The Flash

Barry Allen:
[after Tina hacks into a security system] Tina, you're beautiful!

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
'Bout time you noticed!

[knock on the door, Terry opens the door and Captain Cold is standing in front of her]

Captain Cold:
You ordered some ice?

Terri Kronenberg:
[screams]

Captain Cold:
[screams viciously]

Captain Cold:
What's the matter? [pause] Don't you wanna come out and play?

Captain Cold:
[laughing]

Captain Cold:
I'm here to take you to the Ice Capades.

Captain Cold:
I'll huff and I'll puff... and I'll freeze all your stuff.

[while holding a guitar]

Flash:
Hey, Lesko! YOU READY TO ROCK?

[Barry walks his dog, Earl, past a movie theater showing a double feature:
Batman - Superman. Earl tries to steer Barry into the theater]

Barry Allen:
Woah. Hey, Earl. Earl. Come on. Hey, don't we get enough of that? Huh?

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
They don't know who killed him or why. But, Barry, I was hoping that maybe you...

Barry Allen:
I'm already on the case, Tina. I'll do whatever I can, on or off duty.

[Barry notices and picks up an award from the mantle]

Barry Allen:
Oh, the Arkham expos?, I remember that. He was some writer.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
The best. But, you know Phil always hated these awards.

Joan Sullivan:
He called them bowling trophies. It never stopped him from letting me put them up.

Officer Tony Bellows:
All right, young man, can you say "I'm in big trouble"?

[Terry lights a cigarette]

Officer Tony Bellows:
What are you doing? Hey, this is a no-smoking area.

Officer Michael Murphy:
Hey, kid, at your size, you can't afford to stunt your growth. Put that thing out.

[Terry sticks the cigarette into Murphy's bean dip]

Officer Michael Murphy:
Last kid that did that's now called Stumpy.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
Barry, you may be my best friend, but you've become my worst patient.

Julio Mendez:
Has anyone ever told you that you have the sensitivity of a rock?

Joe Kline:
Yeah, my mother, babe.

Nicholas Pike:
[to Barry] You know... I really like this city, and I am going to enjoy destroying it. And there's not a thing you can do about it. I mean, I can get away with anything, right? After all, I killed your brother. I mean, you should have heard him beg for his life. Oh, it was pathetic. But the, I guess cowardice is a family trait.

[Barry punches him]

Nicholas Pike:
Maybe The Flash can outrun bullets and bombs, but let him try to outrun this.

[reveals a missile]

Barry Allen:
I'm sick of the whole business, all right? I want to live a normal life without life and death emergencies happening every time I turn around.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
But you can't just leave town. I mean, where would you go?

Barry Allen:
I don't know. I... I'd travel around. Who knows? If I find someplace I like, maybe I won't come back at all.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
So, you're just going to turn your back on Central City and all its problems?

Barry Allen:
According to Joe Kline, I am the problem.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
Barry, Joe Kline is just one man.

Barry Allen:
I never wanted these powers in the first place.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
And now, because you feel unappreciated, you're just going to quit.

Barry Allen:
You know, sometimes I get really tired of you critiquing my entire life like you were my therapist or my mother. I mean, you're not exactly the easiest person to get along with, you know?

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
I never realized my friendship was such a burden. You know, maybe it would be better for both of us if you left town.

Barry Allen:
Look, this is not about appreciation. The man who murdered my brother has been set free. The system I have believed in my entire life has blown up in my face. And now somebody's actually accusing me of murdering Jay. You don't understand. You can't understand.

Barry Allen:
Juilo, where are we?

Julio Mendez:
The old Devil's Gate reservoir.

Barry Allen:
Pike's old hideout?

Julio Mendez:
He'd never think of looking for us here.

Barry Allen:
Well, wait a minute, why are all these people staring at us?

Lt. Warren Garfield:
Because they know you're The Flash.

Barry Allen:
Lieutenant Garfield.

Lt. Warren Garfield:
Oh, good to see you, Barry! Or should I say The Flash?

Barry Allen:
This is crazy. The Flash was just a man.

Lt. Warren Garfield:
Well, not to these people. Especially the younger ones? He's a hero.

The Flash:
The future's starting to look a lot brighter.

Desmond Powell:
Slow down, Speedy. We got to have a plan. Hop in.

[opens the door to his car]

The Flash:
No. Bad for the image.

[runs off]

[after creating his first sonic boom]

Barry Allen:
I think I'm startin' to like this.

Nicolas Pike:
What are you? And where did you come from?

Flash:
I came from you, Pike! You made me when you killed my brother.

Nicolas Pike:
I killed a lot of men's brothers.

Chief Arthur Cooper:
Pike, this is Chief Cooper. I'm giving you sixty seconds to come out of there, or we'll fill that building with so much tear-gas, you'll be crying for the rest of your life.

Nicolas Pike:
Who the hell does he think he's dealing with, some punk robbing his first liquor store?

Barry Allen:
[as he's holding a bag of dog food] Now I know I'm in trouble. Even the kibble's starting to look good.

Barry Allen:
Listen, my skin isn't affected by speed, do I really need to wear this thing?

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
Well, if your clothes keep falling apart, it's either this, or you can run buck naked.

Barry Allen:
Oh, thank you.

Julio Mendez:
I'm switching you to decaf.

Nora Allen:
So what did you wish for, big guy?

Jay Allen:
I just wished for a little bit of my brother's brains.

Barry Allen:
Hey, leave me out of this. You're not doing so bad for your own, Jay.

Henry Allen:
Hell, 42 years old, commander of the motorcycle division. I think you're doing pretty damn well for yourself. Not to mention taking down that Conway and his hijacking crew.

Jay Allen:
Actually, Dad, that was Barry and the Crime Lab boys who put us onto Conway.

Henry Allen:
Sure, sure, lab boys are important. But real cops, you know, work the street facing the scum of the earth with nothing to back you up but...

Jay Allen, Barry Allen, Henry Allen:
A gun, a badge and a prayer.

Linda Park:
You're not with the Homicide department, are you?

Barry Allen:
No. Crime Lab. Want to film us pouring plaster into tire tracks?

Linda Park:
[to her cameraman] Cut it. Let's see if we can find a real detective.

Julio Mendez:
Well, see if you can find us a real newscaster while you're at it. I swear she was on the Shopping Channel selling earrings last week.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
If the people I work with learn about you, they're going to try to take control of your treatment. You'll be studied, analyzed, tested...

Barry Allen:
They can't do that, I'm a private citizen.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
Look, if you have anywhere near the power I suspect you do, the government will classify you as a security risk. They'll try to take your cells apart, try to make a hundred of you.

Barry Allen:
I think you've been reading too many comic books.

Barry Allen:
[interrogating Lila] Pretty frightening, how you and your friends were caught last night. What was it again, a demon? The guys around the station think you're all on drugs, you know, or crazy. But I know better. I know you really did see a demon. He was red as blood, wasn't he? And fast, like a flash. So if you care about Pike, you'll tell us where he is, because, Lila, if we don't find him, The Flash will.

Barry Allen:
Pike has been terrorizing the city. Well, I'm gonna terrorize him. You know that insignia of his? That blood dot they all wear on their backs? Well, I've got one of my own.

[shows a drawing of a lightning bolt]

Barry Allen:
[to his nephew Shawn] Any time you need me, I'll be there for you. I couldn't run like your dad, but I'll be there in a flash.

Ruth Werneke:
Tina, I was wondering when you were going to finish that report.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
I'm working on it now, Ruth.

Ruth Werneke:
I'll be in my office. And I'd like to get home before dawn.

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
[Ruth leaves] Yes, wouldn't we all?

Barry Allen:
What happens at dawn? She turns into a human being?

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
One of these days, I'm gonna strangle her.

Rebecca Frost:
Oh, no. I'm much too busy.

Curtis Bohannan:
Fear me, death merchants!

Steve 4X:
What the hell are you?

Curtis Bohannan:
Justice.

Barry Allen:
You saved my life, and you're the only other person I know who wears the mask.

Dr. Desmond Powell:
Oh, no. Wore. I came out of retirement for that Ghost business. Thought I was twenty-five again.

Barry Allen:
Next time, just tell me where we're headed.

Dr. Desmond Powell:
The hell with that. Then you'd end up beating me here. When I go to this much trouble, I want to get my money's worth.

Curtis Bohannan:
It should have been all three of us. You, me, and the Flash.

Dr. Desmond Powell:
Yeah, just a bunch of crimefighters out murdering the bad guys.

Barry Allen:
How'd you get involved with, uh... Mandrake here?

Megan Lockhart:
Routine repo job. His name's James Jesse, like Jesse James only backwards and twisted. I followed him across state lines and he turns the tables and starts chasing me. I thought I lost him on the back roads, and then he set up a trap for me here. How was I supposed to know he was a homicidal maniac?

Matthews:
I gotta tell you, I'm impressed, ma'am. Took real guts to take this guy down.

Megan Lockhart:
Oh, it was nothing, really. A little martial arts training and a lot of street fighting.

Williams:
Well, you hit the jackpot with this bird. He's been tough to track. He's got more personalities than a variety show. He's wanted for murder in five states.

James Jesse:
That's six states. And she didn't stop me. It was that... Flash thing.

Williams:
Yeah, right. And I'm Bugs Bunny.

Julio Mendez:
So you're on for tomorrow night?

Barry Allen:
Tomorrow night?

Julio Mendez:
What is this, a convenient memory lapse? Sabrina's roommate from college, from Chicago?

Barry Allen:
Another blind date? Oh, come on, Julio, let's look at the record here. Last month, it was Maxine the manicurist. Topics of conversation were my cuticles and her snow globe collection. Then there was Gwen. Divorced four times in six years.

Julio Mendez:
Okay, so she had a run of bad luck.

Barry Allen:
Yeah, well so have I, all right? No more reincarnated Babylonian priestesses, no more birthday party clowns.

Julio Mendez:
Hey, look, Cookie made real good balloon animals.

Barry Allen:
Oh, Cookie! Look, I am not that desperate, all right?

[Jesse has taken a bailiff's gun and tried to shoot his lawyer, but the bailiff gets in the way and is shot instead]

James Jesse:
Sacrificing yourself for a lawyer? Time to rethink your priorities, bub.

The Flash:
[catches bullets fired at The Trickster] It's not guns that kill people. It's these little hard things.

[throws a bullet back at Officer Bellows]

The Trickster:
Nobody tricks the Trickster. Nobody!

Denise Cowan:
Don't be a fool.

James Jesse:
I can't help it.

Zoey Clark:
You have to let me in. You have to. I'm carrying the Trickster's child.

Officer Michael Murphy:
Well, you're just gonna have to carry him right back where you came from, lady.

Officer Tony Bellows:
Murph, what are you doing?

Officer Michael Murphy:
I can no longer live a lie, Bellows. That's right, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea, Michael Frances Murphy is the Flash.

Lt. Warren Garfield:
Officer Murphy, please remember that you are a policeman.

Officer Michael Murphy:
Yes, sir. It was a joke, sir.

Lt. Warren Garfield:
I have no sense of humor, tonight.

The Flash:
Hey... I could vibrate my fingers through somebody's brain!

James Jesse:
Oh ho ho! Gross! Well, maybe later.

James Jesse:
Are you prepared to carry out sentence, Mr. Executioner?

The Flash:
[brandishing array of death weapons] Uh... no. I, uh, can't decide which to use!

James Jesse:
[guffawing] Well. That's why they call me the hanging judge.

The Flash:
Well what would you do? Run through the streets stark naked at 350 miles per hour with bells on your toes?

Megan Lockhart:
[Barry zooms out of his lab] Does that weird you out?

Christina 'Tina' McGee:
All the time.