The Case of the Black Cat

Sam Laxter:
I hate people when they're old. They're just a nuisance. If ever I reach that age - which I doubt - I hope someone will have the kindness to do away with me.

Perry Mason:
Give me a 7 letter word that starts with S that means lawyer.

Della Street:
Shyster.

District Attorney Hamilton Burger:
[arresting Douglas Keene] Come with me, Mr. Keene.

Perry Mason:
Oh don't be so formal, Burger, just call him Aunt Effie.

Perry Mason:
[after announcing Wilma's cut out of the will] So what're you going to do now?

Wilma Laxter:
Do you like waffles?

Perry Mason:
Come again?

Wilma Laxter:
I've managed to save away some money from my allowance, that way I can be independent. And I'm going to open a waffle shop, what do you think?

Perry Mason:
On one condition.

Wilma Laxter:
What's that?

Perry Mason:
That you have plenty of melted butter.

Della Street:
[seated at a booth in the waffle house] Are you tickling my ankle?

Perry Mason:
You think I would?

Della Street:
I know you are. [looks down and sees Clinker] Oh! [picks him up, looks at Perry] I'm sorry, I really thought that was you.

Perry Mason:
Well, it's not a bad idea.

Perry Mason:
[Working on a crossword puzzle] I tell you what I'll do, Della. I'll settle for a seven letter word beginning with S meaning lawyer.

Della Street:
Shyster!

Perry Mason:
Getting a bit fresh, aren't we, Della?

Perry Mason:
[Walking through the apartment hallway] Louise DeVoe - that sounds more like a chorus girl than a nurse.

Paul Drake:
What are you gonna tell her, chief?

Perry Mason:
She's the one that's gotta tell - I hope.

Della Street:
You and your cats! You'll probably end up in jail!

Perry Mason:
A lot of interesting people in jail, Della.