The Cowboy Way

Waiter:
How would you like your steaks cooked?

Pepper:
Oh, just knock its horns off, wipe its nasty ass, and chunk it right here on this plate.

Sonny:
It's your call, stubby.

Pepper:
If it's got hair, I can ride it. If it's got a beat, I can dance to it.

Boy on Train:
Look, Mom!... Cowboys!

Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
And would you care to order wine with your meal?

Pepper:
Uh, yah why don't you bring us a bottle of something or other, uh not too sweet, American.

Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
American something or other, yes sir an excellent choice and would you like glasses or do you prefer to drink directly from the bottle?

Pepper:
Well, um, glasses I reckon and oh hay toss a litle ice in mine if you would my good man.

Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
Ice, certainly sir. Nothing could surprise me now.

Sonny:
So, what did you do to make the money to buy this? You didn't give that old lady a fake check did you?

Pepper:
No, of course not. [under his breath] B*tch wouldn't take a check.

Sonny:
[Pepper drags Sonny behind a Horse Carriage hiding from the Owners of the Waldorf Astoria] Pepper, those People are guessing that You skipped the Bill.

Pepper:
Oh yeah, well they guessed right!

Sonny:
Well, then pay them!

Pepper:
Yeah right, with what?

Sonny:
You lying Son of a B*tch, You told Me You still got some of that Prize Money left!

Pepper:
Of course I do, have I ever lied to You before?

Sonny:
Well, how much do You got?

Pepper:
About 8 Bucks, I reckon.

Sonny:
About 8 Bucks, I reckon?

Pepper:
Better than a poke in the Eye.

Sonny:
[Starts walking off] Pepper, I've about had it with You!

Sonny:
Well what do you know, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants!

Chango:
What's a baby cow gonna do to me? [Sonny shrugs and pulls down Chango's pants] Hey come on man!, what you doing?

Sonny:
I am embarrassed, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants.

Pepper:
[pulls a baby calf out of the barn and the calf starts snorting] He sees it!

Sonny:
Damn, that hungry devil thinks your little wee-wee is his mama's teat.

Chango:
Hey hey man, you guys can't do this.

Sonny:
I'll ask you one more time a**hole, where's Teresa?

Chango:
I ain't telling you sh*t!

Sonny:
It's your call stubby, let him go Pepper!. [Pepper releases the calf and it makes its way towards Chango]

Chango:
whoa! [begins to moan as the calf begins to suck his penis]

Sonny:
Damn, that looks like it hurts.