The Gods Must Be Crazy II

[Two soldiers both point a gun at each other at the same time. Cuban soldier then drops his gun]

Mateo:
All right, I'm your goddamn prisoner!

Timi:
I don't want you... You're a shitty prisoner.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[to monkey who keeps taking her water] All right, you can have this one, but no more! Leave the can! Do you hear me?

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[collects some rocks] Do you see these? Don't you dare. Don't even think about it. You'll be sorry.

Brenner:
There was three game wardens and a woman.

Ramsjey:
[In radio] What did you do?

Brenner:
I tied them up.

Brenner:
[suddenly sees them escaping in rear view mirror]

Brenner:
What the hell?

Brenner:
[stops the truck and leaps out] George!

Brenner:
[his yell echoes through the canyon]

George:
[guilty panic] Yes, boss?

Brenner:
[in radio] Big Ben calling...

Brenner:
[suddenly turns to George who is driving]

Brenner:
What the hell do you think you're doing?

George:
What do you mean?

Brenner:
You're going the wrong way.

George:
I'm going by the compass.

Brenner:
[picks coffee cup up] You left that there. This is made of steel.

Brenner:
[he circles the mug around the compass and the needle follows it. Angry he throws the coffee mug down and it makes a loud clang]

Brenner:
You bugged the compass, you stupid idiot!

George:
Oh, geez, boss, I'm sorry. I wasn't think...

Brenner:
Stop the bloody truck.

Brenner:
I'll get the bastard!

Brenner:
[a few moments later he drives near the fleeing people, gets out of the truck and pours some gasoline in some tall dead grass. He then takes his gun out, fires and a deadly area of flames erupts]

George:
[groans and falls down]

Brenner:
George!

[tosses him a gun]

Brenner:
Here. Make him get in.

George:
[points it at Xixo like he isn't going to use it] Here. You get in.

Xixo:
[speaking own dialect]

George:
[gestures with gun to truck] You come with us.

Xixo:
[takes the gun out of George's hands]

George:
[gets it back quickly, nervously] Hey. Hey. You mustn't do that.

George:
[grumbling at how stupid George is being, runs over and knocks Xixo to the ground] Get me a tie down!

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[panting to the honey badger whose been on his shoe which he's had to drag all over] Are you gonna to hang in there forever?

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[takes out some cooked Ostrich egg yolk and places it on the ground] There. Lunch.

[the honey badger just continues to naw on his shoe]

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
Go on, try it.

[the badger doesn't]

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[opens a can of beer and takes a sip, then pours a little on the ostrich egg yolk he laid out] Okay, try that.

[taking another sip of beer, the honey badger suddenly lets go and goes to the yolk]

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[seeing this he immediately gasps] Mmph! [drops the can of beer and starts running]

[the honey badger hisses and starts chasing again]

George:
[with gun pointed in the least threateningly way at Xixo, Dr. Taylor, Dr. Stephen Marshall, and the two soldiers and says] All right, now. You people behave and nobody gets hurt.

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[tucks his gun in his waistband and then hitches up his pants. Not surprisingly the tug causes the gun to go sliding down his pants]

George:
[gasps] Oh my God. [tries to carefully reach down and get his gun, but can't. He then starts to pull his pants down, but stops realizing that the victims, especially Dr. Stephen Marshall are curiously eyeballing him]

George:
[chuckles nervously and again tries reaching down his pants, but this time the gun goes off]

George:
[groaning painfully and in stupidity, as he falls to the ground] Ow.

Dr. Stephen Marshall:
[struggling his way over] Quick get his gun. [reaching up George's pant leg]

George:
[groaning] Oh, no. You mustn't do that. My boss will kill you.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[gets it] Got it! [the four struggle towards the jeep, and Dr. Taylor calls out to Xixo] Mister, come with us.

Xixo:
[starts hobbling over]

George:
Wait, I wanna come too. He's gonna kill me.

Timi:
[goes to where the boss is being held] Oky! Get out!

[the boss does]

George:
How long will we get?

Timi:
I don't know. Maybe you'll get a year, but this bastard

[pointing at boss]

Timi:
is going to sit for a long time.

George:
Geez, boss.

Brenner:
George, you see that hill up there? I gotta go up there so I can talk to Ramsjey. I'm leaving you in charge of these people.

Timi:
You know why a compass has a mirror on the back?

Mateo:
[turning the compass over to see the mirror] Why?

Timi:
So you can see who's lost.

[the two bad guys place the tied up Xixo in the back of the truck. George then picks up Xixo's things and puts them with Xixo]

Brenner:
What the hell do you think you're doing?

George:
It's his boss.

Brenner:
[grumbles]

Timi:
[being chased by Mateo, opens a little book up and reads] Excerpts from the Geneva Convention.

Mateo:
Forget it!

Timi:
It says here, that no prisoner should be treated inhumanly.

Mateo:
All right, all right. You can rest for three minutes.

[they both stop and the Timi sits down by a tree]

Timi:
What's your hurry?

Mateo:
None your business.

[stares at his watch]

Mateo:
[short cut scene of the oldest kid running under a giraffe]

Mateo:
[still looking at his watch] 3 minutes.

[starts jeep up]

Timi:
I'm pooped man.

Mateo:
[doesn't listen and starts chasing Timi again. Suddenly, the Timi runs in another direction and a wild chase scene ensues]

Mateo:
[yelling all sorts of crazy things] Stop that! You are my prisoner! I'm gonna report you to the Geneva convention!

[Mateo gets on the hood of his jeep and then a moment later Timi gets in the driver seat and taps on the Mateo's ankle who is unaware where the Timi is. Mateo double takes, and Timi slams on the brakes as Mateo goes flying making a wild yelp]

Mateo:
You mustn't do that!

Timi:
[smiles] March!

[Mateo knocks over the gas can and he and Timi start fighting]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Stop it!

[they still fight]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
I said *stop it!*

[they still continue to fight]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Stop it right now!

[one of their guns goes flying and almost hits Dr. Ann Taylor who yelps. A second later, she picks up the gun and fires a warning shot at the two. They both stop fighting frozen in shock as they see Dr. Ann Taylor holding the gun on them]

Timi:
Lady be careful with that thing, give it here.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
No, I won't.

Timi:
But I'm the boot guard, he's a bloody Cuban. Give it here.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[fires another warning shot]

Timi:
Geeze, lady.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Yeah. Make -, my day.

[the struggling victims attempt to take off in the jeep, which only goes about 20 feet and then stalls out]

Timi:
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I told you, we were low on gas!

Xixo:
[speaking in his own dialect to Dr. Ann Taylor and the two soldiers]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Follow him.

Timi:
We low on gas.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Follow him.

Mateo:
We low on gas.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[enunciating] Follow him.

Timi:
[sighs, and follows Xixo]

Brenner:
[the two bad guys place the tied up Xixo in the back of the truck. George then picks up Xixo's things and puts them with Xixo]

Brenner:
What do you think you're doing?

George:
It's his boss.

Brenner:
[grumbles]

Timi:
[being chased by Mateo, opens a little book up and reads] Excerpts from the Geneva Convention.

Mateo:
Forget it!

Timi:
It says here, that no prisoner should be treated inhumanly.

Mateo:
All right, all right. You can rest for three minutes.

[they both stop and Timi sits down by a tree]

Timi:
What's your hurry?

Mateo:
None your business.

[stares at his watch]

Mateo:
[flash to a very short cut scene of the oldest kid running under a giraffe]

Mateo:
[still looking at his watch] 3 minutes.

[starts jeep up]

Timi:
I'm pooped man.

Mateo:
[doesn't listen and starts chasing Timi again. Suddenly, Timi runs in another direction and a wild chase scene ensues]

Mateo:
[yelling all sorts of crazy things] Hey! Stop that! You are my prisoner! I'm gonna report you to the Geneva convention!

[Mateo gets on the hood of his jeep and then a moment later the Timi gets in the driver seat and taps on the Mateo's ankle who is unaware where Timi is. Mateo double takes, and Timi slams on the brakes as the Mateo goes flying making a wild yelp]

Mateo:
You mustn't do that!

Timi:
[smiles] March!

[Mateo while trying to get up knocks over a can of gasoline with his knee and the two start fighting]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Stop it!

[they still fight]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
I said *stop it!*

[they still continue to fight]

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Stop it right now!

[one of their guns goes flying and almost hits Dr. Ann Taylor who yelps. A second later, she picks up the gun and fires a warning shot at the two. They both stop fighting frozen in shock as they see Dr. Ann Taylor holding the gun on them]

Timi:
Lady be careful with that thing, give it here.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
No, I won't.

Timi:
But I'm the boot guard, he's a bloody Cuban. Give it here.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
[fires another warning shot]

Timi:
Geeze, lady.

Dr. Ann Taylor:
Yeah. Make... my day.