage stamps?

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar, I don't like the idea of using my teaching or a child as a cover for a job. I mean, that's very personal, you know. In order to keep my head straight, I like to keep the OSI and my teaching very separate.

Jaime Sommers:
[entering the Shah's extravagent villa] Well, if you got it, flaunt it, I guess.

Jaime Sommers:
Your majesty, I have some thoughts about Ishmail's lessons. Ehm, well it mind sound a little critical, could we speak alone, please?

Ali Ben Gazim:
We are alone. [Jaime glances at the veiled woman sitting at their table] This is only my wife, Ezelda.

Jaime Sommers:
How do you do? [Ezelda says nothing]

Ali Ben Gazim:
You're excused, Ezelda.

Ali Ben Gazim:
Polygamy is still allowed in our country. It's traditional. A woman's place has been clearly defined by centuries of experience. And that's why women are so content in our country. They know their place. Just as we men know what is good for them. Western men have never known how to handle their women. But eh, then your culture rarely produces real men any longer, isn't that true?

Jaime Sommers:
Ehm, they still seem to get the job done, you know.

Ali Ben Gazim:
Obviously weakness approves of weakness.

Ali Ben Gazim:
Quite good is not sufficient. Ishmael is to be king one day. And for that reward, excellence is barely acceptable. His people have a right to expect nothing less.

Prince Ishmail:
There is nothing I want to learn from you. You are excused.

Jaime Sommers:
That's my line.

Prince Ishmail:
Tell me, are many of your Western women like you?

Jaime Sommers:
Well, all women like to think they're a little unique. I'm sure your women would too if they were given the opportunity.

Ali Ben Gazim:
A girl who doesn't feel she had to talk all the time is a rare find.

Jaime Sommers:
What am I going to do now? I don't know how to do the dance of the veils.

Prince Ishmail:
How can that be? My father says every woman knowns how to dance with the veils. Instinct tells them.

Jaime Sommers:
Ishmail, I don't know how to tell you this, but your father has gathered more misinformation about women than any other man I have ever met.

Helen Elgin:
Look who just dropped by...

Oscar:
Hi.

Jaime:
So you called him anyway, huh?

Oscar:
I would have been angry with her if she hadn't.

Jaime:
[sarcastic] Awfully nice of you to drop all the nation's problem's and come over here, Oscar. Were you afraid I had blown a fuse literally?

Oscar:
I usually carry a spare for my bionic friends.

Jaime:
You know I feel like I am special getting treatment no 5: First you relax the subject and then you gently tell her that she needs a room with mattress wallpaper in it.

Ann Sommers:
The government decided I could go on working and be useful... only if I was believed dead. They erased my existence. They 'sealed off my records' as they politely called it.

Oscar:
This is Oscar Goldman speaking. I want an all points bulletin out on Chris Stewart, alias Anne Sommers. Now I want everybody in on this. The OSI, the MP's, the California Highway patrol, the local police, everybody.

Jaime:
Mothers aren't like used cars, you know, you don't just change models on a whim.

Helen Elgin:
You mean I'm locked into the job?

Jaime:
No, I mean you're stuck with it.

Sgt. Bob Welton:
Going a little fast back there, weren't you, ma'm?

Jaime Sommers:
Was I speeding?

Sgt. Bob Welton:
Flying low was more like it.

Captain Godfrey:
If those had been real bullets you would be well on your way to St. Peter's pearlies now or worse. You got a lot to learn.

Herb Partnow:
You know it's amazing the way you can fall in and out of that American accent, like you were born here.

Parker:
It took years of training, Partnow.

Sgt. Bob Welton:
[to Jaime] If you can't take the pressure in the parking lot, babe, you better forget the street.

Jaime Sommers:
Now you may not believe this, but there's a foreign agent at this academy.

Arlene Hart:
A foreign agent? What does that make you, a domestic one?

Arlene Hart:
My money's on Kelly. Did you ever notice that mood ring she wears? It's always black.

Oscar Goldman:
I don't have to tell you to be careful...

Jaime Sommers:
But you will.

Oscar Goldman:
Be careful. [a beat] There's only one thing more dangerous than being an undercover agent...

Jaime Sommers:
Being a school teacher.

Oscar Goldman:
Being a cop.

Sgt. Bob Welton:
Are you police persons gonna stand around and gab all day long or are you gonna go to work?

Oscar Goldman:
[on phone in office] If you need me, call my secretary and leave a message, huh?

Jaime Sommers:
[on phone in police station] Thanks a lot, Snow White. Goodbye. [laughs]

Oscar Goldman:
Goodbye, Dopey.

Oscar Goldman:
Parker... the one we least expected.

Parker:
Who else, Mr. Goldman?

Commissioner Sam Hart:
You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves to let this happen.

Arlene Hart:
Isn't that a little like the pot calling the kettle black, commissioner?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
I've developed some sonic techniques that are really revolutionary.

Jaime Sommers:
I'm not so sure I want a revolution going on in my ear.

Jaime Sommers:
Ah, Rudy, now you know I love you, but, eh if you think I'm gonna come running every time you blow a dog whistle, you're out of your mind.

Col. Steve Austin:
[during a game of handball in the OSI courts] Well, we definitely should have a bet on this game and I got a pretty good idea what the price should be.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh really?

Col. Steve Austin:
Yeah.

Jaime Sommers:
You think you can you give me a hint without getting us arrested?

Col. Steve Austin:
Uh-uh.

Jaime Sommers:
No? Oh boy.

Jaime Sommers:
What is this? All my men, they tell me how much they like me, and then nobody'll stick around to feed me?

Dr. Franklin:
[having seen Jaime in action] Yes, the girl is valuable, but my Fembots can do anything she can.

Baron Constantine:
Not quite. As a human being, she can think for herself.

Dr. Franklin:
Since when is thinking for herself an asset in a woman?

Peggy Callahan:
I'm not rowing with both oars today.

Jaime Sommers:
[looking down from many floors up] I'm not THAT bionic!

[Jaime arrives at Callahan's apartment. The fembot "Callahan" greets Jaime]

Peggy Callahan:
Hi, Jaime!

[beeping noise as "Callahan's" fembot films Jaime; Franklin watches]

Jaime Sommers:
Hi. May I come in?

Peggy Callahan:
Sure.

Jaime Sommers:
Thank you.

Peggy Callahan:
Can I, um, get you something?

Jaime Sommers:
Uh, I'd like some coffee, and also a chance to, uh, apologize for today. I was pretty upset and I'm afraid I've got out of hand.

Peggy Callahan:
Me too, and it's a strain on both of us. I'll get the coffee. How do you take it?

Jaime Sommers:
Black. You don't remember?

Peggy Callahan:
I am not rowing with both oars today.

Jaime Sommers:
Are you still gonna go to Newport to talk it over with her?

Dr. Franklin:
[back at Franklin's lab] Research Newport.

[Rawlins checks up on Newport, Rhode Island in Callahan's "fembot" database]

Rawlins:
No mention of Newport in Callahan's records

Dr. Franklin:
Is it a bluff? A trap?

Rawlins:
Could be something Callahan said this morning.

Jaime Sommers:
[back at Callahan's apartment] I mean, you never been there before, have you?

Dr. Franklin:
No.

Peggy Callahan:
No.

Jaime Sommers:
[turns cross] You're lying. You told me yesterday that she wanted you to go to Cape Cod. Now, you may look and sound like Callahan, but you're not her! Who are you, and where's Oscar Goldman?

Dr. Franklin:
She's dangerous. Capture her.

[Callahan's "fembot" grabs Jaime's wrist]

Peggy Callahan:
[as fembot] You're no match for us, Summers. Now we're not gonna hurt you. Please come with us.

[Jaime attempts to release the fembot from restraint... ]

Dr. Franklin:
[to Rawlins] Increase power on the fembots.

[... but Callahan's "fembot" pulls Jaime's right arm down]

Peggy Callahan:
Give up quietly, Summers.

Jaime Sommers:
This trick's a little easier with a tennis ball, but... [bends a metal water container out of shape]

Col. Steve Austin:
I think you're in trouble now, Jaime, that's destroying hospital property. That's a felony if they wanna press charges.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh dear. You will wait for me, won't you, till I get out? [looks as if she's about to cry]

Col. Steve Austin:
Sure.

Admiral Wilkins:
With eh, all respect, doctor, we don't only fight on sunny summer days. Our attack units are designed for all weather capability.

Col. Steve Austin:
So you see, we're not giving up, Jaime. All we need is an atomic submarine.

Admiral Richter:
In the first place I don't 'buck' the establishment, I am the establishment.

Col. Steve Austin:
Now wait a minute, I've bailed out of a sub the hard way before. You got a scuba suit aboard?

Jaime Sommers:
[holds up two fingers] Two suits! [less forceful] Two suits.

Col. Steve Austin:
Now wait a minute, Jaime, you're not going out a torpedo tube. Now you felt the sub, it's gonna be rough out there.

Jaime Sommers:
[stuttering] You never promised me a rose garden.

Col. Steve Austin:
Ah, forget it.

Jaime Sommers:
[to Gordon] Commander, can an airforce office aboard a navy submarine give order to a civilian who isn't listening to him anyway?

Commander Gordon:
Now leave me out of this, you two. We got two suits up in the forward torpedo room. You decide what happens.

Jaime Sommers:
[holds up two fingers again] Two suits.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
I can think of two good reasons why Franklin would bring the storm to the island: Jaime and Steve. Now he could be fighting one of them, or both of them with it.

Peggy Callahan:
Thunder terrifies me.

Oscar Goldman:
The time for terror is when the thunder stops, Callahan.

Col. Steve Austin:
We gotta get across the dam to Franklin's complex. Lightning might get us. Our bionics attract it.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, the faster we get past it, the better.

Jaime Sommers:
You are coming with me. [Franklin shakes his head] Doctor, would you like me to carry you?

Dr. Franklin:
Good Lord, you wouldn't do that?

Jaime Sommers:
I certainly would. And you know that I can. [Franklin stays put] Okay... [moves in to pick him up]

Dr. Franklin:
Leave me my dignity, please!

Dr. Franklin:
I don't know. Sometimes it seems the things that aren't really controlable are the best things of all...

Col. Steve Austin:
[preparing to leave the submarine through torpedo tubes] I still wish you were staying aboard.

Jaime Sommers:
Hey, how dangerous can this be, really?

Col. Steve Austin:
On a scale of one to ten, about a twelve.

Oscar Goldman:
If I know Sam, he'll be busy admiring your legs.

Jaime Sommers:
What, is he hung up on bionics?

Oscar Goldman:
No, no, I'm the one thats hung up on bionics, remember?

Sam Sloan:
You're not at all what I expected, Miss Sommers, I'm very happy to meet you.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, thank you. Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Sloan, what were you expecting?

Sam Sloan:
Why, I dare say a Washington worrywart. A tight lipped, humor less, plain Jane who dreams of paper shredders instead of bright red sport cars.

Sam Sloan:
Oh come on, Jaime, how many ways do I have to say I'm sorry?

Jaime Sommers:
I give up, how many?

Jaime Sommers:
You're highness may you only smile when you're happy, and may you smile often.

King Kusari:
I like that.

King Kusari:
[to Jaime] If you aren't an example of the liberated woman, I regret the traditions in my country that make such progress impossible.

Valerie Breuer:
The Maxicomp computer can now monitor all of Max's vital signs and give us his exact location up to 50 kilometers away.

Jaime Sommers:
That's nice. You can have a little build-in spy system here?

Oscar Goldman:
We'll never lose Max again, Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, well don't you get any bright ideas about putting one of those things in me. Because there are sometimes I happen to like being lost.

Oscar Goldman:
Did it ever occur to you that sometimes I don't want to find you?

Jaime Sommers:
Well, good.

Bobby:
Max, you big chicken, get out here and face it like a dog!

Valerie Breuer:
I don't know what kind of game it is you're playing, but fidely foot, I don't like it!

Jack Carson:
You have only one choice, Miss Breuer. And that is to cooperate with us fully.

Jack Carson:
I don't think so. The only cooperation I'm gonna give, is picking all of you from a police line up.

Jack Carson:
That's very amusing. But not very realistic.

Jack Carson:
Time is the one thing that you don't have time to worry about.

Jaime Sommers:
[Jame notices her left arm is sunburned] Oh Rudy! Can't you make a bionic skin that tans?

Jaime Sommers:
[puts on a wrap and sunhat] The least you can do is make me some bionic baby oil.

Oscar Goldman:
Miss Sommers, are you always in the habit of reading other peoples top-secret briefs?

Lisa Galloway:
[posing as Jaime Sommers] Well only when I'm sitting in their chair.

Oscar Goldman:
Well get out of that chair. Get me some coffee!

Lisa Galloway:
Yes sir.

Oscar Goldman:
While I read top-secret briefs.

Lisa Galloway:
Chauvinist.

Jaime Sommers:
Hey listen, as far as I know, I've got the patent on this face. Now if somebody is cranking 'em out in quantity, I think it's up to me to do something about it.

Tipsy Man:
Man, where did you get a grip like that?

Jaime Sommers:
In the police academy.

Matthews:
You hop out here, I gotta go park around the front. I'll meet you in his office.

Jaime Sommers:
[posing as Lisa Galloway] Okay, who's office?

Matthews:
Courtney's, who else?

Jaime Sommers:
Albert Schweitzer.

Dr. James Courtney:
How do I know you're not the real Jaime Sommers?

Jaime Sommers:
[smokes cigarette, coughs] Because I'm prettier.

Dr. James Courtney:
Sommers is alive?

Lisa Galloway:
Oh yeah. They caught me. And I saw her before I excaped!

Baxley:
I don't believe it! She was tied to an anchor.

Lisa Galloway:
Well, I guess that's it, sugar. I got your looks, but I sure don't have your moves.

Jaime Sommers:
What's gonna happen to Lisa?

Oscar Goldman:
She's going to prison.

Jaime Sommers:
Really? [impersonating Lisa's southern accent] Lookin' like Lisa Galloway?

Oscar Goldman:
No, Jaime Sommers. It's gonna take a year for that scar tissue to heal before it'll be safe to have any more plastic surgery. So you're gonna have a jail-bird for a twin.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, terrific!

Oscar Goldman:
Well that won't be bad, as long as she stays put.

Jaime Sommers:
Well how would you like it if there were two Oscar Goldmans?

Oscar Goldman:
I'll worry about that when it happens.

Evel Knievel:
Hey, you dumkopf!

Jaime Sommers:
[to Evel Knievel] Hurry, hurry, keep on mach schnell-ing!

Evel Knievel:
Danke my eye, lady. We're in trouble!

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Got you five by five, Speedy. This is Doc. Snow White's been called out of town. Where have you been?

Jaime Sommers:
There, into the truck.

Evel Knievel:
You gotta be kidding me. I jump over trucks, not into them.

Schmidt:
Do you think that they may make a further attempt to recover the computer tape?

Major Petrov:
Only if they are interested in suicide.

Evel Knievel:
How often do you do this?

Jaime Sommers:
Only when I'm not teaching school.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Now you listen to me, we've analyzed the situation and you have a ten per cent change of ever getting in there and no change at all of getting out.

Evel Knievel:
There's nothing I hate more than soggy boots.

Evel Knievel:
Oh, my mother always warned me about picking up some good looking broad hitch-hiking. You weren't even wearing a short skirt!

Evel Knievel:
Look. You're used to flying bullets, helicopters, picking up crates with one arm. That's not my bag. I told ya. I'm Evel Knievel. How did I get into this mess anyway?

Jaime Sommers:
[Jaime has just jumped out of a window] Ok, it's your turn, come on.

Evel Knievel:
My turn? Who do you think I am, Batman?

Evel Knievel:
Oh man, nice goin'. I thought you were gonna catch me?

Jaime Sommers:
Well, who do you think I am, Johnny Bench?

Jaime Sommers:
Who do you think you are, Evel Knievel?

Evel Knievel:
Yeah.

Evel Knievel:
I told them I was on a ride to the countryside with a beautiful frau.

Jaime Sommers:
Danke.

Jaime Sommers:
[writing a letter of resignation to Oscar] I'm tired of answering the bugle. I'm tired of being called a winner just because Rudy's genius made it impossible for me to lose. And I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing an OSI agent instead of a woman. I'm just tired.

Jaime Sommers:
Are you telling trying to me that I can't even quit if I want to? I mean, I don't understand you, I thought that I was more than just a pawn to you or even a tool. [pinches Oscar's arm as she speaks]

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime, you're hurting my arm.

Oscar Goldman:
You know, Callahan once accused me of being married to the OSI. Now if that's the case, you're the closest thing to family I'll ever have. I want you to know I'm gonna miss you, very, very much. But I want you to go, be free, find whatever it is your looking for. 'Cause I... well, I love you.

Chris Williams:
I don't believe this. We know more about what's going on in Moscow and Peking than we do at the NSB.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
It's a rotten political trick. For years now, Parr's been trying to discredit you and get the NSB to take over all the government under cover operations and he's using Jaime as a an issue to do it.

Oscar Goldman:
Parr believes it's for the good of the country, Rudy. That's the trouble. He thinks he's doing the right thing.

Jaime Sommers:
Three years ago they brought me back to life. I felt very grateful, okay, I said I would work for them. I decided to become an agent and go on a mission occasionaly. Then occasionally became all the time. Chris, I haven't had any life of my own at all. All I have had is missions. I don't like what I have been doing and I don't like what I've become.

Chris Williams:
But it's good enough for me to fall in love with.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh really? Well what are you in love with? If you're a leg man, honey, you're outta luck.

Jaime Sommers:
[in a slightly disheartened helpless tone that shows she is always glad to see Chris but still wishes he wasn't there at this time] Chris, why did you come here?

Chris Williams:
Because I'm in love with you, Jaime, and I want to be with you.

Jaime Sommers:
You mean, you wanna HIDE OUT with me?

Chris Williams:
No - - I mean that I wanna BE WITH YOU, more than anything else in this world. I wanna spend the rest of my life - - [moves over and half-kneels in front of Jaime and cradles her head in his hands and looks earnestly down into her eyes while he thinks of his favorite and romantic actions] - - throwin' snowballs at you... kissing this face... holdin' your hands... stroking your hair. And I'm willing to make any sacrifices that you'd need me to so that you and I can be together.

Gino Talvin:
Inky, you smell like a brewery.

Inky:
Well, I got a bottle of liquor dumped all over me.

Gino Talvin:
Right...

Oscar Goldman:
[reading from a file] He's not wanted for anything now, but he's gone down on grand theft twice. The last time he was caught because a... because a monkey triggered the burglar alarm?

Jaime Sommers:
[laughing] I'll believe that!

Jaime Sommers:
You want me to set this guy up?

Oscar Goldman:
I can pull some strings, Jaime, and have him sent to Alcatraz.

Jaime Sommers:
Alcatraz is closed down, Oscar.

Oscar Goldman:
You're beginning to get the idea, babe.

Inky:
I got myself a partner.

Saul:
Yeah, who?

Inky:
A very special woman. An amazing woman.

Saul:
Inky, the last woman you had in here was really amazing. She looked like Big Foot.

Inky:
[to Ralph the chimp] Go on, banana brains!

Gino Talvin:
[in a tone of sarcastic impatience as he speaks on the phone to his bartender henchman] Hey, c'mon, Saully... what, are you dtinkin' yer own stuff? Inky couldn't knock ovuhtta bank widda BULLDOZUH!

Denton:
[Tommy is lying on the floor, electrocuted] Now that's a good indian.

Dr. Philip Jennings:
Denton, don't ever make a remark like that again!

Denton:
I only made the crack, you're the one who killed him.

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime, did Tommy ever mention... Rosebud to you?

Jaime Sommers:
What's a Rosebud?

Oscar Goldman:
[Jennings arrives] Doctor.

Dr. Philip Jennings:
I got here as soon as I could. It's true then, Rosebud's still on?

Jaime Sommers:
What is Rosebud?

Oscar Goldman:
The most devastating bomb ever devised.

Tommy Littlehorse:
[to Jaime] You and doctor Jennings first white-eyes to help Indian. No speak with forked tongue.

Denton:
That's crazy, Jennings. The indian kid is in a coma, now how could you believe that he's communicating to Sommers?

Dr. Philip Jennings:
[quoting Hamlet Act 1 scene 5] There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, then are dreamed of in your philosophy

Jaime Sommers:
[to Jennings] This way, white-eyes.

Oscar Goldman:
Terrence, do you remember Boris Slotsky? [Terrence stops jogging, Oscar stops the limo and gets out]

Terrence Quinn:
'Course I remember. I'm still carrying two luger slugs he put in me in Amsterdam. And on cold days, my arm can feel the pain of that letter bomb of his.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, so far, he has chloroformed me, he's tied me up, and he doesn't even know my name yet!

Jaime Sommers:
I know what a bomb is, and that was a bomb.

Boris Slotsky:
My friend, we are old fools.

Terrence Quinn:
The war between us is over. It passed us by without us even noticing.

Boris Slotsky:
We should have left it to the younger ones years ago.

Jaime Sommers:
[about Max] He likes you.

Oscar Goldman:
Well, I like him too, Jaime, I just don't want a tongue all over my face, that's all.

Jaime Sommers:
And you think he's gone to Hidalgo and you want me to follow him in there.

Oscar Goldman:
Right.

Jaime Sommers:
Wrong. Listen, you've got plenty of men who can handle this job - why are you sending me?

Oscar Goldman:
I sent two of my agents into Hidalgo. I haven't heard from them since.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, swell.

Oscar Goldman:
[to Petie] If you don't bring Frank back, back to prison you go.

Jaime Sommers:
Petie, you know what? There ain't know way you're getting your hands on that money to see it, feel it, smell it, touch it, no way, nada. Okay? Now you go down to the jeep, get the things, and I will clean up as you so graciously offered.

Petie 'The Weasel' Regan:
I was, I was just testing to see if I could trust you. You scored zip. Zip!

Jaime Sommers:
I was, I was just testing to see if I could trust you. You scored zip. Zip!

Petie 'The Weasel' Regan:
My word, that ain't worth nothing. What do you think they call me 'The Weasel' for?

Colonel:
Are your neckhairs high enough yet for me to start forming a firing squad?

Gustave:
Just about... Order them shot if they try and leave again.

Madeline Boylin:
[about Jaime] She was trying to rob me.

One-Eyed-One:
Robbing? That is a man's work. I am taking you to Se?or Gustave.

Gustave:
A dancer? Well, my guests get little enough entertainment as it is, so you must dance for us. And I'll feed your fingers to the iguanas before I kill you both, if she doesn't dance very, very good.

Gustave:
Oh ladies and gentlemen, we have a rare treat in store for us today: this charming young lady is going to dance for us. [some applause from the customers] And immediately following that, we may have a surprise encore: the execution of a police spy.

Jaime Sommers:
[voice over] Oh I hope I can remember how Carmen Miranda did it.

Pam:
[Pam has proven she is tone deaf] Pretty bad huh?

Jaime Sommers:
[stutters] I, eh, no, it really wasn't...

Pam:
Maybe I could play the tambourine?

Jaime Sommers:
That's a great idea!

Jaime Sommers:
So you and Oscar were in intelligence together during North Korea?

Muffin Calhoon:
Yeah, that's right, only I had the intelligence to get out of this racket after the war.

Jaime Sommers:
[posing as Jodi Lee Sommers] Hey, what was that about eh, about a country opera or something?

Buck Buckley:
[sighs] Listen, that was the one thing that could have pulled me out of my slump. I put two years of my life into it, then I lost it all over night.

Jaime Sommers:
How?

Jaime Sommers:
Well the night before we were supposed to go into the studio and record it, somebody broke in and stole everything. Two months later it came out as a rock opera.

Jaime Sommers:
Well you could sue for that, couldn't you?

Buck Buckley:
No, we checked it out, they changed just enough of it so that our hands were tied. But it was mine... and that's when I started drinking. Tammy found me in a flop-house guzzling hair tonic. Rock bottom.

Jaime Sommers:
[about missing OSI agent Bill] Oscar, I gotta tell ya - this poor guy - if you sent him in here lookin' like this, it's no wonder he got caught. He looks just like you.

Oscar Goldman:
[on other line] But that's an OSI requirement, Jaime. We all look alike.

Bill:
Who are you?

Jaime Sommers:
[coughs] I'm Jaime Sommers. And the guy in the pajamas here is [another cough] Muffin Calhoun. We're from the OSI.

Bill:
[coughing] I thought Oscar had given up on me.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, then I guess I'll just have to figure out some way to get close to him.

Oscar Goldman:
There won't be any problem there, babe. I've seen you in a cowgirl outfit before.

Dr. Billy Cole:
Bye Max, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Bionically speaking

Carlos:
[to Jaime] Hey sweetheart, you can drop your loop on me any time.

Dr. Billy Cole:
Well, if that don't beat all. I always said you was something. I'm beginning to feel better already. Seeing as how I've been took in by a freak.

Jaime Sommers:
I don't deserve that.

Dr. Billy Cole:
I don't deserve to be lied to either.

Dr. Billy Cole:
[Jaime uses her bionic legs to pull apart the ropes tied around them] Now that is a problem in stress factors I wouldn't even want to try to calculate.

Jaime Sommers:
Unfortunately I've only got one bionic arm here, and if I pull on these ropes, I'm gonna break the other one and possibly yours, too.

Chris Williams:
Jaime? I love your feet.

Jaime Sommers:
Wait a second. Are you trying to tell me you couldn't speak English until just now?

Princess Aura:
Nor any other Earth language.

Princess Aura:
Just because something is hard for you to believe, does that mean it's not true?

Princess Aura:
[about Max] He's an animal?

Jaime Sommers:
Well don't tell him that, my goodness, you're gonna hurt his feelings.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Get anything?

Chris Williams:
Yeah, a headache. [the phone rings, Chris picks up the receiver] Hello?

Oscar Goldman:
[on other line] Hi Chris, Oscar.

Chris Williams:
Hi Oscar, what's up?

Oscar Goldman:
I'm calling about what's down, pal.

Chris Williams:
Rudy and I are flying out to your area this afternoon.

Jaime Sommers:
Really? What's the occasion?

Chris Williams:
[in a pretend impatient tone, but with playful fondness] Oh, no occasion - - Rudy and I chartered a plane to come all the way out there just to see your beautiful face.

Jaime Sommers:
[in a casual amused tone to show that she doesn't believe him, but with obvious appreciation for his compliment] Yeah, yeah...

Oscar Goldman:
You're just what every convent needs: a bionic nun.

Sister Beverly:
Some portions of God's work are most certainly a drag.

Jaime Sommers:
[after tasting the heroin from a wine cask] Whoa... talk about the flying nun!

Jaime Sommers:
Ah, it's no fair hiding the heroin!

Oscar Goldman:
I'm sorry, ma'am, but you're gonna have to get the flock outta here.

Sister Barbara:
Patience, sir, this one's giving birth to a lamb.

Oscar Goldman:
Eh, this is police business, ma'am. [shows her his badge]

Sister Barbara:
God's business comes first.

Oscar Goldman:
[narrating] This is the most important mission I have ever sent you on, Jaime. My life depends on it. You have to go to Washington to get a letter from the Sovjet ambassador, Dimitri Zhukov.

Dmitri Zhukov:
Ah! My favorite food. You must have caviar. It is the Soviet gift to the capitalist world.

Peggy Callahan:
No, I, I can't really, my weight is a highly classified secret too, and I was a pound heavier this morning...

Henderson:
Mr. Williams, we're a security 8 base. You're clearance is only a 6.

Chris Williams:
You gotta be kidding.

Henderson:
I'll need Mr. Goldman's personal ok before allowing you into the restricted area's.

Yanos:
[on phone] Comrade Zhukov passed away a few minutes ago. He gave me a message for Miss Sommers. He said dying for something you disapprove of is the real final test of loyalty.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Hey, you look chipper.

Jaime Sommers:
Thank you, I have felt worse, that's for sure.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Yeah? Well, let's see. [takes her pulse] Uh-huh... strong... steady... and healthy.

Jaime Sommers:
I like your style. Every single piece of information is better than the last.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
[showing filmed footage of Maxamillion in action] Lab animals are a fact of life in research science, Jaime. It's thankless, it's sometimes inhumane, but necessary.

Oscar Goldman:
Max was critically injured in a chemical lab fire six years ago. A tragic story, but a happy ending. Rudy was testing his bionic prototype and Max was just the strong-willed animal that we were looking for.

Jaime Sommers:
[watching Maxamillion jump] Oh boy!

Dr. Rudy Wells:
It's a simple case of being in the right place at the right time.

Jaime Sommers:
Just like me.

Oscar Goldman:
Not quite, babe. Max only cost a million.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
What gives you the right, the unmitigated gall to jeopardize a top secret project like that? Do you know what could have happened?

Jaime Sommers:
[about Max] He's all right, I can prove it.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
How? Look at him: he can't even raise his head, let alone run bionically.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Are you questioning my judgment?

Oscar Goldman:
I'm giving you a chance to modify your position, Rudy. To play the grey zone. If there's the slightest doubt...

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime, I should have your head for this. If Rudy didn't think that this dog had a chance, I'd have the state police after you.

Jaime Sommers:
[narrating] Dear Oscar, I know that what I'm doing may seem foolish to you. I'm sorry, and I hope that someday, you'll understand. [sighs] Max and I are going someplace safe, away from you and away from people. Now, if Rudy is right and Max is rejecting his bionics, then it's only right that he has me to help him through it. He deserves a chance, Oscar. I hope someone's there to do the same thing for me when it's my turn. Give Jim and Helen my love and tell them I'll call soon. I'll be okay. We'll both be okay. I know it. Love, Jaime.

Roger Grette:
Can I get you a cup of coffee, or something?

Jaime Sommers:
Oh yeah, I'd love some. Would you mind putting just a...

Roger Grette:
[holds up his hand] Teaspoon of cocoa in it?

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah. You remembered.

Harley:
[taking aim at Max] Got ya, you blood sucker!

Roger Grette:
[conversing on CB] Look my girl is out there in the middle of it. Willy, I got to go get her.

Willy Tyler:
You'll do more to help her where you are.

Roger Grette:
Look I don't see it that way... I lost her one time, and I'm not about to lose her again.

Dr. Rudy Wells:
[Max is licking Jaime's face] Max, I'm sure your licks are beneficial, but the oxygen will do her more good.

Jaime Sommers:
Rudy, what's gonna happen to Max now, huh?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Well, I guess I'll become a dog shrink and I'll try to help Max overcome his fear of fire.

Jaime Sommers:
Not in the lab, huh?

Dr. Rudy Wells:
Not in the lab.

Roger Grette:
But where will you keep him, eh, after he's gotten over it?

Oscar Goldman:
We're not sure, we might give him to Jaime.

Roger Grette:
Or a certain forest ranger captain?

Jaime Sommers:
[smiles] That's a good idea. Except I get visiting privileges, you know

Roger Grette:
That's the idea.

Oscar Goldman:
We'll consider it. But the final decision is up to Max.

Willy Tyler:
[having helped administer first-aid to Jaime, and having also just helped load the injured trio into the ambulance a moment before, and so he's had a chance first-hand to observe Jaime "up close and personal" and see what a lovely and kindly gentle person she is] Roger - - she's worth it!

Pierre Lambert:
Mademoiselle, I appeal to you how can I convince you I am not this, eh, whatshisname.

Oscar Goldman:
Pierre, when something quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, flies like a duck and walks like a duck I have to consider the possibility that it is a duck.

Pierre Lambert:
What's your plan?

Jaime Sommers:
I think you should call Beaumont and arrange a meeting and I'll just go as your girlfriend or friend or whatever

Pierre Lambert:
That might work. He knows I'm adored by beautiful women.

Pierre Lambert:
[opens the door to an apartment he claims to be his] Here we are, humble but home.

Jaime Sommers:
Humble? Pierre, I'm afraid you're too modest.

Pierre Lambert:
Hm, just one of my virtues.

Jaime Sommers:
One trick. One little trick, and I promise you, I'm gonna call Goldman.

Pierre Lambert:
Jaime, don't you trust me?

Jaime Sommers:
[she rolls her eyes] Does a chicken have lips?

Pierre Lambert:
What difference does it make anyway? My future has never been so gloomy. If I don't finish the painting he'll kill me. If I do finish it he'll kill me anyway. Even if we escape, I'll spend the rest of my life hiding from him in one your prison until he kills me.

Jaime Sommers:
[laughs nervously] If things are that bad, they can only get better, right?

Pierre Lambert:
You want to bet?

Pierre Lambert:
[thinks Jaime has commited suicide in order to safe him] Jaime... Jaime... I wasn't worth it.

Jaime Sommers:
[fake Swedish accent] Come along, my twisted little genius.

Oscar Goldman:
[about J.T. Connors] His company builds that type of missile for the airforce.

Jaime Sommers:
You're making him sound like some kind of eh, a mad scientist or something.

Oscar Goldman:
I don't think he's a mad scientist but I think he's a brilliant and powerful industrialist. And he has the capabilities.

J.T. Connors:
After all I''ve done for you...

Warren Rayker:
Just what have you done for me? You made a fortune off my research, and, and paid me peanuts!

J.T. Connors:
That's the way to do it, honey, you set 'em up and I knock 'em down.

Oscar Goldman:
We have to catch a plane for Washington. The Pentagon is very interested in his radar jammer

Jaime Sommers:
Ah, you finally got through to the soft-heads, eh?

J.T. Connors:
[chuckles] Looks like it. But, eh, I learned a lesson myself.

Jaime Sommers:
Never leave a loaded missile around the house.

Col. Steve Austin:
Well, at least we oughta talk about it.

Jaime Sommers:
Like maybe over a candlelit dinner?

Col. Steve Austin:
Yeah, like over a candlelit dinner.

Jaime Sommers:
I'd love that.

Col. Steve Austin:
What'cha got in the fridge?

Jaime Sommers:
Huh?

Oscar Goldman:
You are going to do some bionic snooping, my dear.

Jaime Sommers:
Where is Essexville, anyway?

Oscar Goldman:
Along the coast of Massachusetts, between Boston and Salem.

Jaime Sommers:
Salem? [cackling voice] Maybe I should just gas up my broomstick, huh?

Dr. Alan Cory:
[to Jaime] You have a way with shelves, don't you

Oscar Goldman:
[on phone] Meanwhile, you keep an eye out for this 'Emil Laslo'.

Jaime Sommers:
[on other line] Or Elizabeth Cory's ghost...

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime, we've got to leave or we won't stand a ghost of a... [Jaime rolls her eyes, but Alan and Amanda laugh]... chance to catch that airplane.

Amanda Cory:
[giving Oscar the thumbs up] That's the spirit, Mr. Goldman.

John Naud:
The courier just left. It's a woman. Yeah, mid-twenties, pretty. Too bad it's the last delivery she'll ever make.

Jaime Sommers:
[picks up phone while lying in bed] Hello, this is a recording. I am not at home at the moment, but if you care to leave your name and number at the sound of the beep, I may call you when I wake up. Beep.

Oscar Goldman:
Listen, I can't assign a janitor to empty a waste paper basket. Not on this case.

Jaime Sommers:
Boy, now I know how Bambi felt on the first day of deer season.

Dr. Ellis Hatch:
How did you get out of jail?

Jaime Sommers:
It doesn't matter now, I know who stole that decoder.

Dr. Ellis Hatch:
Hm. So does everybody else.

Jaime Sommers:
It wasn't me and I can prove it!

Oscar Goldman:
[handing the package to Jaime with a pleasant but serious look on his face that shows how important the object is] Now - it's in YOUR CARE.

Jaime Sommers:
[pretending to be pleased] Some girls have all the luck.

Ted Ryan:
[walking with Jaime to the helicopter] So - - why's a nice girl like you going way out into the Mojave Desert?

Jaime Sommers:
[smiling innocently while she blithely tries to come up with a "plausible explanation", but knowing that both of them are fully aware that her mission is top-secret] Oh - - um - - gathering samples for my - - snake collection.

Ted Ryan:
[in a resigned "Yup - - I just knew you wouldn't tell me anything" tone] Yeah, right - - ask a dumb question.

Ted Ryan:
[reaches the helicopter, and opens the door for Jaime "just like a gentleman does" with a car or house door] Well - - shall we, uh - - whirly?

Jaime Sommers:
I thought you'd NEVER ask.

Jaime Sommers:
[in a grim-toned response to Oscar's telling her not to worry about the impending investigation on the missing decoder] Yesh - - anytime someone says, "Don't worry", that's when I START TO WORRY.

Jaime Sommers:
Wow. For a barn this is quite a laboratory.

Bill Robbins:
For a laboratory it's quite a laboratory.

Jaime Sommers:
You know, grilling like this usually takes place in a very smoke filled room with a bright light beaming in on your face. Not in a beautiful place like this.

Casey:
You're being evasive.

Jaime Sommers:
And you're being obnoxious, Mr. eh?

Casey:
Casey.

Jaime Sommers:
Mr. Casey.

Jaime Sommers:
[Jaime is locked in cold storage and her bionics are failing] I don't wanna walk, just prop me up against the wall, please.

Casey:
[Casey is rubbing Jaime to warm up her Bionics] You know, in some parts of the world, we'd have to get married after this.

Jaime Sommers:
God bless America, huh?

Casey:
But before you get carried away, I got a few questions to ask you.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, so what's new? I'm hungry, Casey. Please?

Casey:
How did you get that freezer door open?

Jaime Sommers:
My stomach is growling. Get in the car!

Norma Fisk:
Do you have the sunscreen?

Ray Fisk:
[in a warm affectionate tone of mild sadness that Norma isn't coming along with him on the fishing trip] I have everything except YOU. [gently embraces Norma and kisses her]

Hawkins:
You eh, one of them, eh, Vegas showgirls?

Jaime Sommers:
Huh?

Hawkins:
You're purdey enough for it!

Hawkins:
I got me a big ole sidewinder. You wanna see it?

Jaime Sommers:
Ah, some other time, thank you.

Thomas Bearclaw:
In early tribal mythology, First Man created the Universe. In his concept, the ideal state, was that in which all parts, each with its power for Good and Evil, are maintained in inter-related harmony. The balance is precarious at best but maybe upset intentionally by ghosts, witches and people who do evil. Or unintentionally by persons who break some religious taboo.

Jaime Sommers:
[referring to a statue of Massaau] Well how does he fit into the scheme?

Thomas Bearclaw:
He is a satanic figure with slight variations. His Good is that he protects the rest of the Dead. His bad is that when once aroused, he...

Jaime Sommers:
Kinda does his own thing?

Thomas Bearclaw:
Sort of.

Oscar Goldman:
Unless we restore the ozone layer, solar radiation will continue to increase to the danger level.

Chris Williams:
Gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I have a date with a very attractive young lady.

Oscar Goldman:
Is she a willowy blond about this tall, teaches school, a lady who I lost my heart to years ago?

Chris Williams:
That's the one. She's picking me up for a diner party. I'll see you later.

Oscar Goldman:
Have a good time.

Jaime Sommers:
[Chris has deduced Jaime is bionic] Is it eh... is it a turn-off to you?

Chris Williams:
Well not as long as you don't go around beating up my friends. [Jaime manages a smile but looks crestfallen] Hey, it's a bad joke. [they kiss]

Jaime Sommers:
That rocket is no threat to anyone. They're just sealing the ozone layer.

Ky:
But the sodium-chemical chain you were using will conflict with the electro magnetic propulsion system of our ship. When it strikes the chemical concentration, the ship will explode. Our people will think you destroyed did it, and retaliate. They remember you as primitives. You have no defence against their weapons.

Jaime Sommers:
Well that makes them sound a little primitive, too.

Ky:
When we taught people to build pyramids such as the one we are in. They didn't understand that the form captured and stored biocosmic energy. They thought of the pyramid only as tombs for the dead. All that we did was for the purpose of teaching. And all that we did, misunderstood and used for purposes never intended.

Oscar Goldman:
[on phone] What are you gonna do, Jaime?

Jamie Sommers:
[in helicopter] Oscar, I'm gonna hoof it.

Oscar Goldman:
Jaime!

Jamie Sommers:
Now, I'll let you know if I find anything. [to chopper pilot] What's your security clearance level?

Chopper Pilot:
Five.

Jamie Sommers:
Well, you're about to become a six. See you back at the base. [jumps out of the chopper]

Nedlick:
[looking at viewscreen] Another bionic person?

Faler:
Good thing that I suggested we monitor the San Angelo area, isn't it? She's probably there now searching for our original complex.

Nedlick:
Yes, for a change I'd say you're right.

Jamie Sommers:
[hears thudding footsteps] Well, if that's Shalon, she sure has big feet.

Jamie Sommers:
[realizes what she just said] Oh, no...

Jamie Sommers:
[Bigfoot tears down a tree to reveal himself] Oh, boy... Steve said you were big, but this is ridiculous.

Shalon:
Oh Jaime, I'm so glad you've come to help us.

Jamie Sommers:
Help you? I, I came to get your help.

Shalon:
What?

Jamie Sommers:
Steve is dying. He has severe radiation sickness. And, and the nuclear power pack in his legs have burst.

Gillian:
Sasquatch caused it. They've turned him against Steve, too.

Faler:
Here she comes again, Nedrik.

Nedlick:
Very tenacious, that bionic woman. But this time she won't escape.

Gillian:
Can you get out of bed?

Col. Steve Austin:
I think so. I... [takes a peek under his sheets] I'm gonna need a pair of pants.

Gillian:
Uh oh.

Col. Steve Austin:
What is it?

[Sasquatch is running towards them]

Col. Steve Austin:
Old white-eyes is back.

Jamie Sommers:
What are you doing?

Gillian:
I'm turning their TLC's down so slow that they can't move.

Apploy:
Her TLC has been reduced to an extreme slowness. It will remain that way until our mothership returns. They'll have a much better chance of saving her than we.

Col. Steve Austin:
When will your mothership return?

Apploy:
Oh, about a hundred Earth years from now.

Col. Steve Austin:
Tell Shalon this time I won't forget.

Apploy:
Nor will she forget you.

Jaime Sommers:
What is on Grand Tooley?

Major Andrews:
It used to be an air corp base during World War II. You have heard of that war, I presume?

Jaime Sommers:
I read about it in my history books.

Major Andrews:
Oh, you're cute, Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
Ehm, we got a safe to land?

Sergeant Roberts:
Well, the way I see it, we got no choice. We either land right now, or 300 miles further out, in the ocean.

Jaime Sommers:
You know, at times like this it's kinda nice being a girl, cause I can admit to being very scared!

Sergeant Roberts:
Well, I'll match goose bumps with ya about now.

Major Andrews:
[searching the hangars] You two take this. I'll take the next one. Now sing out if you see anybody.

Jaime Sommers:
[salutes him] Loud and clear, sir. Probably will be more like a piercing scream, though.

Dr. Michael Marchetti:
One thing scientist have in common is we keep notes. [a little while later] Well, we usually keep notes.

Jaime Sommers:
I mean you got a pretty big investment in your bionic woman here, kiddo. I probably cost as much as Steve did.

Oscar Goldman:
Well not quite six million, I mean your parts are smaller.

Jaime Sommers:
Oscar, If I don't get an assignment from you very soon, I'm just gonna show up and I'm gonna kick your door down.

Oscar Goldman:
Ah, you're just the one that can do it.

Jaime Sommers:
And don't you forget it.

Attendant:
You see, I only have one position open, but it's not exactly the easiest. As a matter of fact, they've, eh, managed to chewed up four substitutes in three months.

Jaime Sommers:
Phew! Sounds like it's going to be a challenge.

Attendant:
I hope you've got a couple of good solid legs to stand on.

Jaime Sommers:
Well, as a matter of fact I do.

Helen Elgin:
[Jaime has just opened a tin can using her finger nails] Incredible. You don't happen to have an extra set of those nails, do you?

Jaime Sommers:
No, but I'll have Rudy check the parts department for ya, see what he can come up with.

Karen Stone:
You know they gave you the dirty dozen?

Jaime Sommers:
I know! Are they really as bad as they said?

Karen Stone:
Not really. They're just into preadolescence, so, they're a little more outspoken than some of the other classes.

Jaime Sommers:
I'll make you a deal. I won't call you a service brat and you don't call me a broad.

Jaime Sommers:
How did you and I first meet?

Col. Steve Austin:
Well, it was my first day in the third grade and you dared me to eat one of everything in the cafeteria.

Jaime Sommers:
Did I? Did you?

Col. Steve Austin:
Yeah, I tried and I got pretty sick. But I got even with you right here on this swing.

Jaime Sommers:
Yeah, what'd you do, stick a frog down my back?

Col. Steve Austin:
[sits down on swing] No, it was a lizard.

Jaime Sommers:
Ew! That's an awful thing to do.

Helen Elgin:
[calling up the stairs] Anybody home?

Jaime Sommers:
[feeling happily self-satisfied at having landed a job at the school, and also feeling renewed confidence from having survived the first day without too much trouble] Nobody but us teachers!

Jaime Sommers:
Why do you test drive a car? Because you're thinking about buying it.

Oscar Goldman:
Well, he certainly has the money to make you a good offer.

Jaime Sommers:
Now if that is what's on his mind, why don't we make it a lot easier for him?

Jaime Sommers:
[on phone to Oscar] Nineteen thousand dollars a year for MY services? What do you think I am - - some kind of a BIONIC COCKTAIL WAITRESS? Look - - don't call me back until you're ready to talk some big money, and I mean some - - BIG - - MONEY!

Oscar Goldman:
[winces at Jaime's fake fury and deafening tirade, and flinchingly holds the phone away from his ear, while also looking grimly pleased that Jaime is really "doing her charade up brown" for him]

Jaime Sommers:
[slams down the phone, then gives a short "regretful to have to do that to such a sweet friend" giggle and blows a kiss at the phone] Sorry, Oscar.

Charles Butler:
Just take a look at that arm. Now how could anything so delicate, so feminine have so much strength?

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, there's so much more there than meets the eye.

Charles Butler:
But what does meet the eye is mighty pleasing.

Carlton Harris:
My foreign friends here were quite impressed with your abilities. And I'm sure they're quite axious to, eh, take you apart and study you.

Jaime Sommers:
Hey, you know what? This is the, eh... first time you've ever send me on a mission and I haven't messed it up. I actually think I'm gonna be okay.

Oscar Goldman:
I think so too.

Jaime Sommers:
[putting on the expensive jewelry that Carlton Harris has loaned her to wear to the party] Well, Donald, I think it's only logical that I should take this offer to work for your father, seeing as how he is paying me so well and supplying me with such luxury. Why should I turn that down?

Donald Harris:
[reluctantly] Well, I suppose you shouldn't - - if that's where your heart is.

Jaime Sommers:
[a little pointedly, since she senses an opportunity to give Donald a bit of serious "food for thought"] And where is YOUR heart, Donald?

Donald Harris:
You're a spy, aren't you? You're working undercover for the O.S.I.?

Jaime Sommers:
[still wary of the pistol that Donald is pointing at her, but still able to laugh a bit regretfully, realizing that Donald has already guessed her true mission, and so there is really no longer a risk in blowing her cover to him] Well... when you're right, you're right.

Donald Harris:
[a bit less sternly, while gradually pointing the gun away from Jaime as he speaks] Well, you know, in a way, I'm kind of glad.

Jaime Sommers:
[perking up slightly in mild hope, realizing that maybe Donald is actually "melting towards her" a bit] Really? What do you mean?

Donald Harris:
Well, I really didn't think you looked like the type that would sell out so easily. I mean, I like you, Jaime, and I didn't want to think you could truly be corrupted like that.

Roger Fowler:
All we know is that she has fantastic strength in her legs and in her right arm. Now, remember, no rough stuff. We want Jaime Sommers in good condition.

Jack Stratton:
I assure you: your merchandise will be undamaged.

Peggy Callahan:
[very upset] You, you guys! You guys are really something, aren't you? Your picking on animals and women!

Ray Burns:
Take it easy, lady. He was just knocked out like you were.

Peggy Callahan:
You creep!

Jaime Sommers:
Look, I don't mean to be laying all of this on you, Julie but, I, I , I, I cant, I don't know how to deal with, with a secret mission that they're keeping secret even from me.

Jack Stratton:
We've got the wrong woman.

Ray Burns:
Why didn't he give us that description before?

Jack Stratton:
Why didn't you ask for one?

Peggy Callahan:
Oh, this is fantastic. This is great. A simple pair of handcuffs and your bionics are useless.

Oscar Goldman:
[speaking to Mr. Secretary on the phone] That's right, and that's why I've sent for our Bionic woman, Jaime Sommers.

Jaime Sommers:
[enters Oscar's office] Sent for? Kidnapped is more like it.

Tim Sanders:
You know, If I weren't waiting for a Grand Prix sponsor right now, I would have told Bartholomew what he could with that map.

Jaime Sommers:
Oh, my stomach!

Tim Sanders:
Keep your eyes closed, we're outta sickbags.

Tim Sanders:
Come on, you dumb car, come on!

Tim Sanders:
We're gonna take him, Jaime.

Jaime Sommers:
If my kidneys don't give out first!