The Hangover: Part II

Stu:
There's a demon in me.

Alan:
It's true, he has semen in him.

Phil:
Wait a second, Chow. We're in Bangkok?

Chow:
Holla! City of Squalor!

Phil:
Chow, what happened.

Chow:
You guys texted me. Said you f***ed up and looking to party.

Phil:
Your password is baloney1?

Chow:
Well, used to be just baloney, but now they make you add numbers.

Kingsley:
Really f***ing annoying.

Stu:
We're looking for a little kid.

Samir:
$2,000.

Stu:
Huh?

Samir:
Maybe more, I don't know. How young you want this kid to be?

Stu:
Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!

Alan:
We live an alternative lifestyle.

Tracy:
Phil.

Phil:
Tracy. I'm sorry.

Tracy:
Where the hell are you?

Phil:
[sighs] It happened again.

Tracy:
Don't say that. Please.

Phil:
No, this time we're really f***ed up.

Tracy:
Seriously, what's wrong with you 3?

Phil:
So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin.

Tracy:
Oh, God. How bad? Like, no wedding bad?

Phil:
Yeah. Little worse than that.

Phil:
Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?

Chow:
I am an international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.

Stu:
You have a wife?

Chow:
Yeah, we married 15 years. What, Chow not good-looking enough for a woman?

Stu:
Well, we're living here in Allentown, and he's drivin our lives into the ground. When we woke up we were wasted and drunk; Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk. I was happy and my life was good. Gettin' married like a dentist should, roastin' marshmallows on a stick. I got f***ed in the ass by a girl with a dick.

Alan:
[laughs] I remember that.

Stu:
And we're livin here in Allentown, but they're takin' Teddy's finger now. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my sh*t and shoot Allen in the face. Then shoot myself.

Alan:
You totally butchered that song.

Stu:
You totally butchered my life.

Bangkok has them now.

We're in Bangkok?!

We made a pact, Wolfpack only.

I have a demon in me.

No one here has to know.

We had a sick night!

We love to party!