The Footy Show

Billy Brownless:
An eye's worth half a testicle.

Trevor Marmalade:
I avoid clich?s like the plague.

Trevor Marmalade:
Yes, Ed, I am a comedian. Hopefully this will become more apparent as the show progresses.

Himself - Co-Host:
What sort of name is Dal Santo?

Himself - Panelist:
It's my last name.

Trevor Marmalade:
[referring to a controversial incident on the Australian series of Big Brother during a discussion of the West Coast squad] That's the big news - Cox out, and both evicted from the house.

Eddie McGuire:
Todd, I've gotta ask you though, or I'd get sacked as the journo. I'd have to front the CEO tomorrow if I didn't ask you a question about what it was like down in that mine.

Todd Russell:
Tell me how big your chequebook is and we'll talk.

Eddie McGuire:
Once upon a time, I used to ask the questions and give the cheques away.

James Brayshaw:
[During a live cross to Nathan Brown at the Crown Sports Bar] Brownie, the last time we sent Dermott Brereton down to do one of these, he belted the you know what out of someone. Are you having any of those issues?

Nathan Brown:
No, not tonight, Jim, and I'm a lover, not a fighter, but this man, he's a lover also. He's a half Texan, half Australian, half American, Nick Riewoldt. Bit of a rebuilding phase for the Saints, but you'd be excited, skipper, about the young folks coming through.

Nick Riewoldt:
That's three halves, Brownie, you realise you can't be one and a half people.