The Croods: A New Age

[Grug and Phil are relaxing in a sauna inside Phil's man cave]

Phil:
[sighs in relief] Don't tell Mrs. Betterman. While she think's I'm toiling in the hot sun, I'm actually in here in my man cave.

Grug:
Whew! It's hot in here.

Phil:
Grug, it might be a bit more comfortable if you removed your fur pelt.

Grug:
Uh, I already did. [points to his fur pelt hanging on a rack next to Phil's clothes]

Phil:
Right. It's a place where a father can escape the chaos of family life. Relax. Hang with his bros... if bros he has. Another shark milk?

Grug:
So, you come in here to... hide from your family?

Phil:
Not hide, help. I help my family. [slurps his shark milk and lays down on his chair]

Grug:
So, uh, how does this help your family?

Phil:
Yeah, is where I find solutions to my family's biggest problems. [throws a spoonful of water into hot coals, making more steam]

Grug:
Okay.

Phil:
So, feeling relaxed? Comfortable? Susceptible to suggestion? [in a puff of steam, Phil is suddenly next to Grug] What's your problem, big guy?

Grug:
Uh, I don't have a problem.

Phil:
Come on, Grug. I've seen you moping around. What's your problem?

Grug:
I'm hot. That's my problem.

Phil:
Knock-knock. I'm knocking on the door, big guy. Open it.

Grug:
No...

Phil:
Open up to me.

Grug:
No.

Phil:
Share with me.

Grug:
Uh-uh. I don't wanna. I'm hot.

Phil:
Tell me your problem.

Grug:
I don't have a problem. You have a problem.

Phil:
Tell me your problem. [echoing]

Grug:
Don't...

Phil:
Tell me...

Grug:
I don't...

Phil:
Tell me, tell me, tell me...

Grug:
[finally snaps] I DON'T LIKE IT HERE, ALRIGHT?! My pack's all split up, there's no one to sleep pile with, you won't let me eat bananas, Guy gave Eep a rock, he kissed my hand! They're planning on leaving the pack. And I don't like you at all!

Phil:
Hmm, not that's interesting.

Grug:
Yeah, maybe I just need to get to know you better.

Phil:
No, not that. The part about Eep and Guy.

Grug:
Oh. Guy's trying to take my daughter away.

Phil:
Father to father, I worry about my daughter, too. She was so lonely before Guy came back.

Grug:
Yeah. It's almost like Guy's the problem.

Phil:
Wait a minute. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

Grug:
Yes. No. I don't know.

Phil:
Are you suggesting we take Guy off your hands, so Dawn isn't lonely, so Eep stays with your and your pack?

Grug:
Uh, am I?

Phil:
Why, Grug, that's a truly great idea! You've done it! You've solved both our problems!

Grug:
No, really?

Phil:
So, we have a deal, bro?

Grug:
[shakes Phil's hand] Deal.

Grug:
[as he sees the wall] What the heck is that?!

Grug:
This place is changing everyone.

Grug:
[to Thunk] In my day, we didn't stare at birds! We fought them!

Grug:
It's not just punch monkeys. It-it's kick monkeys, headbutt monkeys, low-blow monkeys, bite monkeys, ab-tight monkeys, shoulders that punch, tails that crunch, tail-stranglers, strange danglers, fang manglers, mouth breathers, brain squeezers, and a dude with... weird eyes!

Eep:
Dad always says the packs sticks together.

Eep:
A girl... friend! I've never had a girlfriend before!

Guy:
[repeated line] Genius!

Guy:
Hold on. Stop. You accessorize with a sloth? I accessorize with a sloth!

Guy:
I'm fluent in punch monkey.

Guy:
[after he gets captured by the shaman monkey] I think I'm his new pet.

Phil Betterman:
We happy meet you.

Phil Betterman:
Grug, you might be more comfortable if you remove your fur pelt. [Grug: I already did.]

Hope Betterman:
I thought cave people died off years ago.

Hope Betterman:
Emphasis on the "better".

Hope Betterman:
I don't know if cave people belong in a modern world.

Dawn Batterman:
Every mark is an adventure.

Dawn Batterman:
[as Eep reveals her peanut toe to her] Whoa, peanut toe.

Dawn Batterman:
I got a scar.