The Golden Child

The Golden Child

The award-winning HBO series Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child provides updated cartoon versions of the classics that will hold your kids' attention without banging them on the head with themes. Four half-hour tales are included, each with a bevy of well-known vocal talent. A very sweet version of Pinocchio features a star-studded voice cast, including Will Smith, Chris Rock, Charles S. Dutton, and Della Reese. Although this may make the take sound strictly African American, the spin is decidedly multicultural. Geppetto becomes "George" and Pinocchio, being "chips of pine and oak off the old block" is called "Pinoak." The big spin is on Pinocchio's insect friend, who in this version is a termite named "Woody," played with a rascally style well suited to Chris Rock. For Mother Goose Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Smits, and Denzel Washington lend voice as the merriment takes place in Mother Gooseberg Land, where Old King Cole reigns over the likes of Little Miss Muffet, Georgie Porgie, and the rest of the gang who take their poetic direction from the grand dame of rhyme herself, Mother Gooseberg. Creativity oozes from this rollicking rhyme fest, an animated retelling of some well-loved classic nursery rhymes. A simple chore of chopping trees turns into a life lesson for a trio of peasant brothers in this fresh take on The Golden Goose. Drexel, Axel, and Simpleton are three strapping boys who live with their father and mother in a small kingdom. When father sends the older sons to clear the forest, they encounter a wizard--dressed as a beggar--who asks them for some food. Woven throughout this simple tale are subtle messages of the benefits of faith and kindness in everyday living, best understood by children ages 4 and older. The seductive music that the Pied Piper played to woo the children of Hamelin was jazz. At least, that's the take in retelling as old tales mix with new world vision. Here, the selfish King of Hamelin (Samuel L. Jackson) loves to dismiss all politics so he can count his money. Unfortunately, the rat problem becomes so severe that plans must be put into action. When a smooth, jazz-playing stranger (Wesley Snipes) wanders into town proclaiming that he can address the problem, the city council is ready to give him riches.

  The Golden Child Screenplay »
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PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Year:
1986
93
3,567 Views

The Old Man:
Keep your thought as pure as the water.

Chandler Jarrell:
Hey, this water ain't really that pure.

The Old Man:
Un-heh, neither are you.

Kee Nang:
We'll be there soon.

Chandler Jarrell:
Yeah, well, ya' better have a spatula where we're goin' cause my ass is frozen to this yak.

Chandler Jarrell:
Hey Bird - Did you just see a little Hare-Krishna midget in the tree, floatin'?... Or is it me?

Chandler Jarrell:
It must be Rod Serling.

Chandler Jarrell:
Only a man whose heart is pure can wield the knife, and only a man whose ass is narrow can get down these steps. And if mine's is such an ass, then I shall have it.

Herb Shop Clerk:
Yak loin. Good to keep the Yang up.

Sardo Numspaa:
You've no idea who I am, have you?

Chandler Jarrell:
Yes. You're Sardo Numsie. Ha-ha-ha. Look, I don't care who you are. I do care that you kidnapped a little kid, though.

Sardo Numspaa:
I could destroy you...

Sardo Numspaa:
... just like that.

Chandler Jarrell:
We wouldn't want that. Listen, bring me the boy, and I'll give you the knife. And then no one will have to be destroyed...

Chandler Jarrell:
... jus' like that.

Chandler Jarrell:
Tell me about the Golden Child.

Kala:
Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child. He has come to rescue us.

Chandler Jarrell:
Rescue us from what?

Kala:
From ourselves.

Chandler Jarrell:
Ah.

Kala:
He is the bringer of compassion. If he dies, compassion will die with him.

Chandler Jarrell:
So, if something happens to the kid, the whole world goes to hell?

Kala:
The world will become hell.

Chandler Jarrell:
So, tell me about this dream.

Kee Nang:
Some part's real, some part's dream.

Chandler Jarrell:
What about Numsie?

Kee Nang:
Numspaa, Sardo Numspaa. He's very real.

Chandler Jarrell:
You know, you were there, and you said some things that seemed pretty real...

Kee Nang:
That part was dream!

Chandler Jarrell:
I was just checking.

Chandler Jarrell:
So, I gotta go to Tibet, because I'm the Chosen One. Why can't anybody choose me to go to the Bahamas?

Chandler Jarrell:
Hey, that's a neat trick you do, where somebody throws a rock at you and you wave your hand and make it hit something else. Did you ever hear of Ed McMahon and "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. Probably got "Food Search." But you know what we could do, is we could all go on "Star Search" and we could give the audience rocks, and have them throw them at you, and then you can wave your hand and make them all hit Ed McMahon - hard.

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