The Giant Mechanical Man

Pauline:
I never believed in you, Tim. I just thought you were charming.

George:
Have you ever seen Three's Company?

Janice:
The TV show?

Doug:
I once had a wool sweater. It was really itchy. I almost wore it when I was flying to London in first class for a book signing. I'm an author.

Tim:
What do you do?

Janice:
I sell these little plastic gorillas filled with grape juice.

Doug:
And thank you so much for allowing me to be your tour guide today through the Conversation Nation. So, hey! Are you guys ready to go on your tour... or what?

Doug:
Hey, if I wanted to kiss you, I would say, "I want to kiss you." Simple. Just like that.

Tim:
Sometimes I have dreams that my teeth are falling out.

Janice:
Are you serious? I have that dream. I just had that dream.

Janice:
Sometimes I just feel invisible. And I heard someone say something recently, that it just takes one person, you know. Just one person to make you feel like you belong. To make you feel special. And I think that that's true. I know that that's true because... because I felt it. The other night, I was out with this guy that I work with and... I work at the zoo and... and anyway, it was only for one night, but it just... it felt different, you know.

Janice:
[to Zoo Patron] Hey! Don't punch the monkey!

Tim:
I think you're just... great. Because you know what's so great about you? You're real. You don't pretend like you've got it all figured out, like everyone else walking around life. You're real. You're genuine, and you notice things, too. You pay attention. Like the monkeys. I don't know. I look at you, and... I can see you. I see you. I don't know. I just think you're great.

Hal Baker:
Why'd you choose to do this robot thing...

Tim:
Why'd I choose to do it, Umm. It just happens to be my talent. And I feel like, I also thought, you know, it might be something to brighten people's lives up.

Hal Baker:
Whaddya mean?

Tim:
I guess I feel that modern life can be alienating, and it can be like you're mindlessly walking through it. Like a robot. And you can feel lost. I guess I just want people to know that they're not crazy, that everybody at home and everybody watching the show today, you're not crazy. I mean life is crazy, right? Maybe if you see a giant mechanical man, you know, wandering down the street toward you, maybe that it could put it into perspective for you, you know?

Mitch's Sidekick:
So it's 50 inches. How much that cost you?

Mitch:
Like, three grand.

Mitch's Sidekick:
Oh, that's not bad.

Tim:
You're kidding, right?

Mitch:
Excuse me...

Tim:
Three thousand dollars for a TV? Ever heard of books?

Mitch:
No, we didn't have those at Harvard.

Tim:
It's depressing.

Janice:
What do you mean?

Tim:
I mean, human beings evolved out of millions of years out of the swamp, and stood up, made fire, built shelter, invented the wheel... For what, so you could stand in a funny hat and sell grape juice gorillas?

Janice:
I'm kinda trying not to think about it like that.

[last lines]

Janice:
[walking along and talking on the phone] Actually, I'm looking for Tim right now... There he is.