The Buccaneers

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Most men aren't in such a hurry to get to the gallows.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Most men don't know how to die. [Beamish smiles approvingly; both men turn to go]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Yes, that, ah, tall one, eh, threatened me!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Oh?

Lt. Edward Beamish:
By implication. He's a deserter from the navy. He admitted to throwing an officer overboard!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Smiling] Yes, he would too. He's a good man, Jack.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
He's a goo-? [Flounders in incredulous dismay] Captain Tempest, have you no sense of discipline?

Crewman Armando:
Spoke like a true naval officer, a noble fellow, most fine!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Perplexed, walks off] Tut, tut, tut.

Gov. Woodes Rogers:
Your mission is to see those goods safely through to Carolina, to bring back the money and the goods that we need.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Sarcastically] Aye, aye, skip...

Gov. Woodes Rogers:
And Dan, just in case you feel in need of a little moral support, now and then, I'm sending Lieutenant Beamish along with you.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Captain Tempest looks after Lieutenant Beamish incredulously] That stuffed monkey! [Governor Rogers chuckles softly as Captain Tempest walks off]

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Take me to the governor! I demand to see Governor Rogers!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[to the council] Excuse me. [Stepping outside] Well, Tempest!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Beamish, I want to see the governor.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Briskly] A seedy looking crew if ever I saw one. [to Bassett] The complaint?

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
Drunk and disorderly.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Lock 'em up. We shall hear the case in the morning, Mr. Bassett.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Outta my way, sonny, I want to see the governor.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Rocking back on his heels somewhat self-consciously] I AM the governor.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Horrified, looking Beamish up and down] YOU? [His friends laugh, Beamish looks nonplussed]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
The, ah, acting governor... [Beamish swiftly departs as he speaks]

Capt. Dan Tempest:
He's joking. Not that he's got any sense of humor, but he's joking, isn't he?

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
All 'ands man the guns, battle stations! Right, heave!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Mr. Bassett!

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
Sir! [Coming to attention, his pants fall down, having lost his belt earlier]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
And, ah - aren't you a little out of uniform, Mr. Bassett?

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
Spanish ship, sir, firing on the fort! [Struggling with his pants]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Observe, Mr. Bassett, there is no shot falling.

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
They're firing range, sir!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
The Spanish captain is quite properly firing a friendly salute to the representatives of His Majesty King George.

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
[Incredulously] Friendly?

Lt. Edward Beamish:
We are at peace with Spain, Mr. Bassett, don't forget that. And, ah, when they come ashore, we shall receive them with the respect due to the representatives of a friendly power. Ah, if your britches would uphold the dignity of England, Mr. Bassett? Ha, ha! Ah, ahem.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Thursday, May the, ah, whatever-it-is, in the year of our Lord, 17 ah, tsk tsk tsk, whatnot, et cetera.

Governor:
Well now, exactly what do you expect me to do about this request?

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Exasperated] Cut the red tape and give me the gunpowder so that I can get back and fight pirates.

Governor:
Young man, haven't you learned by now - it's red tape that holds the empire together.

Governor:
Captain Tempest, there is quite an abundance of chairs - I am sure that you would be more comfortable if you were to sit in one of them.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Blandly replies from his perch on the Governor's desk] I'm very comfortable here, thanks.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
You know, we're gonna do it my way. You're gonna give me the guns and the gear and the authority to get to sea and I'll fit them and fight them in my sloop!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
I've taken care of that matter in the proper manner. A special request has gone out to Jamaica suggesting they send us a special sea patrol...

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Suggesting? If you'd had the sense of a worm in a biscuit you'd realize they've enough on their hands to do without sending us any ship. I tell you, you give me the guns and the gear and we'll outfit my sloop!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Hah, trust the defense of the colony to you, oh my dear chap - I'd as soon trust my grandmother with a barracuda!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Bassett. Bassett!

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
Aye, aye, sir!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Pass the word down the line - prepare to charge when I give the signal!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Yes, you would, too! You'd go strolling down there and get your head blown off. There are better ways to come in on a galleon than bearing down under full sail. Now you keep drawing their fire. I'm gonna go down there and come in on them from the starboard. When you hear me signal from the beach - then you can make your blasted charge! [Leaves]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Hollers fiercely after him] I'm giving the orders round here, Tempest!

Petty Officer Sam Bassett:
Eh, what, ah, are the orders, sir?

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Still agitated] What do you mean, what are the orders? Charge! [pauses briefly, continues in a milder tone] When Tempest gives the signal from the beach. [Bassett smiles as he leaves]

Lt. Edward Beamish:
[Clears throat as he opens a letter, pauses and then begins to pace with agitation] Oh no! [Clears throat, addresses wall] Now look here, Tempest! [Captain Tempest enters the room behind him, unseen] Now, now, now, look here Tempest, old chap, there can be no reason - ah, there can be no real reason - there can be absolutely no real reason why two grown men should not be able to...

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Interrupts] Able to what?

Lt. Edward Beamish:
To, mm? [Turns and sees Tempest, who laughs. Beamish chuckles uncomfortably] I was just talking to you - I, I mean I want to talk to you...

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Interrupting] And I want to talk to you! We've got to get this defense question settled once and for all.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Now, now, now, now, look here, Captain Tempest, there can be no reason, no real reason why two grown up men should not be able to, to - oh well, dash it all, we've got the Spanish enemy in common!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Oh stop flapping like a torn jib, man - come on out with it!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Captain Tempest - [takes a deep breath and clears his throat] I have here a communication from Jamaica. The Royal Navy advises - tha... Oh, read it yourself! [Shoves paper at Tempest, walks to the other side of the room]

Capt. Dan Tempest:
[Reading] On the recommendation of Woods Rogers, you are hereby requested to offer Captain Dan Tempest the task of patrolling the shores and sea approaches of New Providence. [Interjects to Beamish] Fine! I accept!

Lt. Edward Beamish:
Well, the arrangements are to be, I take it, under the usual privateer's commission: we'll furnish the arms and the provisions, et cetera, and you and your crew will get fifty percent of all goods confiscated in action.

Capt. Dan Tempest:
Well, more or less.

Lt. Edward Beamish:
More or less is not the usual mode of agreement, Captain Tempest!

Capt. Dan Tempest:
I'm not the usual mode of sea patrol, Mr. Beamish! This'll do for the present - we'll, ah, make up the rest as we go along, eh? [Chuckles gleefully]