The Favourite

Queen Anne:
[after her fall] They were all staring, weren't they? I can tell even if I can't see. And I heard the word fat! Fat and ugly!

Lady Sarah:
Anne, no one but me would dare and I did not.

Lady Sarah:
Anne, you are too sensitive.

Queen Anne:
And you are too mean and uncaring, some days.

Lady Sarah:
Some days I'm quite lovely though. Let's think on them!

Lady Sarah:
None for the queen.

Queen Anne:
What?

Lady Sarah:
Well you cannot have hot chocolate. Your stomach, the sugar inflames it.

Queen Anne:
Abigail, hand me that cup!

Lady Sarah:
[casually] Do not.

Abigail:
I'm sorry I do not know what to do.

Lady Sarah:
Oh fine, give it to her. And you can get a bucket and mop for the aftermath.

Abigail:
You're so beautiful.

Queen Anne:
Stop it, you mock me.

Abigail:
I do not. If I were a man, I would ravish you!

Abigail:
My dear friend and cousin, how good to see you've returned from...

Lady Sarah:
Hell. I'm sure you shall pass through it one day.

Robert Harley:
I wish to make a statement to the queen.

Lady Sarah:
State it to me. I love a comedy. Is there cake?

Abigail:
[after Sarah slaps Abigail twice in the face] Obviously you still have some anger issues. I will allow it this once.

Lady Sarah:
Congratulations on your wedding night.

[Abigail snorts dismissively]

Lady Sarah:
Abigail has done this. She does not love you.

Queen Anne:
Because how could anyone? She wants nothing from me. Unlike you.

Lady Sarah:
She wants nothing from you. And yet somehow she is a lady. With 2000 a year, and Harley sits on your knee most nights.

Queen Anne:
I wish you could love me as she does!

Lady Sarah:
You wish me to lie to you? "Oh you look like an angel fallen from heaven, your majesty." No. Sometimes, you look like a badger. And you can rely on me to tell you.

Queen Anne:
Why?

Lady Sarah:
Because I will not lie! That is love!

Sidney Godolphin:
Obviously you have chosen to keep the particulars of your dismissal from me. I shall leave a gap in the conversation for you to remedy that.

[silence and dead stares from Lady Sarah]

Sidney Godolphin:
I do not know of women and their feelings, but I know they nurse their hurts like wailing newborns.

Lady Sarah:
Godolphin, I have a surge of desire to see your nose broken. Your point?

Abigail:
[about the war] If your husband dies?

Lady Sarah:
Did you not sacrifice your c*nt for a fatty German to save your father?

Abigail:
Yes.

Lady Sarah:
There is always a price to pay. I am prepared to pay it.

Abigail:
You should lie down.

Queen Anne:
You shall speak when asked to! I feel dizzy, I need to hold on to something.

[she grabs Abigail's hair]