The Bugs Bunny/Road-Runner Movie

Wile E. Coyote:
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is "Wile E. Coyote"... Genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college, so let's get down to cases. You are a rabbit, and I am going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are... and I'm a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.

Bugs Bunny:
I'm sorry, mac, but the lady of the house ain't home and besides we mailed you people a check last week!

[Slam]

Wile E. Coyote:
Why do they always want to do it the hard way?

[Last line of the movie, after the the WB logo closes in]

Bugs Bunny:
Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds.

Daffy Duck:
All right! Let's get this picture started!

[a black screen with a "THE END" sign appears]

Daffy Duck:
[demanding the unseen animator to show himself] All Right! I've had enough of this. This is the final, final Straw-WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS! I DEMAND THAT YOU SHOW YOURSELF! WHO ARE YOU? HUH?

[the animator draws a door in front of Daffy and shuts it, then he reveals himself as BUGS BUNNY!]

Bugs Bunny:
Heh!Heh! Ain't I a stinker?

Bugs Bunny:
[Giovanni Jones has nailed him with his banjo for interupting his singing practice] Music-Hater.

Bugs Bunny:
[sees Giovanni Jones staring at him] Eh, what's up, Doc? [Giovanni Jones sandwiches him with the harp, then leaves] Hmm, also a Rabbit-Hater. Oh, well.

Bugs Bunny:
[sees Giovanni Jones coming again] Uh-oh!

[Hides under his horn, but Jones grabs him out of it, then ties his ears on a tree branch and makes him bounce up and down]

Bugs Bunny:
Of course you realize, this means War!

Elmer Fudd:
[sticking his spear in a rabbit hole] [singing] Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit!

Bugs Bunny:
[peeps out from another hole] Kill the Wabbit?

Elmer Fudd:
Yo-ho-to-ho!Yo-ho-to-ho!Yo-ho... [Bugs steps in]

Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock! Might I inquire to ask-Eh, [eats a carrot] what's up, Doc?

Elmer Fudd:
[singing] I am going to kill the Wabbit!

Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Oh, mighty hunter, twil be quite a task. How will you do it? Might I inquire to ask?

Elmer Fudd:
[singing] I will do it with my spear and magic helmet!

Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Your spear and magic helmet?

Elmer Fudd:
[singing] Spear and magic helmet!

Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Magic helmet?

Elmer Fudd:
[singing] Magic helmet!

Bugs Bunny:
Magic helmet.

Elmer Fudd:
[after Reconizing Bugs' Disqiuse] I'll kill the Wabbit! [goes to the top of a mountain to cast his spell] Arise, Storm. North winds blow! South winds blow! Typhoons... Hurricanes... Earthquakes! SMOG!

Bugs Bunny:
Well, what did you expect in an opera, a happy ending?

Bugs Bunny:
So you see, that's how chases began, and that's how I came into the picture, just a mild mannered forest creature, shy, easily frightened. A quiet-living rabbit am I. And yet... I guess in a way I *am* an unusual rabbit on account of, uh... instead of having hundreds of children, like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit, I had several fathers, fathers with odd names, like Tex Avery... uh, Friz Freleng... Chuck Jones... and Bob McKimson, the ones who directed most of me pictures. Fathers like Tedd Pierce... Warren Foster... and Mike Maltese, who wrote most of me bee-ography. And of course a father named Mel Blanc, who had thousands of voices and was nice enough to give me one of them. This show you're gonna see now is about what just one of those fathers did with me and me cartoon associates, an animation director who goes by the unlikely name of Chuck Jones. And old Chuck seemed determined to get poor little old me into outer space, too.

[Bugs and Daffy are trying to convince Elmer to shoot the other and make a meal out of him]

Elmer Fudd:
I'm sorry fellas, but I'm a vegetarian. I just hunt for the sport of it. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Bugs Bunny:
Oh yeah! Well there's other sports besides hunting, you know!

[Daffy appears in a tennis outfit]

Daffy Duck:
Anyone for tennis.

[Elmer shoots him]

Daffy Duck:
Nice game.

Wile E. Coyote:
[dazed] Allow me to introduce myself: my name is Mud. [he passes out]

Bugs Bunny:
And remember, "mud" spelled backwards is "dum".

Daffy Duck:
Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.

Daffy Duck:
[as Duck Dodgers, arriving on Planet X] I claim this planet in the name of the Earth!

Marvin the Martian:
[also arriving on Planet X] I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely, hmm?

Bugs Bunny:
Eh... after all, *pulls down credit card* credits where credit is due!