The Devil's Double

[first lines]

Azzam:
[to Latif] Hey.

Uday Hussein:
Didn't you once paint a picture of my father? You still have it?

Latif Yahia:
I gave it to you.

Uday Hussein:
I have an awful feeling I told him I did it myself.

Munem:
Latif is the best we could find. And we looked.

Uday Hussein:
Well I have to have him.

Latif Yahia:
[to Uday] You are asking me to extinguish myself.

Munem:
Please be clear about this, Latif. Uday has chosen you. You belong to him. You have about five minutes to think about this. Before a car pulls up outside your house in Al-Adhamiya and your family, everyone one of them - your father, your mother, your sisters and brothers; is thrown into Abu Ghraib. God willing, they will die quickly. I've said too much. You have about two minutes left.

Yassem Al-Helou:
[about Uday] Poor child never knows what to wear. He changes his mind every five minutes. Depends on what car he's driving. Honestly, habibi, that boy - he wears me out.

Latif Yahia:
I wrote to my mother once a week. She's going to think that I got killed in Iran.

Munem:
Inshallah.

Latif Yahia:
Inshallah? My family are going to think that I'm dead.

Munem:
Let them think you died a martyr. I know it's difficult, but it's what Uday wants. He will accept nothing less.

Latif Yahia:
She will be knocking on the door of every hospital in Baghdad.

Munem:
When you say your prayers tonight, when you turn out the light and close your eyes, this is what you should be saying to yourself: "Latif Yahia is dead. He died in Iran. May God have mercy on him. Now I am Uday Saddam Hussein."

Uday Hussein:
I had a word with Dr. Linz. He says your cock's too big. We need to make a surgical reduction.

Latif Yahia:
A what?

Uday Hussein:
Chop a bit off.

Latif Yahia:
What?

Uday Hussein:
Not much. Just a teeny-weeny.

Latif Yahia:
Not much?

Uday Hussein:
My cock is well-known in Baghdad. The women, they talk.

[pause]

Uday Hussein:
I'm just joking with you, you f***!

Sarrab:
Who's this?

Uday Hussein:
Latif? He's my brother. Nobody must know, but Saddam; he has three sons. You tell anybody this, I will have to cut your tongue out with a razor and feed it to the cat.

Sarrab:
Poor Uday. Sometimes I think he wants to f*** himself to death.

Saddam Hussein:
[to Latif] God is great. He gave me two sons. Now I have three.

Saddam Hussein:
[about Uday] I should have gelded him at birth.

Uday Hussein:
Latif? I can't sleep.

Latif Yahia:
Take a pill.

[after Uday has kidnapped a school-girl off the street]

Uday Hussein:
Don't f***ing look at me like that.

Latif Yahia:
Like what?

Uday Hussein:
Like that. I know that f***ing look. I know what you're thinking. Think what the f*** you like. I like c*nt. I want c*nt. I see a c*nt, I want to f*** it. I don't care. I love my country. I love my mother, father. But I love c*nt more than I love God!

Uday Hussein:
[referring to Latif's televised speech] Are you watching?

Qusay:
He didn't fool me, my brother.

Uday Hussein:
You can tell? How?

Qusay:
For one thing, he's sober. And second, he's not foaming at the mouth.

Uday Hussein:
[to Latif] I will never let you go. I will *never* let you go.

[kisses Latif's neck]

Uday Hussein:
I love you too much.

Uday Hussein:
[to Latif, about having sex with a transvestite] I quite enjoyed it. It hurt like hell. I thought I would need stitches.

[last lines]

Ali:
Clear the area! Move!

Uday Hussein:
Justice? Compassion? F*** this!

Uday Hussein:
[to Latif, moments before being shot in the genitals] Latif?

Uday Hussein:
[to Latif] You call this man a pimp?