The Facts of Life

Larry Gilbert:
...and she said, "That's not a new stance - "

Kitty Weaver:
That's a new husband.

Kitty Weaver:
Am I really doing this? Me, Kitty Weaver? Secretary to the PTA? Den mother to the Cub Scouts? Am I really going to San Francisco to spend the weekend... with the husband of my best friend?

Kitty Weaver:
[after Larry criticizes her for buying a rabbit instead of a chicken at the grocery store] IT WAS LYING DOWN!

Larry Gilbert:
[Kitty yawns during Larry's routine] Madam, your Vodka gimlets are showing. Vodka, that's an alcohol rub from the inside.

Singer on the Radio:
[Kitty is nervously waiting for Larry. She switches on the radio] This is my first affair, so please be kind... [Kitty quickly shuts off the radio]

Larry Gilbert:
Are you sure you're with the right woman?

Man in Motel Room:
No buddy, I'm with the wrong woman, but I've been with her for 30 years.

Kitty Weaver:
Can't sleep.

Larry Gilbert:
Me either.

Kitty Weaver:
I'm starved.

Larry Gilbert:
Me too.

Kitty Weaver:
What's your opinion of eating late at night?

Larry Gilbert:
Suicide.

Kitty Weaver:
Ever do it?

Larry Gilbert:
Only late at night.

Larry Gilbert:
How old are you?

Kitty Weaver:
Five years younger than you. How old are you?